Not just want.
Love.
You fell in love with the world’s most confusing man, you idiot.
I was in love with a man who either stuck to me like glue or pretended I didn’t exist. A man who didn’t want to be bothered with me. Didn’t want the connection.
But I did bother him. A lot, from what I could tell.
The way his eyes lingered on me . . . . his eyes burning where they caressed my curves . . . the nape of my neck . . . my legs. I could feel his eyes under my clothes and licking my bare skin.
Unless I was imagining things. Which I very well could be.
I pretty much daydreamed about him all the time. Shane smiling, happy, and relaxed. Shane telling me he loved me. Shane taking me to his bed and finally doing all the normal things people did when they were in love. All the stuff I had skipped so far. Private things that I wanted to do for the first time.
With him. Only with him.
I sighed and turned the water off, grabbing a towel. My clean clothes were folded neatly on the sink. I dried off, combing my hair and patting it dry. I brushed my teeth and applied some lip gloss. I didn’t know why I bothered. I was pretty sure Shane would be gone by the time I got out.
Maybe that’s why I was taking my time tonight.
Because I didn’t want to watch him turn away again.
I didn’t want to watch him leave.
I got dressed and slid into my canvas sneakers. I was still buttoning my shirt as I left the bathroom. I stopped short.
Shane was sitting on the couch, staring at me. He looked serious. He looked sad.
“What’s wrong?”
He stood up and stared at me. I watched his throat as he swallowed. He was worried about something. Upset.
“Come here, Parker. We need to talk.”
He exhaled as I walked closer. He indicated that I should sit on the couch. I sat. He sat. He cleared his throat and looked at me.
“I have to go away for a few days.”
“Okay. Is everything all right?”
“No.” He looked at me with a haunted look in his beautiful eyes. “No. But it will be.”
“Can I do anything to help?”
He stared at me searchingly.
“Parker . . .”
My lips parted. There was open longing in his voice. The way he was looking at me. He did want me back. He did!
“I need you to stay at Mason’s.”
“What?”
Like a bucket of ice, his words squashed whatever I’d been feeling. I thought he wanted me. Instead, he was kicking me out.
You are a fool. He just wants you gone so he can go back to his life. You overstayed your welcome.
“You want me to move out?”
“It’s not safe here.”
I wanted to curl in on myself. Shrink. Hide.
“Mason will protect you. Cain and Connor too. You’re one of them now.”
“Them? What about you?”
“I’m not . . . I’m not an Untouchable. I’m not part of anything.”
“I thought they were your friends?”
“No. They tolerate me because of a shared interest. But I trust them. I trust them with my life. And yours.”
“I don’t understand. You’re sending me away?”
“I have to.”
“You don’t want me here. You don’t want me . . .”
The tears started falling. I couldn’t stop them. Boy, had I misunderstood the situation. Feeling utterly humiliated, I stood up. I was ready to run. I took one step, two, three. But I didn’t get far.
Shane caught my hand and spun me around to face him. His giant hands gripped my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. His dark and stormy eyes were on my lips and my mouth.
“I want you too damn much!”
His lips crashed down on mine. I gasped at the feel of him. His nearness overwhelmed me. He was so big and hard and he gave off heat like a furnace. His face was scruffy but his lips were soft. Soft and firm and insistent as he urged my mouth open. His tongue dove inside, stroking and tasting and—
He tore away, refusing to look at me.
“I promised myself I wasn’t going to do this. You should go. Get away from me. It’s not safe to be around me when I’m like this.”
I touched his shoulder and he flinched.
“Like what? I don’t understand, Shane.”
“I’m no good for you, Parker. I can’t give you what you need.”
“What do I need?”
“You need someone to love and protect you. Someone stable. I’m fucked up in sixty different ways, Parker. More than sixty.”
He was so stiff, like he was holding his body in check. I rubbed my hand over his jaw until he looked at me, his eyes blazing.
“I don’t care. I only want you.”
He cursed, and the room spun as I was lifted and pressed against the wall. My feet didn’t even touch the ground. He lifted my legs until they were around his waist, and he kissed me, hard and deep and true. I groaned as I felt his hardness against me between my legs. The heat of his arousal. The size of him startled me. I stiffened and froze, staring at him with wide eyes.