Lily licked her bottom lip, staring at her plate. “I don’t understand. Sometimes you’re bossy, but other than the few times when we’ve made love and it was your turn, you don’t seem overtly Dom-like to me, not compared to the relationship you shared with Bliss.”
“How would you know about the relationship I shared with Bliss?”
“I asked her.” Lily’s voice dropped to a whisper. “During Beth’s baby shower, a few of the women were talking about the men.”
“I was a topic of conversation at a baby shower?”
“No! Bliss and a few of the women became a little inebriated and began talking. Killyama was talking about Train, and then she asked me about your tattoos. She really wanted to know—”
“I know what she wanted to know. Did you tell her?” His jaw was clenched so tight he could barely talk.
“Of course not! But Bliss did then Jewell. Don’t be angry. They didn’t know I was listening. They had offered to pack Beth’s gifts to her car. I took one out, and they didn’t see me.”
“You could have told them you were there,” Shade snapped.
“I could have … but I didn’t,” Lily readily agreed. “I want to understand you.”
“All you had to do was ask me instead of listening to gossip.”
“I’ve tried, but you always make me feel as if I’m imagining things or blowing things out of proportion. I wanted to understand that side of you better.”
“What did you find out?”
“That you treat me differently than them.”
“Each submissive is different, and you’re my wife.”
Lily took a drink of her water before continuing. “She said you’re a master with a whip, that you can leave patterns without bruising that go away in a few hours. She said you made several on her back, but you haven’t with me. I looked. Why?”
“I told you, each submissive is different, with their own particular needs. Bliss enjoys pain; she craves it. You do not.”
“How do you know? You haven’t really tested my limits, have you?”
“No,” Shade admitted.
“Why? Because of my past?”
“Partially…” Shade continued, despite the flash of hurt that crossed her face. “And partially because I knew you would ask when you were ready for more.”
“Like the other women in the clubhouse did?” Lily looked away from him, staring at the doorway of the restaurant.
When King frowned, taking a step forward, Shade shook his head. Lily had broached the subject, and he wasn’t going to let her end it before it was settled.
“Eyes to me, Lily,” Shade said firmly. He was tempted to give her one of those patterns she was jealous over when they went home. If she wasn’t so far along, he would have left no doubt in her mind that she was his submissive.
She turned her gaze back to him. “I told you I’ve had sex with the women in the clubhouse, so why are you bringing it up now?”
“Because you don’t treat me like you’re my Master like you did the other women! Am I doing it wrong? Is it because I’m pregnant?” Lily’s lips trembled. “I’m not special to you at all, am I?”
“Lily, I married you, so of course you’re special to me.” He lowered his voice. “Are you upset because I don’t treat you like your idea of what a sub should be treated like?”
“Yes! You don’t treat me like one at all.”
If he lived to be a hundred, he would never understand his shy wife. Her convoluted thinking would stump a rocket scientist.
“Why do you have my dinner on the table when I come home?”
Lily frowned, believing he was changing the subject. “Because you frown and go to eat at the clubhouse if I don’t.”
“You hang my clothes in the closet the way I like, why?”
“Because you go behind me and do it the way you like. The last time I messed up, you washed your own clothes for two weeks before you let me do it again…” Her voice trailed off.
“And when I want to fuck my way, do you turn me down, or are you looking forward to it?”
She didn’t answer, her face turning angrily red.
“Now you’re getting angry because you realize I have been treating you like my sub,” Shade mocked. “There are several different kinds of Masters, Lily. I don’t need contracts or whips unless I feel it’s what the sub needs. I guide you into finding your own personal fulfillment while I also find mine. That’s what makes a good Dom/sub relationship.”
“Lily.” Both of them looked up to see King standing next to their table. Her father bent down to kiss her on the check. “How was lunch?” King asked, his eyes going to Lily’s still full plate.
“It was good, but I’m not very hungry. I need to get back to work.” Lily started to rise from the table.
“Just a minute. King, will you ask the waitress to bring the check? Tell her to add a piece of Willa’s cake to go. Lily can’t have her cake and eat it right now, so I’ll save it for her for later.”
Lily’s eyes sparkled at his play of words.
He paid the bill and took the cake when King handed it to him before escorting Lily outside to the truck. Lily climbed in, sitting with her arms crossed in front of her breasts.
