Jesus, that scared the hell out of him.
Reed did his best to calm the rising fear as they walked past the lobby area and wound down another hallway. At the very end, he pushed open a heavy wooden door leading to the solarium he’d found earlier after his head-clearing walk. He breathed a mental sigh of relief to find it empty, save the plush furniture and bookcases full of reading material. Rain pelted the glass ceiling, the reason he’d specifically chosen this particular room to bring Julie. He closed the door behind them, locked it, and watched her wander through the room, taking it in. Even he, who admittedly didn’t know a damn thing about romance, could appreciate the atmosphere. Soft lamplight, the smell of leather, no sound except the falling rain. Even so, her stiff posture remained. He took a deep breath and waited for her to see the blanket and deck of cards he’d laid out in front of the window.
Julie paused at the edge of the flannel. “What’s this?”
“I...uh…” He crossed to her, sat down on the floor. “I thought we could play go fish. Since it’s raining outside and all.”
Reed could feel her staring at the top of his head, but he couldn’t look up at her, instead busying himself shuffling the deck of cards he’d purchased at the gift shop. Damn it, he’d put himself out there with this plan. It could very well be all wrong. Who’s to say she wanted to remember her sister this way? Doing something they, as sisters, had shared exclusively? Who’s to say she wanted him to be a part of that? Reed braced for the worst, fearing her rejection. If she walked out now, he didn’t know if he’d recover. So he waited. When she plopped down in front of him, shifting slowly into a cross-legged position, he couldn’t prevent a tiny sigh of relief from escaping.
When he started to deal the cards, Julie stopped him with a hand on his. “Wait.” Her voice sounded husky. “I have to cut the deck. With my eyes closed. It’s tradition.”
“Okay.”
Their gazes locked for a heavy moment, before her eyelids slid down to cover the blue eyes he missed immediately. She lifted the top half of the deck, nodding to indicate he should place the bottom half over it, which Reed did before taking back the deck. He didn’t take his eyes off her the entire time. Couldn’t. She looked so incredibly soft sitting in the dim light, shadows cast by the swaying trees outside playing over her face. With her dress spread out around her on the floor, looking like something out of a fairy tale, it took every ounce of Reed’s willpower not to drag her across the blanket. As a child, he’d never had quiet moments like this. It struck him then that while he’d arranged this for her, to commemorate the anniversary of Serena’s passing, it seemed to be filling some long-empty void inside him as well.
“You’re not allowed to let me win. Serena always let me win.”
Reed thought for a moment. “How do you throw a game of go fish? It all depends on the cards you’re dealt.”
Julie picked up the cards Reed tossed in front of her. “She’d ask me for cards she knew I didn’t have. Cards she already held, I suppose. I’d tell her to ‘go fish’ so many times, she’d have her whole hand full after five turns. I’d always run out first.” She smoothed her hand over the blanket. “I knew the whole time, but I never said anything. I liked winning. Isn’t that silly? Two girls sitting there, playing a pointless game when the outcome had already been determined?”
When her breath hitched on the last word, he knew she was rambling to hide her emotions. Again, he quashed the need to comfort physically and focused on what she’d said. “It’s not silly. You were both giving each other what you needed. The game was just an excuse to accomplish that.”
Julie frowned, shook her head. “I’m the one who got to win. What did Serena get out of it?”
“She got to spend time with you.” Her eyes widened in a way Reed couldn’t interpret. The reaction made him want to backpedal. Make a joke. But he heard Colton in his head. Tell her what you’re thinking, even if it sounds stupid. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Why do you think she loved the rain so much, pixie? It meant spending time with her little sister.”
Chapter Seventeen
Julie stared across the blanket at Reed, his words hanging in the air between them. A dozen thoughts swam in her mind at once. I must not have been that terrible after all. If Serena suffered through rainstorms and boring card games just to be with me. She’d had no idea until this moment that most of her insecurities stemmed from her distorted view of their times together. Her guilt had warped her point of view over the years. At that moment, instead of remembering her own whining and complaining during the card games, memories of them laughing hysterically, sharing confidences, pigging out on caramel corn, rolled through her consciousness as if projected on a movie screen. The rain pelting the glass in the quiet room made the memories come alive. She’d forgotten the good Serena brought out in her, only recognizing where she lacked. Where she differed from the perfection of her sister’s memory.
Was it possible she’d been selling herself short? Was she enough on her own? Just the mere possibility felt like lead weights toppling from her shoulders.
