“This is wonderful,” she whispered. “I can’t remember a better day. My very first picnic.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. I always wanted to go on one.”
“Your family...”
She stiffened, unable to stop the reflexive reaction.
“I’m sorry. None of my business.”
Not speaking for a moment, she considered what to say. She and Mike had gotten close, in just about every way. But there was that one part of her life she’d never told him about. Never come close to telling him about.
She wasn’t sure she was ready to share the whole thing, but she could at least try to do what she knew he wanted her to do: open up to him, knock down those last walls she kept wrapped so protectively around her heart.
“I didn’t have the big-family, happy childhood you had,” she finally said. Clearing her throat, she added, “I was an only child.”
“Hey, only child—more presents at Christmas.”
If her laugh was bitter, she supposed she could be forgiven. “There were rarely Christmases. No birthdays. My parents were big believers in the what-doesn’t-kill-you-makes-you-stronger philosophy.”
“You were abused?” he asked, the words stark and pained.
“I never really thought of it that way. I mean, certainly not sexually, and physically it didn’t usually go beyond an occasional spanking.”
She heard him let out a long, slow breath, and realized he’d been holding it, waiting for her to answer his question. Realizing he’d been worried about something that might have happened to her long, long ago, she could feel another rush of emotion toward this man filling her heart.
“What haven’t you said yet?” he asked.
“Well, I suppose Children and Families considered me abused. They took me away and I went into foster care for a couple of months after I was found wandering through the projects where we lived one night. I’d woken up alone and gone looking for my parents, who were at a bar. I was seven.”
His muscles tightened; she could feel it from his shoulder down to his legs. His reaction didn’t surprise her—this wasn’t easy for her to talk about, and it wouldn’t be easy for somebody like Mike, who only wanted to protect people, to hear.
“Jesus.”
“It’s okay. It’s over. They were a little better, for a while, anyway, after they got me back. Eventually I was old enough to take care of myself and it didn’t matter anymore. They’re both long gone. As is the little lost girl I was.”
“But you’re alone.”
“I’ve got Callie,” she insisted. And you. But she didn’t quite dare to say that aloud. “She and her family pretty much took me in during high school and gave me the closest thing to a normal life I’ve ever had. That’s why she’s like my sister. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”
“I’m glad she was there for you. But I’m still so sorry, angel.”
“I had it worse than some, but not as bad as others. And in the end, I succeeded beyond their wildest expectations, and my own dreams. I refused to let whatever shitty things might have happened in my past determine my future.”
He kissed her cheek, gently stroking her hip, tracing little circles on her skin. “You’re an amazing woman, Lindsey Smith. Thank you for telling me.”
She turned to look at him, cupping his face, seeing the moisture in his eyes from the tears he wanted to shed for her. Her heart twisted, something broke open, and she found herself actually shedding a tear, too.
“You’re an amazing man, Mike. Thank you so much for making me trust you enough to tell you.”
9
WHEN MIKE HEARD a knock on the door of his apartment on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, he figured his landlady was bringing him some flag-shape cookies, or maybe a red, white and blue cake. He considered ignoring the knock, since he’d just gotten out of the shower and wore only a pair of jeans, but the landlady would just use her key to let herself into his place and “surprise” him.
She’d done that once—surprising him. He’d been surprised all right, considering he’d been walking naked from his bedroom to the kitchen to put on some coffee.
He’d hoped that would have taught her a lesson. Instead, if anything, he suspected she’d be quicker to use her key now than she’d been before that embarrassing incident.
“Just a second,” he said, tossing the towel he’d used on his hair down. He made sure it landed on top of the large package he’d received in yesterday’s mail. He somehow didn’t think his landlady would react well to seeing a big foam device called a Sex Wedge standing in his apartment.