"The truth, then. Shehurt me. " Emotion drenched her voice as she pressed a fisted hand to her heart. "She sliced me up and carved me out. Seeing John like that. I can't explain it, I don't have words for what it did to me. "
She whirled back to him, and he saw her eyes were drenched, too. The tears didn't fall, and he could only imagine the vicious strength that held them back. But the golden brown swam with tears.
>
"She dropped me right down to the ground, and there was nothing I could do. How can I fight that? How can I fight something that doesn't really exist? Even knowing why she did it doesn't stop it from squeezing my heart into bloody pulp. "
With an impatient gesture, she used the heels of her hands to swipe at any tear that escaped her control.
"He didn't deserve to be used that way. Do you see? He didn't deserve it. He was a good man, Mitchell. A good man, good husband, good father. I fell in love with him when I was fourteen. Fourteen years old, can you imagine? He made me a woman, and a mother, and God, a widow. I loved him, beyond measure. "
"She can't touch what you feel for him. Nothing she can do can touch it. I didn't know him, but I'm looking at you, Rosalind, and I can see that. I can see him. "
Her breath released on a shaky, painful sound. "You're right. You're right. " She leaned against the doorjamb, stared out into the cool rain. "You didn't deserve to be used, either. You didn't - don't - deserve what she tried to make you in my mind. I didn't believe it of John, and I didn't believe it of you. But it hurt, nonetheless, it hurt. "
She took another breath, a stronger one. "I don't equate you with Bryce. I hope you know that. "
"I'd rather know what you feel instead of what you don't. Why haven't you wanted to see me, Roz?"
"Nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. Don't you hate when people say that?"
"Enough that I'm having a hard time not grabbing you and shaking out the rest of it. You're not the only one with a healthy share of wrath. "
"No, I believe I caught the leading edge of it just now. One of the things I like about you is you have a strong sense of control. I have such a vile temper, you've no idea. So I know all about control. "
"Aren't we just two mature individuals. "
"Oh, you're still mad at me. " She let out a half laugh, then tried to give him what he'd asked for. The truth. "The last night I spent with you?"
She turned now, facing him fully with the open doors at her back. "It was beautiful, and meant so much in so many ways. The next day I thought of you, and when I came home from work, I was going to call you. There was a message from you on my machine. "
"Roz, I have a standing date with Josh. My son - "
"I know. It wasn't that. God, don't start worrying I'm one of those needy females who craves a man's attention every minute of every day. It was the message after yours that set me off. It was about my membership at the country club, how I'd canceled it, and sent in some letter full of complaints and rude comments, and so on. Which, of course, I hadn't done. "
"Clerk. "
"Undoubtedly. Easy enough to straighten out, really - No. " She shook her head. "Truth. It was irritating and embarrassing to straighten out. But either way it set me off. I was halfway out the bedroom door, blood in my eye, heading out to hunt him down like a sick dog when Hayley and the baby got in my way. She stopped me, for which I'm grateful. I don't know what I might've done with my temper up like that. "
"I bet it would've been worth the price of a ticket. "
"I'd probably have landed in jail for assault at the very least. I was raging so much I scared that baby, made her cry. And said a particularly foul word in front of her that dealt with Bryce's sexual activities should he have same with members of his own gender. "
"Seeing Lily's not quite a year old, I don't imagine it made much of an impression. "
"Regardless, I was nearly out of my mind with temper, and I got it under control, but it was simmering in there for a while. I wanted to cool down, all the way down. And I had to go meet with my lawyer, make a courtesy call at the club. Smooth everybody else's feathers. "
"Next time it might occur to you that I'd like a chance to smooth yours. "
"I'm mean when I'm mad. "
"Bet you are. "
She sank into a chair.
"Roz, you should go to the police with this. "
"I did. One more embarrassment. And you don't need to tell me I've nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel it, so there it is. Nothing much they can do, of course, but I've documented all the things I know about. If and when it can be proved he's behind this, it's fraud, and it may be considered stalking. If I can burn his ass, Mitch, you can bet the bank I'll do just that. "