I’d never be as strong as her.
Never.
“Drugs!” She said after the umpteenth contraction. The nurse had just returned after an hour to check her progress. She flipped up Jeannine’s gown, and her eyes widened. “Please,” Jeannine said. “I’ll take the drugs now.”
The nurse shook her head. “Sorry,” she said. “You’ve fast-tracked. You’re at a ten. There is no time.”
Jeannine whimpered.
“Isn’t there something we can give her?” I snapped, never letting go of her hand. “Something to help? Are you sure she’s at a ten? It’s only been an hour!”
The nurse shot me a look that screamed are you fucking kidding me?
I swallowed hard, flashing her an apologetic look.
She nodded and called the doctor.
Turning my focus to Jeannine, I smiled at her, gently stroking her forehead. “It’s almost over. You’re doing so amazing. And we’re about to meet our baby.”
“But it hurts!” She growled. “I feel like I’m being split open while on fire.”
I flinched, my heart breaking because I couldn’t take that pain from her. “No one is stronger than you,” I said. “You’ve got this. And it will be over soon.” I eyed the nurse, who nodded again as the doctor came inside.
“Okay,” she said, sitting on a rolling stool in front of Jeannine’s wide-open legs. “Looks like we only need a few good pushes. I can already see the head.”
My heart stopped and raced and then sputtered from the confusion.
I held onto Jeannine as much for support as she was me.
“Can you do that for me, Jeannine?” The doctor asked.
Jeannine nodded.
“Okay, try to push and hold it for twenty seconds.”
Another nod, and then she pushed.
My fierce, incredible woman pushed. A low groan rumbled from her chest, but she fucking rose to every challenge.
This one would not sway her.
“Perfect,” the doctor said, encouraging her to do another one.
Jeannine did, and I felt myself tensing with her, wishing I could give her all my strength.
“Almost there, Jeannine.” The doctor glanced up at her. “One more good one and we should be done.”
“Okay, okay.” She breathed through her words and then clenched her eyes shut.
The longest twenty seconds of my life.
Every fear and worry shot through my mind like knives of ice as I heard nothing but silence fill the room.
Then…
A tiny, little wail of a cry.
The breath rushed from my lungs.
The nurse helped Jeannine pull the top of her gown down, and the doctor rushed to place a small, dripping with goop, red ball of a baby against her bare chest. My jaw was unhinged as I watched the exchange. Watched as Jeannine let go of my hand to cradle our baby against her, tears streaming down her eyes.
“Hi baby,” she said. “It’s okay,” she cooed. “It’s okay.”
The nurse smiled at me as she shuffled around the pair, taking measurements, sucking gunk out of the baby’s nose, and handing me a pair of scissors to cut the cord. Every motion flew by in a haze as I could barely take my eyes off…
My daughter.
“We have a daughter.” My eyes coated with unshed tears.
“We do,” Jeannine said, smiling up at me.
She was so beautiful.
Both of them.
In the instant that the baby stopped wailing and looked at me, I knew.
I was no longer tethered to this world by my own accord.
A tiny, eight-pound little girl owned my soul with one look.
And she became the center of my universe.
Chapter 11
Jeanine
I laid the warm bundle that was my daughter in the bassinet next to our bed. Three days old and she was already an amazing sleeper, only waking up to eat. I knew from Bailey—who had too many sleepless nights to count from Ethan—that it was a godsend.
I tiptoed out of the room, closing the soft cotton robe around my swollen breasts. Breastfeeding had come naturally, but I was still getting used to the soreness. The nurses assured me the pain would lessen after a few weeks.
“Everything go okay?” Warren asked from his position perched on the edge of the couch. He was sorting laundry in front of his seventy-inch tv, which was on mute. I couldn’t believe how many burp rags and onesies and cloth diapers we’d gone through already, and it was only day three.
I smiled and sank on the couch beside him, only slightly flinching at the contact. I was healing perfectly and was certain by the end of the week I’d be back to normal. Or, as normal as I could be after pushing a baby through my vagina. I chuckled at that thought, shaking my head in my palms.
“What?” Warren asked, grinning as he folded another burp rag and placed it on his growing pile. “Something funny about a Shark folding baby clothes?”
I laughed harder at that, nodding. “Well, yes actually.” I reeled it in. “But I…I just can’t believe I’m a mom. It’s still sinking in, you know?”
He reached over and smoothed his hand down my back. “I know, but you’re so great at it.”
I snorted. “So far. It’s easy right now. All I have to do is be a cow on demand.”
He laughed. “There is way more to it than that,” he said, continuing to fold. “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes when you’re with her.” He shook his head, his eyes wide. “It’s incredible.”
“Me?” I gaped. “You!” I nudged his massive bicep, savoring the warmth from his body. “I never knew you had it in you.”
“Me either,” he admitted. “But I’m so glad. I’m just so damn happy, Nine.”
A thrill went through my overly exhausted body, waking my brain up like a shot of adrenaline. I leaned closer to him, nuzzling the stubble across his jaw. He set another onesie down and shifted on the couch the wrap his arms around me.
I tilted my chin upward, grazing my lips over his. He gently swiped his tongue against mine, and I sighed between his lips. Between giving birth and feedings and adjusting to my new instincts of being a mother, we hadn’t had much time for…this.
He fingered the strands of my hair, scraping his nails gently against my scalp. I practically purred as I pressed closer to him, wanting to feel his strong, solid body on mine.
“Warren,” I said, whispering between kisses that became more urgent. My heart raced, my tired body working overtime to keep up with the desire that sizzled my blood.
“Nine,” he said, smiling as he pulled back slightly.
“I know, I know,” I said, chiding myself. “I can’t help it.”
“Trust me, I can’t either,” he said. “How long do we have to wait again?”
“Six weeks.”
“Ouch.” He flinched but replaced the move with a comforting smile. “It’s good though,” he said. “You need to catch up on sleep anyway.”
I chuckled. “I do feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.”
He kissed me quickly before standing. He scooped me off the couch, cradling me to his chest. “How about I put you to bed,” he said, walking us quietly toward our room. “Then I’ll finish the laundry.”
“You are the perfect man,” I whispered against his neck, squeezing him tight.
He was near silent as he entered our room and gave the bassinet plenty of space as he walked around it. Laying me down, he tugged the covers over my body and kissed my forehead. “Sleep for the few hours you have before feeding time,” he whispered, holding back a laugh.
Thank you, I mouthed the words, my eyelids already half closed.
He smiled at me before walking toward the door. He paused by the bassinet, his gaze lingering on our daughter. My heart stuttered at the way he looked at her, at the life we’d created together. The way he had pride and love and complete wonder in his eyes…it made my entire body feel complete.
He winked at me when he caught me looki
ng at him, and I shut my heavy eyes as he softly closed the bedroom door behind him.