Shade sat down behind the wheel, his wife’s stubborn silence amusing him. She had been jealous when she had believed he had differentiated his relationship with the women at the clubhouse and her. However, now that she knew he had been treating her the same, merely with a different method, she wasn’t any happier.
When he pulled up in front of the church store, Lily climbed out, ignoring the hand held out to her. He placed it on the truck door, blocking her from moving away.
“Enjoy the rest of the day at work. Tonight, you can tell me which pattern you want me to put on that pretty little ass of yours.” He dropped his hand, moving away, and Lily slammed the truck door.
“I won’t be home until late. Beth and Razer are going out, and I offered to babysit,” Lily said smugly before rushing into the church store.
Shade stared at the store, debating going after her. Eventually, he got back inside the truck, not wanting to give Brooke the satisfaction of hearing an argument between him and Lily. Lily also needed time away from him to think.
Driving back to the clubhouse, he didn’t regret responding to Lily’s questions the way he had. When she had said she wasn’t special to him, it had cut through him like a knife. She was challenging his feelings for her, feeling as though he was holding a part of himself back, and he couldn’t fault her instincts when she was right.
* * *
“This is ridiculous. Rachel is going to know this is a set-up,” Beth snapped from the backseat.
“Not if you two are there, she won’t,” Shade replied, looking at his quiet wife in the rearview mirror.
The wives were all furious at their husbands for going along with Cash’s plan. He had asked them to come to show Rachel she could fit in. When the women didn’t feel it was right to trick Rachel and had denied Cash’s request, he had gone to Viper. Then Viper had reined the women in, making it part of their punishment for not telling Cash where Rachel had been when she had disappeared.
Lily looked away from him, turning to look out the window. She had jumped into the backseat with her sister when Beth had angrily climbed back there, but she had been the only one to agree when Cash had asked them to go.
It had surprised Shade, but when he had asked her why she had avoided the question, leaving the room. She was doing a lot of that lately. Shade’s lips tightened. Lily still remained an enigma to him in some ways.
Shade parked the truck beside the motorcycles, jumping out to help Lily before she could open her door. She hesitated before placing her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her down to the ground. Shade closed the truck door and was about to move away when he looked down to see tears in her anxious eyes.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a brat.”
Shade motioned for Razer and Beth to go on w
ithout them as he pressed Lily back against the side of the truck. His hand cupped her check, rubbing his thumb against the soft flesh.
“Angel, I love you.”
“I love you, too. I just want to make you as happy as I am. Instead, I created a rift between us.”
“No, there isn’t. I’m not going to let anything come between us. I understand it’s your first relationship, Lily. I rushed you into marriage then into having my child.”
“Shade, you didn’t rush me—”
“I could have waited until you had dated a few more men, lived a little more on your own, but I didn’t. I couldn’t watch you dealing with your past anymore. Truthfully, it wouldn’t have made a difference, anyway. I couldn’t live without you in my life anymore, and I wouldn’t have been able to watch you become involved with another man when I knew I was the one for you.”
Lily gave a low laugh. “You’re very confident of yourself.”
Shade shook his head. “I’ve never been overly confident of you, Lily.” Shade let her see his vulnerability for a brief second before closing down again and stepping back to hold out his hand.
“You ready to welcome Rachel into the club?”
“Let’s do this.” Lily grinned, taking his hand.
They walked to the group sitting near the lake where the men had laid down blankets. Shade was holding onto Lily as she sat down on one when they heard the approach of a motorcycle.
Cash pulled in and parked with Rachel on the back of his bike. They got off, immediately coming toward where they were sitting. As they neared, Shade could see Rachel was nervous being there with so many of The Last Riders.
“Hi, Rachel.” Lily’s soft voice had Rachel’s tense expression relaxing as she saw Lily sitting next to him. Then her eyes traveled to Beth who was sitting on the other side of her, next to Razer.
“Hi.” Rachel walked closer to the blanket they were sitting on.
Lily scooted closer to him, giving Rachel enough room to sit down next to her. Beth then edged closer to Razer on the opposite side, giving enough room for Cash to sit down next to Rachel.
“It’s beautiful out here at night, isn’t it?” Lily smiled, handing her a soda out of the cooler. “Rider came out earlier to set out the torches.”