"I'm offering valuable parenting advice. That counts as helping."
"How's my precious girl?" Jean leaned in, giving the baby currently attached to my front by some crazy harness contraption a kiss. I didn't take the opportunity to sniff Jean's hair, because that would be weird and creepy.
Coconut scented, though, if you're wondering.
"She slept almost a full five hours in a row last night." Jean sighed. "I feel half human."
"I thought I noticed something different about you this morning. You look..." What did just a friend even say in this sort of situation? That was the question. Everything that normally would have come out of my mouth could easily be misconstrued as a come-on. Which it normally would be. These were difficult, trying-as-all-hell times. Truth was, I'd never seen her look anything less than gorgeous. No matter how tired or messy-haired she got. The woman made my knees weak. But friends probably didn't tell each other stuff like that. "You know..."
Her smile was hesitant, waiting.
"Good. You look, yeah, good."
"Thanks."
"But back to these..." I held up the pair of fluffy ears attached to Ada's seriously stupid bunny snowsuit. Despite needing every and any distraction, I was pretty offended on the kid's behalf. "Do these say warrior princess to you?"
"Isn't she a little small to be kicking butt?"
"But it's the message you're sending. She should be in like a wolf suit or a dragon costume or something."
With a smile, Jean held Ada's hands. "Fine. Whatever. You dress her next time."
"All right, I will."
She laughed. "Can't wait to see that."
"Why? It's not that hard, is it?"
Jean just shrugged. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Big capable guy such as yourself should have no trouble getting her into her suit. Especially when she's in a foul mood and throwing a tantrum. It's really fun then."
Ada's little feet swung around, one hand waving while the other got sucked on. When she was all chill and cute, it seemed hard to believe she could ever be all "hell hath no fury."
"Hmm." I tucked the ears back so they didn't hang in her face. "I think your mommy's being mean to me about this whole suit thing, Ada. And I was only trying to stick up for you."
"Not even remotely. Rest assured, you'll know when I'm being mean to you, Mr. Collins." Jean raised an eyebrow. Never had a woman holding frozen chicken strips looked so hot.
Whoa. I stopped, licked my lips. "Will I now?"
"Mm-hmm." With five solid hours of sleep under her belt, she seemed a little more back to being herself. The charming young woman who had swanned into the bar a few months ago.
"Why would you want to be mean to me, when I live only to serve you and Miss Floppy Ears here?"
"Oh, do you now?" she asked, going heavy on the disbelief.
"You know I do."
Jean shot me a megawatt smile this time.
We were not flirting. We were doing something else. Something that felt a shitload like flirting, but wasn't. Because we were just friends. And hey, I'd only been stating a simple fact. "I, ah, did meet someone last night at work who I wanted to tell you about."
Jean's smiled disappeared. "Yes?"
"Her name was Caroline and she's a single mom like you," I said. "She had some interesting ideas for helping Ada go to sleep. About using light to signal that it's bedtime. Basically, lots of sunlight during the day, then use the dimmers at night when you want her to settle."
"Okay," she said slowly.
"You're already putting her down when she's drowsy instead of asleep, so we knew about that one. Same with the baby origami so she doesn't twitch and startle." I put my hands under Ada's little sock-covered feet. She liked pushing against something, testing her strength. "But Caroline also suggested avoiding eye contact during midnight feeds so you don't stimulate her."
"You talked about baby bedtime routines with a random woman at the bar?"
I shrugged. "Yeah. She was very nice. Gave me her number in case you wanted to reach out."
"Um, I don't think it's me she's hoping will reach out."
"Of course it is."
Jean laughed. "Since when in your experience have women talked to you in the hopes of finding baby playdate friends?"
"Hey now," I said, "just because I'm delightful and ridiculously good looking doesn't mean every woman I talk to is only thinking about what I can do for them in bed."
"Hmm."
"You don't constantly think about us having sex, do you?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Because Jean might have flirted with me at first, but those days were long gone. "I rest my case."
Her mouth opened, then closed, her brows drawing closer together. "I'm too tired to think about sex."
"Exactly."
"Besides, look what sex did to me." She stroked Ada's cheek with a finger. "It gave me this beautiful, wonderful, incredibly high-maintenance baby girl. Excuse me if I take a break from all things naked and horizontal for a while. I only just got to stop sharing my body with a little being. I'm not sure I want to open it up to anyone else anytime soon."
