An unexpected knock at the door startled her. She already knew Kimber was busy with family today. The neighbor she sometimes had dinner with was out of town. And she wasn’t expecting any deliveries. So who the devil could that be?
Tessa’s heart jolted. Any chance Zy had come to talk? Her hope was probably stupid and ridiculous. When she had signed her contract, he’d cut all communication. Not officially, but that had been the end of whatever crazy attraction they shared. Well, it had ended his. She still couldn’t forget him.
Smoothing her T-shirt and tugging her shorts into place, she opened the door. But she didn’t see a piercing pair of blue eyes with a sardonic smile.
Instead, Cash stood in her doorway.
She blinked at him like she’d seen a ghost. “W-what are you doing here? I still have a restraining order—”
“I know. And I deserve that. Will you give me five minutes to explain?”
“Cash, I—”
“Please. I’m literally begging you.”
Something the Cash she’d dated in the past would never have done.
“I don’t know…”
“If you don’t want to hear from me after I’ve said my piece, I’ll leave.”
Tessa hesitated. On the one hand, he’d been both disappointing and irresponsible. On the other, he was her daughter’s father. Five minutes wouldn’t kill her… “All right. So I take it you’re out of rehab?”
“I am. My dad filled you in about that, I guess.”
Tessa nodded. “When you told him about Hallie, he contacted me.”
“He’s seen her, right?”
“A few times. He seems glad to have a granddaughter.”
“I’m sure he is.” Cash smiled, but regret tinged his expression. “I’d really like to see her myself.”
Tessa wasn’t sure she was ready for that. “Hallie is sleeping, and I’m not inviting you in the house right now.”
He held up both hands. “I understand. I haven’t earned that. Tell me… Who does she look like?”
“She’s a blend of us both.”
“And since she has you for a mom, I know she’s beautiful.”
That was new. He certainly hadn’t dished out compliments the last time he’d come here.
“You asked for five minutes, Cash. What do you want to say?”
“Mostly that I’m sorry. I’ve been selfish, insensitive, and inconsiderate.” He frowned. “A lot of things were happening in my life, mostly with my job. I got laid off, you know. And I tried to handle it by looking to the bottom of a bottle.”
“Many bottles, from what I could tell.”
“More than I’d like to admit. When I start drinking, I just don’t seem to have any control. I become another person…” He shook his head in self-loathing. “Anyway, early in April I woke up in New Orleans in an abandoned building—minus my money, my phone, and half my clothes—without any recollection of how I got there. I realized something had to change.”
“Your dad picked you up and talked you into rehab?”
“Not exactly. Well, he picked me up. I was so hung over I could barely make it two blocks to find someone willing to lend me their phone. There was no way I could have made it the hundred fifty miles home on my own. But going to rehab was my idea. Dad supported my decision, thank God.”
“I’m glad you went.” What else could she say? If he was looking for absolution, fine. She forgave him, mainly because she’d already written him off.
“I learned a lot, Tessa. About myself and how to handle stress.” He reached for her hand. “About what I want out of life.”
If he meant her, she didn’t think she could ever go there again.
Tessa tugged her hand free. “Cash…”
“Hear me out. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, either as a man or a father, but I want one. I know I don’t deserve a woman as sweet and wonderful as you, but I’ve missed you like hell. I want to be a part of Hallie’s life. I think it’s important. I know how close you are to your dad.”
Used to be.
“I want that for my daughter, too. Hell, I’m not sure I’d be alive today if it wasn’t for my old man helping me out of my scrapes and talking me off a ledge. I’m twenty-six, but I’ve always felt like I was still a kid. And a stupid fuckup.” He paused, looking so painfully earnest. “For the first time, I feel like an adult. Like a man. Like I’m ready to face life. I’ll be forever grateful if you’d give me another chance.”
Pretty speech, and she wasn’t unmoved, but… “I don’t know. You have to see this from my perspective. You ran out on me when I needed you most. At a time when I was terrified of giving birth. After you knew I’d lost my mother. Hell, when I couldn’t even bend down well enough to shave my own legs. I had to drive myself to the hospital in the middle of the night while having contractions because you didn’t think you could ‘handle’ all this and I looked too big for you to want anymore. Despite being younger than you, I came home with a baby I didn’t know how to take care of, handled every sleepless night by myself, and supported the two of us without any help because you left me no choice. And you did it as my dad and I had a massive falling-out. I’ve been utterly alone. How am I supposed to overlook that and trust you again?”