And now I’m done, I can’t help but be utterly satisfied – except for one thing.
One thing that, despite my best efforts, has been niggling away at me for all of this time, leaving me unable to get it out of my head.
“Finn,” I say, trying to be gentle because I don’t want to ruin everything when it’s going so well. “You know, you didn’t have to do all of this.”
“I told you that I would make it special,” he says, leaning over to touch my hand on the table. “That’s what this is.”
“Hmm.” I glance around and lower my voice, not wanting to be overheard. “It’s just… as much as I’m grateful, it seems a little… excessive, don’t you think? All of this wining and dining? You could have bought me one dress, taken me to a less flashy restaurant.”
“Didn’t you enjoy it?” Finn asks, sounding a little hurt.
“Of course, I enjoyed it,” I say, flashing him a smile. “I really did. But, Finn… I can’t help but wonder if there’s an ulterior motive behind all of this. Some other reason that you haven’t told me about.”
“Alright,” Finn says, laying his napkin on the table. “You caught me.”
“Caught you?” I repeat, feeling more worried than ever now. “What do you mean?”
Finn sighs. “I just wanted to show you what life could be like with me,” he says. “Of course, we’re not going to eat out somewhere like this every single night, but it could still be a regular thing. A closet full of designer dresses, a driver to take you anywhere you want to go – you won’t even need to work. Candy, I could do all of this for you. This and more.”
“I already knew you were… well-off,” I tell him, feeling a little dirty to be talking about money so openly like this.
“Yes,” Finn says, and pauses. “But I needed you to know what you’d be giving up if you decided, after this weekend, not to go any further. I needed you to know how comfortable you could be. How your life could change, forever.”
“I know what I’d be giving up,” I say, almost unable to believe what I’m hearing. “You. Our relationship. I didn’t get into this because you have money, Finn. It’s because of you.”
He looks at me in silence for a moment. “I didn’t know if that would be enough,” he says.
“So, you thought you’d bribe me?” I ask. “You thought that if I saw how much money you could spend on me, I would decide to stay with you only for that reason? That’s how shallow you think I am?”
“Candy,” Finn starts, reaching over the table towards me. He looks taken aback, a little confused; he can’t have thought that I would be fine with that characterization?
“No,” I say, drawing back away from his reach and picking up my purse from the floor. “No, Finn, that’s all you think of me? I have more integrity than that. I can’t just be bought. I wanted to be with you because of our genuine connection. If you can’t see that…” I shake my head and get up from the table. I’m stunned by all of this. How could he really think so little of me? I thought we had an instant connection, but it seems like he doesn’t know me at all.
And I gave up my best friend for this. If she finds out we went away together, she might never forgive her father. I gave up her happiness for this.
How could I have been so selfish and stupid?
Finn tries to say something, but I shake my head and walk away from the table, striding towards the exit in my newly-bought high heels. I can’t even say that my shoes aren’t his. I made a big mistake coming here this weekend – but the best thing I can do now is not to let it continue.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Finn
As soon as I get over my shock, I stand up from my chair with a crash, rushing over to the front of where the waiters gather the bills and take payments. I almost throw my credit card at the man behind the desk, glancing behind me out of the windows as I do – through the dark glass I can just see her, but as he prepares the bill, I see her move out of range.
“Just take the payment,” I snap, rushing away. “I’ll send my driver in to collect my card.”
With that I’m out, pushing, almost knocking over another customer as I rush to get outside. I see Bernard leaning against a telephone pole, enjoying a cigarette, and snap out an instruction. “Go and get my credit card and make sure they’ve taken payment,” I tell him. “Then bring the car. Hurry!”
With that, I race on, down the street, dodging people out for a late evening stroll as I aim for her figure in the distance, still not far away enough that I’m worried I’ve lost her.