The icy anger and command in his voice had Purity not doubting for a moment that he would see it done. Though, she didn’t want to think what he would do to punish the person or the consequences of it.
“I don’t want my clan to fear you. Fear doesn’t instill loyalty or respect and I want my clan to be loyal to you and respect you enough that they would pick up a sword without hesitation and fight by your side,” she said.
“Perhaps it would be better if you lead your clan. Your kind nature alone would instill loyalty and respect. I have no such kindness in me.”
“I believe you do. I believe it retreated and hid so that it could survive against the brutality you were forced to endure, and one day it will come out of hiding.” She would pray hard for it to be so.
“You mean I was forced to inflict,” he corrected.
“Forced would be the most important word here.”
“I could have refused, kept my honor, my respect,” he argued.
“And died,” Purity said a shiver racing through her at the thought. “I preferred that you survived—at any cost.”
Silence settled around them and Purity’s eyes began to close.
“Purity.”
“Aye,” she said, her name stirring her from the sleep that cradled her.
“Your father is a fool for not recognizing how beautiful you are.”
She yawned. “That’s kind of you to say, Arran, but I accepted long ago how plain I am.”
Arran wanted to strangle her father for what he’d done to Purity, though more so what he hadn’t done. He hadn’t loved his daughter the way he should have. He had ignored her and worse he had allowed others to say hateful things to her. He never protected her. He wondered how he’d keep himself from strangling the man when they returned home.
He rested his head back against the door. It annoyed him that his thought had been on sealing their vows and he had given no consideration to how she must feel after the day’s event. What was even worse was that it was his own growing desire to couple with her more than sealing their vows that had driven his decision.
He rubbed his chin, his annoyance growing. His wife appealed to him far too much, though why that concerned him, he didn’t know? After all, she was his wife. So what was wrong with him finding her appealing?
The answer was obvious and he didn’t like it. It made him no different than her father. He had paid her no heed before now. He, like most, had ignored her, never really looking at her and seeing her. So much so, that he hadn’t even recognized her when he had first seen her. She had changed some, but not enough that he should have failed to recognize her.
His wife possessed a rare type of beauty, the kind that comes with an unselfish heart and soul. The kind that gives freely. The kind who cares equally for animals and humans. The kind that no matter how much unkindness she suffers, she still possesses the ability to love.
A tug in his chest had him scowling and rubbing at the spot, and the sudden thought that struck him shocked him.
I care for her.
He shook his head. He couldn’t allow himself to care again. It did no good. It only brought endless pain and suffering. And God knows he had had enough of both these last few years. He would guard her, keep her safe, and treat her well. It was the closest to caring he could give her, since it seemed like long ago he’d lost the ability to love anyone.
They had left the cottage a couple of hours ago and her heart was still heavy over leaving there. She had left far more behind than what she took with her. She had finally found a place she felt content and welcomed. The forest had embraced her like a loving parent and she had never felt so accepted, so loved.
“It hurts you leaving there,” Arran said, having seen the tears she had tried to hide from him and the sorrow that showed in the slump of her shoulders, the frown on her lips, the tight knit of her brow. She was unhappy and it disturbed him more than he should have let it.
Purity nodded. “It has been the only place I could truly call home. The only place I’ve ever felt loved.”
“I wish I could love you.” The words sounded harsh to his ears, but it was better he was truthful with her, then pepper her with falsehoods or worse—hope.
His words hurt, but she wouldn’t let him know it. “You’ve made that clear, Arran.” Her next thought raced from her mouth before she could stop it. “That doesn’t mean I can’t love you.”
Arran was quick to halt his steps, Purity following suit, and issued a command, “You will not love me.”