Julie came back to herself then, her surroundings returning in sharp focus. Reed, tuxedo-wearing Reed, watched her silently, a handful of cards tapping against his polished wingtip shoe, face partially obscured by shadows. Not shadowed enough for her to miss the intensity of his expression. He looked almost harsh in his attractiveness. The elegant attire suited him too well. She was suddenly thankful he didn’t wear suits and ties to work like the other men. He’d be beating the women off with a stick.
Her gaze dropped to the blanket they sat on, one he’d put here specifically for her. To help her remember Serena. Such a simple gesture, and yet he would never know the impact it had. He’d started the ball rolling with his speech in the forest, and now for the first time in four years, breathing came easy. She didn’t feel that insatiable need to find a task to occupy her mind, to relentlessly prove her worth. Could just sit there and be. With Reed. Yes, she wanted so badly to be with Reed. For as long as she could.
“Julie, I’m starting to get worried over here.”
Laughter bubbled up in her throat as she launched herself across the blanket. Into his arms. He closed them around her tightly, releasing a shaky sigh against her neck.
“Thank you. For this.”
“Oh, good.” His body eased of tension. “You like it.”
“Yes. Of course.” She inhaled Reed’s scent from his collar. “I love it.”
When his fingers slid through her hair and pulled her back to meet his gaze, Julie leaned into his touch. Drawn to it. Craving it. Her mind, suddenly clear of gray fog, was on a high. At that moment, it became imperative that Reed share it with her. This man she cared about. This man who obviously cared about her to some degree, as well. Whatever their differences, whatever the future held, she needed him so badly her hands began to shake with the need to be touched. His hard body hummed with life beneath her, solid and warm. He felt her transformation. She could tell. The rise and fall of his chest gave him away, the way his mouth opened on her neck, hands tightening on her lower back.
“Reed,” she murmured, finding his mouth, throwing every ounce of feeling within her body into the kiss. At the same time, her hands gripped his lapels and dragged the jacket from his broad shoulders. “I need you.”
“You have me, baby.” He watched her nimble fingers work his buttons with hot, anticipation-filled eyes. “You fucking have me.”
“Here.” She ripped open his shirt, revealing a rigid wall of muscle. “I need you right here.”
“Christ. Anywhere.” His hands slid up her thighs to disappear beneath her dress. Julie whimpered when he pressed his middle finger through the silk of her panties into her opening. She could feel the material grow damp as the heel of h
is hand ground over her clitoris. “You’re going to take me right here. All of me. Where you’re so tight and hot it makes me angry. Aren’t you, baby?”
“Yes.” Julie’s head fell back in surrender. With her current sharp focus, she could practically feel everything click into place with his demands. Reasons didn’t matter. Only the sense of completion she felt when he took her over. “I’m going to take you. Where I’m t-tight.”
Reed tore her panties, groaning a harsh sound. “Unzip my pants. I want to see myself in your hand.” She lowered his fly and his erection came free, thick and ready. Biting her lip to keep from moaning, she gripped him in her hand and stroked him root to tip. Reed threw back his head and growled at the ceiling. “That’s my girl. Now guide me between your legs. I’m going to go fucking crazy watching you put me where you need me. You’re clenching tighter just thinking about me filling you. Aren’t you?”
Her thoughts blurred momentarily, then crystalized, centered on the pulse beating at the juncture of her thighs. His erection felt hard and heavy in her hand. With a moan of pleasure, she dragged him through the wetness at her core, circling the head around the bundle of nerves pleading for satisfaction. She took the condom he offered from his pocket and rolled it down his length quickly. The undeniable need to encourage him assailed her. To let him know the effect he had on her body in the way she knew he needed. Eyes locked with his, she sank her teeth into her lower lip. “I want to ride it hard, Reed. Tell me to ride it hard.”
He took her chin between his thumb and index finger, tipping her face toward him. “Hard is the only way you ride it. Ever. Is that clear, Julie?”
She lowered herself onto him in answer, gasping at the delicious fullness. Her shaking thighs tightened around his waist until she got used to his size, then her hips began to rock. Hands clutching his shoulders for balance, she spread her thighs wide, bucking and swiveling mindlessly. Ceasing to think. His name became a litany on her lips, interrupted only when his fingers dug into the flesh of her ass so roughly she cried out. Her orgasm blasted through her in a rush, strengthening her even as it weakened her muscles and limbs.