"Fair enough," I said. "Now stop saying 'sex.'"
"You stop saying 'sex.'"
"I swear, it's all you ever think about, you ladies."
More laughter. "No, I think about diapers and milk and laundry. It's a very glamorous life having a baby. God knows how people deal with more than one. They should be given gold medals and cookies."
I grinned.
"Hey, I thought it was you guys," said Andre, wandering up alongside us. He nodded at my chest. "Got something on your front there, man."
"Yeah, thanks," I said drily.
Ada waved her chubby fist and he grinned. "Hey, bunny girl. Cool costume."
Jean gave me a look like, "Andre likes the outfit" so I gave her a look like, "that really just makes my point." And then he had to go and do it. He leaned in and kissed Jean on the cheek. Give me strength. If it had been the baby, no worries. But I didn't even get to kiss Jean on the cheek and we were like besties these days. When I wasn't at work, I was helping her out with whatever she needed. Be it taking out the trash, doing dishes, or hanging out with Ada so she could get stuff done. Hanging with her and Ada was my new happy place.
But as for this whole face-kissing thing ... fucking outrageous. Andre was seriously crossing a line. Where was Nell to lecture him when he needed it, huh?
"How are you doing?" he asked in a much warmer voice than was required. Making my hands curl into fists.
"Great," said Jean, smiling on. "How about you?"
"Better now that I've seen the two cutest girls in town."
Gag.
I grabbed Ada's cloth out of my back pocket and wiped her chin before an impressively long line of dribble could hit the floor. Obviously, she was as unimpressed by Andre's hustling as I was. The girl had taste.
Jean and Andre chatted for a minute, while I distracted myself by quietly singing Ada some Janis Joplin. "Me and Bobby McGee" was our go-to track, though she also enjoyed "Mercedes Benz." "Cry Baby" would have been too obvious, plus possible subliminal messages that wouldn't end well for anybody. I didn't really know any proper baby songs, but she didn't seem to mind. Jean didn't seem to mind
either. She always told me not to stop on her account. And the other day I heard her humming "Mercedes Benz" to Ada as she changed her diaper. Classic rock was everyone's friend. Forget Mariah Carey and her Christmas carols playing over the store's speakers.
"Right, Eric?" asked Andre.
"Huh?"
"She should come to the bar's Christmas party next week," he said. "Jean and the baby, right?"
Jean grimaced. "I don't know..."
"Come on." Andre grinned. "You can both be my dates. It'd be an honor."
My heart stuttered. I swear, it stopped for like a second or something. She had been getting cabin fever lately being stuck at home with Ada all the time. Given the frosty weather conditions, it wasn't like even going for a walk was easy.
"It is just downstairs and there'll be plenty of people to help look after Ada," I said.
A kind of light came into her eyes. Excitement, perhaps. "You think?"
"Sure. You should come."
Later I'd kick myself for not asking her before Andre. Later.
"It'll be fun. You'll have a good time," I rambled on. "Stupid of me not to have asked you already. We've just been so slammed at work with all the Christmas party bookings and everything. Damn."
"Snooze and you lose," quipped Andre. Never had I wanted to kill a friend quite so much. Strangle him with tinsel or something equally fitting for the festive season.
"Okay," said Jean, still a little hesitant. "That would be great. Thank you. We accept your kind invitation."
"Excellent." Andre leaned down and kissed her on the cheek again. Bastard. "I've got to keep going, but I'll see you later."
"Bye." Jean stared after him, wistfully or something. Whatever it was, I didn't like it. "Eric, wasn't that nice of him?"
I grunted.
She slipped one of her fingers into Ada's tiny grip. "We've got a hot date, baby girl."
I was going to smother the son of a bitch to death in his sleep. Either that or insist he join me on the celibacy wagon. Death or abstinence, the man had a choice.
All right, so maybe there was a little jealousy. Maybe Nell was right that I sucked at being just friends. But I gritted my teeth and held back the venomous snipe at Andre burning on the tip of my tongue. Fake it 'til you make it and all that. One thing was for certain, this personal growth thing hurt.
"Come to my folks' place with me, Christmas Day," I blurted out. "You should ... yeah. No reason to spend the day on your own. Mom would love having you and Ada there. Also, she's a great cook."