Both men shuddered.
“No thanks. I’d rather drive for three hours before I hook up with one of those scatterbrained bitches.”
“Me, too,” Jonas agreed.
“You’d be lucky if they would have you,” she protested. “T.A. is just like the women you like, Hammer. She has big boobs and—”
“Yes, she does. But she has a bad habit of being friends with you and Sex Piston. I don’t need her talking about my junk when she gets mad at me.”
“T.A. only talked about Pike’s little pecker when she broke up with him.”
“Once is enough. I can’t even drink a beer with him now because I keep hearing her call him dicklet in my mind. Then she compared him to Rabbit. Once a man hears a woman make fun of a man’s equipment, it fucks with his head. Doesn’t it?” Hammer looked at Jonas for confirmation.
“Don’t bring me into this conversation.”
“Pussy.” Killyama sat forward, placing her elbows on each of their seats. “Come on, Jonas; you’re perfect for Crazy Bitch.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because she scares him.” Hammer reached for the pack of gum he kept on the dashboard without taking his eyes off the road.
“Crazy Bitch is the sweetest woman I know.”
“That’s not saying much. Besides, I asked her out last year. She turned me down.”
“Really? She never told me. Did she say why?”
“She said I acted too nice. I even tried to give her flowers. She said she’d never trust a man who gave her flowers again.”
“I’ll talk to her.”
“Don’t bother. She said she wouldn’t date another man who couldn’t pass a lie detector when asked if they would ever hit her. By that point, I wanted to strangle her, so I knew I wouldn’t pass.”
“She didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, she did. I was only asking her on a date, not asking her to shack up with me.”
She shrugged. “It’s your loss.”
“Yes, it is … Thank God.”
“I’ll keep my eye out. You both are going to end up old and lonely if you don’t stop being so damn picky.”
“I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll go out with someone you want me to if I can pick someone to go out with you.”
“Who? I’m open to suggestions.” Then she thought better of her acceptance, needing to clarify her terms. “As long as he doesn’t have a little dick.”
She saw Hammer roll his eyes in the rearview mirror. “I’m not going to ask them how big their dick is!”
“Why not? I’ll ask the women what bra size they’re wearing before I decide who to fix you up with.”
“A woman’s tits aren’t the only things I’m interested in. They have to have a brain, too.”
“Shasta didn’t have a PHD after her name.” Killyama rolled her eyes back at him. “She could barely add two and two when you were married to her.”
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”
“No. But I have to admit, I miss her. I liked her better than some of your other girlfriends.”
“I divorced her, because you told me she was letting you party with the Destructors.”
“I didn’t party with the Destructors. At least, not back then. I was just hanging out with them.”
“Biggest mistake I ever made was trusting Shasta with you … and not convincing your mom not to let you hang out with Sex Piston. I listened to Shasta when she lied and said you were just hanging out at my apartment. I didn’t know you had made it party central for you and your friends. She left me with two months’ back rent when she left me for T.A.’s cousin. The fucking whore even took my car.”
“Shasta wasn’t the reason I made friends with them. She couldn’t handle me any better than you could.”
“Your mama blamed me for you running wild.”
“I wasn’t running wild. Sex Piston just liked hanging out there. She needed—”
“Every time one of those bitches needed you, you took off running. Still do.”
“Don’t blame them. They’ve never asked me to do anything I didn’t want to do.”
“No?”
“No!”
“I’m not even going there with you. You’ve broken me. I’d rather do another tour of duty than argue with you. I stand a better chance of winning a whole fucking war than winning an argument with you.”
“I’m not that bad.”
“Yes. You. Are.”
Killyama sat back huffily. “I’m going to pick the meanest bitch I can find for you to go out with.”
“Then I have nothing to worry about.”
“Why?”
“Think about it.”
If Hammer weren’t driving, she would backhand him on the back of his laughing head.
4
“Want another beer?”
Rosie’s bar was crowded to overflowing with Last Riders and Destructors, but Train had sat at the end of the bar facing the door so he could see anyone entering.
It was only when Rider shoved him to get his attention that Train took his eyes off the doorway.
“No thanks. I’m still working on the one I have.”