I blinked rapidly. I was not going to cry. I’d gotten out. I might even have a better life ahead of me.
Anything was better than what I’d left behind.
I gripped the stainless-steel knife I had clutched in my hand. I’d grabbed it when he wasn’t looking. I’d said that I didn’t steal, and that was true. I was just borrowing it. I wouldn’t take it when I left, if he wasn’t as good as he seemed.
I would defend myself if need be.
I stared at the ceiling. I was still fully dressed, although I’d swapped out the gross old Ace bandage holding my boobs down for the new one he’d given me for my ribs. I would have loved to kick these gigantic track pants off and sleep in the T-shirt, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t risk getting caught in a vulnerable state of undress. I had to be ready to run. So I stared at the ceiling and waited.
Waited for the familiar sound of someone standing outside my door. Breathing. Deciding if tonight was the night he would come in.
Then I heard it. A door opened down the hallway. I tensed up, preparing myself to fight. Footsteps, but not slow. He wasn’t all that quiet either. I held my breath as he came close to the door . . . and kept going without pausing. I exhaled with a whoosh.
If he was a pervert, he wasn’t trying to come in here tonight. Maybe he was one of the types who liked to butter you up, make you trust them. And then BAM, it was pervert time.
Or maybe he’s just a really good guy, Parker.
Yeah. Maybe that.
Maybe.
I closed my eyes and gave in to sleep.
Chapter Five
Shane
They’d found another body.
It was one of the Untouchables this time. I was over at The Jar, getting filled in by Mason and Connor. Even Cain had deigned to visit, and that guy really, really hated me.
I’m sure one of my guys killing one of his guys was not going to help, even if he didn’t know for sure it was one of mine. The whole thing pretty much pointed to the Hell Raisers though. So I didn’t blame him for coming in half-cocked.
I secretly liked all of them, but I couldn’t let them know it. I trusted them not to lie, at least, and that was saying a lot. I was pretty sure they knew I wasn’t as twisted as Dante, but I’d also done my best to make everybody think I was nuts. It didn’t mean they were going to invite me over for beer, which was fine by me.
I didn’t need friends.
I had to maintain my crazy as fuck cover.
Especially now that I didn’t know where the act stopped and the truth began. I wasn’t the same man I’d been before Billy’s death. I wasn’t even the man I was last year. Every time I slid a little further down the hole, I lost a little bit of who I used to be. My persona was manufactured at first, a façade meant to get me into the ranks of one of the most violent motorcycle clubs in California. No, the nation. Now it wasn’t an act anymore.
It was real.
I didn’t have to pretend anymore. I loved the danger. I craved it. I had become who I hated and hated who I had become.
I was the asshole who picked fights with other drunk assholes, most of them carrying knives and guns. I was the asshole who drank whiskey like it was water, just to numb the pain. I was the asshole who rode over here without a helmet, taking hairpin turns at eighty miles per hour.
But today, I’d thought about my safety for the first time in years. If something happened to me, the kid would be screwed. I made a mental note to get more cash and write something up giving the kid the place. At least that would put a roof over the kid’s head, if nothing else.
Keep him off the street and safe from anyone who wanted to hurt him.
“All signs point to a Raiser. You got any ideas?”
I didn’t argue with Mason’s statement.
“I’m watching a few guys.”
Connor’s chair made a harsh noise as it scraped the floor. He leaned in.
“If you have any clue, we need to know.”
“You and the rest of the FBI,” I countered.
“Tell me who so I can put surveillance on them.” Cain glared at me, his giant hands forming massive fists. I was surprised he even talked to me. He looked like he was going to explode.
Mason, on the other hand, looked uncomfortable. He knew what was about to happen, even if the other two were too stupid to figure it out.
“My club. I handle it.”
Cain stood up and loomed over me.
“My wife almost got killed by this fucker. I handle it.”