Dear Ida,
I’ve considered your advice. Thank you. I have agreed to a dinner date with the handsome fellow, who’s British I might add. His accent alone does wonders for my libido, but that’s another story altogether.
Since the dinner is tomorrow night, I was wondering what you think I should wear. I mean … He’s expecting a date, even though I told him it’s not, but I can’t deny that I’d like to feel pretty while sitting opposite him at a table.
I guess it’s more the fact that I know he could have any girl he wants. And that makes me less confident about me. Which I know you’ll probably shout at me for, but I feel nervous. I’m not sure why. But I do.
So, I’m thinking something classic—an LBD perhaps. It’s not overly sexy, yet it gives off a sensual and sophisticated look. Something I don’t always portray since I’m more of a sneakers and jeans kind of girl.
Nervous in Brooklyn
Once I hit send, I shut my laptop and sit back with my glass of wine. I hope the alcohol will help me calm down. But I know nothing will ease the nerves that are slowly twisting in my belly.
I tap out my yes to Colton, expecting him to call with a response, but my phone doesn’t ring, and for a moment, I wonder if he’s out at a nightclub with another girl.
My stomach tightens, and it’s no longer the nerves of the date, bothering me. It’s the fact that jealousy has taken hold of me. I have no claim on the man, he just someone I met a few times, and he’s offered to take me to dinner.
Nothing more.
Then why do I feel like it’s so much more?
11
Colton
By the time I fell into bed last night, I was knackered. Nothing made sense, and all I could think about was sleeping, wishing a certain beautiful woman was beside me. When I woke up this morning, I found a reply from Violet. I feel bad that I didn’t respond to her, but it was after one in the morning before I closed my eyes.
The coffee I’m currently holding doesn’t seem to be doing much to keep me awake, and I’m thankful I’m able to spend the day in bed if I need to. I open my messages and smile at her words.
Violet: Yes. Dinner, not a date. Nothing more than that.
She clearly wanted me to know she’s focused on eating, not me, which I will respect. For now. Her fire and sass do things to every inch of my body, like make me want to pin her against the goddamned wall and steal her lips with a kiss.
I wasn’t lying to her when I told her my mother taught me well. And when I lost her to cancer, I changed. I became colder, less affectionate. I focused solely on myself. Even Simon saw the flip in me, and he tried to give me advice, which only angered me.
I was a shitty friend for a long time until I realized that she wouldn’t want me to be an arsehole. My mother was loving, kind, and she brought me up to be a good man. Even though she hasn’t been around for a good six years, I try to make her proud by making sure my career is my main priority. The only thing I can’t show her is that I’m happy with a beautiful woman.
My dad died when I was younger. A mining accident. And my mother raised me singlehandedly. She was everything to me, and I know what it’s like to be on your own and struggle. I was there. I watched her go through it.
But she was strong. And I know the woman I finally settle down with one day in the far future will be strong in her convictions, just like my mother was.
I hit respond.
Colton: I reckon it’s a date. You’re just too shy to say otherwise.
I take two sips of my coffee before I get another message.
Violet: I’m not shy. And you took a long time to respond. I figured you’d have changed your mind about *dinner*.
She adds two emojis on either side of the word dinner, which makes me chuckle. I have a feeling she’s trying to fish for information. Last night, I worked until midnight. Blythe kept us on set until the final shots were done.
I took a cab home while the crew went to Lush to party it up. Since we aren’t working today, they tried to convince me that a party was in order. Normally, I would’ve gone. I have never been someone to refuse a good piss up, as I call it back home. But for some reason, all I could think about was getting to bed so that I’m awake and ready for tonight.