A long, hot shower gave him decompression time, allowing him to force back the base urge to smack something again and again. Once he got going, it was hard to shut it off.
But he couldn’t live in the ring. He had to find a balance between the need to fight and the rest of his life. Until he could, what kind of father would he be? How could he willingly expose his children to that?
Someone knocked on his bedroom door as he exited the bathroom, toweling off his damp hair. For modesty’s sake, he draped the towel over his lower half and pulled open the door.
“Hi.” Caitlyn’s eyes strayed to his torso, lingered and cut back up again quickly. Pink bloomed in her cheeks.
He loved that blush, and with his body already caught in an adrenaline storm, it set off fireworks. His groin filled, primed for a whole different sort of one-on-one. Not a good combination when in the company of a woman who’d asked for space.
But then, she was also a woman who’d sought him out—in his bedroom. Maybe she’d gotten her space and was done with it.
Her eyebrows drew together as she focused on his face. “What happened? You’re bleeding.”
“I ran into something.” He shrugged as her gaze narrowed. “Another guy’s fist. I went to Falco this afternoon.”
Her expression didn’t change. “Do you need antiseptic? A Band-Aid?”
He bit back a smile. “No self-respecting fighter walks around with a Band-Aid on his face. Thanks for the concern, but it doesn’t hurt.”
It didn’t hurt because his body was still flying on a postmatch trip that ignored the pain of a cut. Instead, he was solely focused on the ache caused by Caitlyn’s nearness. She was exactly what his queued-up body craved.
“Come in,” he murmured thickly and held the door open wider.
She shook her head, eyes wide. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Oh, it was a very good idea. Obviously she thought so, too, or she wouldn’t have knocked on his door. “Then, why are you here, Caitlyn?”
The question seemed to confuse her. She bit her lip and it drew his gaze to her mouth, causing him to imagine replacing her teeth with his.
She glanced away and cleared her throat. “I, uh, meant to talk to you about something, but I didn’t realize you’d be...undressed.”
“Didn’t you?” He cocked his head. “That’s what generally happens behind closed doors. Here, let me demonstrate.”
But when he reached for the towel, intending to drop it and see where it led, she squeezed her eyelids shut. “No, no! That’s okay. I get the point. I shouldn’t have come to your bedroom, not after you’d just come back from Falco. I didn’t realize you’d gone there, but you didn’t come down for dinner, and I was worried and you’re hurt and...this was a mistake.”
Caitlyn whirled as if about to flee. Again.
Antonio shot out his hand to grip her arm before she took a step. “Caitlyn. Stop running away.”
He needed her in a raw, elemental way. In other, more emotional ways he couldn’t fully grasp. He didn’t think it was one-sided, and the longer this back-and-forth went on, the clearer it became that they needed to deal with it head-on.
Smoothly, he turned her around to face him, searching her gaze for clues to her constant caginess. Confusion and something else skated through her expression.
“Come inside,” he pleaded again.
If only he could get her on this side of the threshold, he’d feel less as if he was losing a grip on his sanity. If only he could get her to understand he was desperate to explore things he didn’t fully grasp, things only she could teach him because she was the only woman he wanted.
“I can’t.” Her eyes were huge and troubled and her gaze flicked to the wound near his eyebrow. “I’m...scared.”
The admission pinged through him, drawing blood with its claws of condemnation. He dropped his hand from her arm, flexing his raw fist, which smarted from connecting with bone in Cutter’s face. Antonio lived and breathed to inflict bodily harm on other human beings, and she saw that about him.
She’d needed space because the falcon inside him frightened her. It should scare her.
He’d forced her to watch him fight the other day, forced her to remain in his presence now with evidence of his brutal nature plain as day on his face. Practically forced her into his room so he could have his carnal way with her because of his own selfish desires.
But she didn’t leave when he let go. She had every right to. She deserved someone gentle and kind.