I smiled and leaned in to brush my nose against his. “You know, I think we should probably give in. We don’t stand a chance if the whole world is conspiring.”
“Sweetheart, I didn’t stand a chance from the moment I looked at you.”
CHAPTER 33
Hudson
The last week had been grueling.
Though yesterday morning had been the worst. I was due to get my DNA results at 9AM, but the lab was running late. Stella had stuck around to be with me when I found out, but she’d had a lunch meeting with a vendor she couldn’t miss. Which had turned out to be for the best, because I cried like a damn baby when they finally called around noon and confirmed that my little girl…wasn’t actually mine.
By the time Stella came over in the evening, I was numb—and piss drunk. I’d passed out by nine o’clock, which was probably why I’d been awake since 3AM now, staring up at the ceiling.
How the hell was I going to look into Charlie’s eyes knowing she wasn’t mine? I’d feel like a fucking fraud lying to her. She was only six, but I was always honest with her. I wanted her to trust my word, like I had my father’s. And now that was all ruined. I kept thinking about a conversation we’d had a few months ago. She’d told me she hadn’t broken the handle off of a kitchen cabinet—one I’d often caught her using as a step stool to reach the counter.
Because of the way the screw was bent, I knew she’d been lying to me. So I sat her down and explained that no matter how bad a situation was, lying about it was always worse than whatever you were trying to cover up. That night, she’d come to me with the truth and told me her stomach hurt. I was pretty sure guilt had twisted her little belly into a knot. I was about to have a gaping ulcer from the lie I would be covering up.
About 6AM the sun started to stream in through the bedroom window. A ray of sunlight cut a thin line across Stella’s beautiful face, and I turned on my side to watch her sleep. She looked so peaceful, which gave me some comfort since I knew the last few weeks had been as stressful for her as they had for me. I couldn’t imagine how she’d felt the moment she put the crazy puzzle together. It must’ve been a lot like I felt right now, as if the bottom had dropped out of my world, and I no longer had footing to stand on.
As if she sensed me watching her, her eyes fluttered open.
“What are you doing?” she asked groggily.
“Enjoying the view. Go back to sleep.”
Her lips curved in a sleepy smile. “How long have you been up?”
“Not too long.”
She grinned. “Hours then, huh?”
I chuckled. The difficulty with soul mates was that when you shared a bond unlike anything you’d experienced with another human, they were pretty good at calling bullshit when you tried to hide your heartache.
I brushed a lock of hair from her face. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you this last week.”
“Without me, you wouldn’t have had the worst week of your life.”
I shook my head. “It would’ve come out someday. You can run from lies, but the truth always catches up to you.”
She sighed. “I guess.”
“I think I’ve decided how I’m going to handle things with my ex-wife.”
“You have?”
I nodded. “I think it’s best that I continue not to say anything to Lexi.”
“Oh…wow. Okay. How did you come to that decision?”
“The most important thing is that Charlie not be hurt. I’m the only father she’s ever known, and right now she’s too young to deal with finding out everything in her life is a lie. She needs stability, routine, and predictability—not for me to upend things just to ruin my ex-wife. Lexi wants child support and alimony from me. Jack does well these days, but he can’t afford the cushy life I foot the bill for—trust me. So I think it’s best she thinks she’s keeping some big secret. If she knew I knew, she’d feel financially threatened, and I wouldn’t put it past her to be spiteful and tell a six-year-old her father isn’t really her father.”
I rubbed Stella’s arm. “I texted Jack earlier to let him know, because it felt like the right thing to do. He said biology doesn’t make a family and she’s mine. He doesn’t sound interested in trying to push into Charlie’s life. I despise the guy, but he’s right. Charlie’s my daughter, no matter what the biology says. Not having my DNA doesn’t change that. Someday when she’s older and ready…” I started to get choked up. “I’ll tell her she’s not mine.”