“I’ll bunk in Stella’s old room.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“We’ll both sleep easier that way.”
SHE DID FEEL better, even though it didn’t exactly cajole sleep to imagine him just down the hall. Or to imagine how easy it would be to tiptoe down there, slide into bed beside him.
She had no doubt they’d both sleep a lot easier that way.
It was hell being responsible and mature.
Even a bigger hell to realize she cared about him more than she’d bargained for. But that was good, wasn’t it? she thought as she tossed and turned. She wasn’t a slut who hopped into bed with a guy just because he was good-looking and sexy.
Some people might think differently, because of Lily, but it hadn’t been that way. She’d cared for Lily’s father. She’d liked him. Maybe she’d been careless, but it hadn’t been cheap.
And she’d wanted the baby. Maybe not at first, she admitted. But after the panic and pity, the anger and denial, she’d wanted the baby. She’d never wanted anything in her life as much.
Her beautiful baby.
She’d taken nothing from the father, had she? The spineless, selfish bastard who’d used her grief to have his way. That hadn’t been stupid. She’d been smart not to tell him, to go away, keep her child to herself. Only hers. Always.
But she could have more, couldn’t she? She was thinking about this all the wrong way. Why should she work? Sweat and slave, settle for a room in the great house. She could have it all. Her child would have it all.
He wanted her. She could play this well. Oh yes, who knew better how to play a man. He would come begging before she was done, and she would bind him to her.
When it was done, Harper House would be hers, hers and her child’s.
At last.
eight
IN THE PROPAGATION house, Hayley watched Roz set a ceanothus cutting in a rockwood plug. “Are you sure you don’t mind watching Lily?”
“Why would I mind? Mitch and I will spend the evening spoiling her rotten while you aren’t around to run interference.”
“She loves being with you. Roz, I feel so weird about everything.”
“I don’t know why you’d feel weird about going out on a date with Harper. He’s a handsome, charming young man.”
“Your young man.”
“Yes.” Roz smiled as she dipped another cutting in rooting compound. “Aren’t I lucky? I also have two other handsome, charming young men, and wouldn’t be the least surprised if they had dates tonight.”
“It’s different with Harper. He’s your first, he’s your partner. I’m working for you.”
“We’ve been over this, Hayley.”
“I know.” Just as she knew that impatient tone. “I’m not able to wind myself through it as easy as you, I guess.”
“You might if you’d relax, go out, and have a good time.” Roz glanced up before sliding the cutting into the plug. “Wouldn’t hurt to try to catch a quick nap beforehand, either. See if you can deal with those circles under your eyes.”
“I didn’t sleep well.”
“Not surprising, considering.”
The music in the propagation house today was some sort of complicated piano, drenched in romance. Hayley had more skill identifying plants than classical composers, so she just let the music drift around her as she worked.
“I kept having weird dreams, at least I think I did. I can’t remember any of them clearly. Roz, are you afraid?”