"To hell with that," he said, pulling me tighter against him.
I snuggled close, my emotions close to the surface. My desire to get even closer to him palpable.
"It's the same, you know," I finally said, my voice breathy.
"What is?"
"The kind of rush I felt today at Neely's. The kind of rush I got when I shoplifted. It's the same as the way I feel when you're inside me." I propped myself up to see him better. "You make me feel alive, Evan. You make me feel like me." It was true. I could be myself with Evan. No secrets. No holding back. I'd never understood what it meant to be free until I was in his arms. "Do I make you feel that way, too?" I asked. He gave me such a gift simply by being himself, and right then I wanted more than anything to know that I did the same for him. That I could give him a gift of such profound pleasure, too.
"Do you make me feel that way?" he said. "God, Lina, don't you know? You are the biggest rush of my life. The biggest thrill. The wildest ride. You are everything I always wanted, and everything I thought I didn't deserve. You are exceptional. You are beautiful. You are mine. And I love you."
I blinked, then realized that I was crying. "Could you say that again, please?"
His grin spread wide. "I love you," he said as he slid down my body trailing kisses over bare flesh. "Would you like me to show you just how much?"
I laid back, my arms and legs wide, my body completely open to him. "Yes," I said, grinning happily. "Very much, yes."
twenty-one
We drove out to Evanston the next morning to have Sunday brunch with Ivy. I ate too much, played too hard in the sun, and spent the drive back feeling sleepy and satisfied.
"I need to take care of some things at Destiny," Evan said. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not. I can pack while you're gone. But I'm still fixing you dinner tonight, right? My plane leaves at eight in the morning, so I really want the night with you."
"You got it," he said. "Your return flight's on Wednesday?"
I nodded. I'd decided that I needed to tell my parents my decision in person. And since I felt more comfortable on familiar territory, I wanted to go this week while they were staying in our California house.
"I'll be back by seven," Evan promised as he dropped me at the condo. I changed into jeans and a T-shirt, then took a taxi to Fox & Obel and returned with two full shopping bags. More food than we needed, I was sure, but I wanted everything to be perfect.
I'd just set one of the bags down so that I could punch the elevator call button when Kevin stepped into the lobby.
"Let me get that for you," he said, picking up the bag.
"It's fine. I have it." I grabbed the bag up. "What do you want, Kevin?"
"We need to talk."
"I don't think we have anything to talk about."
He pulled out his badge. "Yeah," he said. "We do."
"I--oh." A wave of fear shot through me. Did he know about Neely? Did he know about the manuscript? I worked to keep my voice steady. "What's this about?"
"Your boyfriend," he said, his voice hard. "Let's talk upstairs."
I nodded, mute, then followed him onto the elevator. In the condo, I headed straight for the kitchen, hoping to use that time to gather myself, but when I came back to the living room, I didn't feel gathered at all. I sat stiffly in a chair, stared at him, and told him to cut to the chase.
"I can nail the bastards," he said without preamble.
"Who?"
"Don't even pretend not to understand me," he said. "Evan Black, Tyler Sharp, and Cole August." He spat each name, and my heart twisted a little with each one.
"Nail them?" I asked, trying to sound a little bored and a lot confident. "For what exactly?"
"For violating the Mann Act," he said, his words chilling me.
I wanted to tell him that I didn't have a clue what the Mann Act was, but that would be a lie. My father had been on too many task forces, and he'd spent too many hours talking with my mother about using the Mann Act to combat white slavery.
"What exactly are you suggesting?" I asked icily.
"Those fuckers are transporting prostitutes. They're bringing women across state lines for the purpose of sex. And I have a feeling that once we open the door and dig a little deeper, we'll learn that it's even more insidious than that. White slavery. Drugs. All sorts of shit. They're in deep, Angie. And the longer you stay tied to them, the deeper you sink, too."
I felt light-headed, and realized that I'd been shaking my head almost from the moment he'd started talking. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because you need to know," he said. "And because you're going to help me."
"No." I stood up. "You're wrong. There is no way Evan is tied up in something like that, and I am not going to help you harass him."
"Sit down," he said sharply.
I sat.
"I have a few witnesses who are willing to talk, but I need more."
Witnesses. The word seemed to pulse red in the air. This couldn't be true, so how could he have witnesses?
I realized he'd continued talking. "What?" I blinked at him. "Back up. What?"
"I said I need you, too. You're going to wear a wire."
"The hell I am."
"You're going to talk with your boyfriend," he continued, as if I hadn't said a word. "You're going to get him to admit to you what he's doing--and then you'll see that I'm right."
"You're not," I said. I would never believe that Jahn's knights were into that kind of shit.
Kevin kept talking as if I hadn't said a word. "And the reason that I know you're going to do this is because it all ties back to you. You're dating him, right? That has you mixed up in this mess, too. Not a good place to be, Angie. And it's definitely not a good place for your father to be," he added, the words sending a chill up my spine. "Not when he's making a bid for the vice presidency. The press gets hold of something like this, and it won't be pretty."
"You unimaginable bastard."
"I'm not the bastard. Evan is. Him and his friends." He stood up. "I'll be back tomorrow. I want your answer then. And, Angie," he said, "it had better be yes."
I stayed in the chair as he let himself out, and I was still there hours later when Evan arrived. I didn't even hear Peterson let him in. I didn't even realize he was in the condo until he sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of me.
I'd drawn a blanket around me, but even beneath the flannel, I was cold and numb.
"Are you sick?" Evan asked, leaning in to press a warm hand against my forehead.
I shook my head. "They want me to wear a wire," I said, and I watched his shoulders droop with understanding.
"Kevin," he said. "That goddamn little prick."
"He says you're into prostitution. That you're violating the Mann Act. That I have to watch you--to spy on you. And he says that if I don't, my father's going to get dragged into this."
He slid off the table to kneel in front of me, his expression gentle. "Baby," he said. "We can fix this."
I shook my head, then met his eyes. "This could destroy my dad."
He looked at my warily. "What are you doing, Lina?"
"What I have to," I said. "What I can."
"Tell me."
"I'm going to California, just like I planned. And I'm going to call Kevin on the way and tell him you dumped me and that I'm moving to Washington just like I planned. And that means that putting a wire on me wouldn't do him any good. He'll leave my father alone, and if you and the guys can get Destiny cleaned up fast enough, then I bet he'll leave you alone, too."
"Lina, shit." He ran his hands through his hair, and his eyes looked wild and desperate. I kind of envied him that. I only felt numb.
"Sweetheart, listen to me." He took my hands and squeezed them tight. "You're not being punished. This isn't a case of the bad shit happening after you go a little wild. You don't have to pay penance. We can work it out."
I leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you," I said. "And I know it's not punishment. I do, really." I pressed my palm to his cheek. "You of all people should get it."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's like what you did for your mom and Ivy. You made huge sacrifices for them, and you did it because you loved them. Well, I love you. I love my dad. And I can't live with the thought of knowing that I didn't do everything in my power to keep both of you safe."