"I remember."
"I was a wreck."
"I remember that, too," he said, and I nodded agreement. Evan and Tyler and Cole had spent at least as much time at the hospital as I had, and I'd been grateful whenever our visits had overlapped because I'd soaked up their strength and claimed it for my own.
"I can't recall any of the details of those days. They're a blur. But the moment that they said he crossed the line--that he was okay--I had to get out of there. I had to just go, you know? Because all of that fear and worry that I'd been holding inside while I paced the hospital and waited was poisoning me. I had to get it out. And I--well, I kind of stole a diamond bracelet."
His scarred brow lifted. "All right," he said. "You have my attention."
"I got away with it, or so I thought. But it turns out there were security cameras. It took them over a month, but they caught me."
I shuddered, remembering how mortified I'd been when the cops had confronted me in the condo lobby on April Fool's Day. Jahn had been home from the hospital about a week, but he hadn't yet been cleared to go back to the office. I'd been on my way back from an ice cream run, and they'd taken me away. "I spent the night in jail, and the next day I told Jahn everything--including why I did it."
"Why did you?"
"To feel that rush," I said, looking right at his eyes. "Sometimes, when I needed to let go, when everything just got to be too much for me--well, sometimes that's what I would do."
"I get it," Evan said, and I knew that he needed no further explanation. "So you were in jail," he continued. "What did Jahn do?"
"He moved heaven and earth for me without ever leaving his condo. I think you could probably interview the arresting officers now, and even they'd swear they have no knowledge of me. This is a big year for my dad, what with the talk of him being on the short list to run as VP. That kind of scandal would not have been good."
"And then he changed his will," Evan said, seeing exactly where I was going with this.
"He did," I said. "He left me the notebook. Me, not you. And I think it was his way of telling me that no matter how badly I fucked up, that he still believed in me. That he still trusted and respected me." I shrugged. "I loved that notebook, and he knew it. I guess the bottom line is that I think the bequest was his way of saying that he loved me."
Evan nodded slowly. "Why are you telling me this now?"
I hesitated, taking a moment to draw courage. "Because I wanted you to understand why I'm not going to give it to you. And because--"
"Why?"
"Because
I want three weeks," I announced boldly. "And I thought you deserved the truth before I said so."
"What are you talking about?" He was watching me intently, and there was a small crease above his nose, as if he was concentrating on a particularly knotty problem. That, apparently, would be me.
I sucked in a breath. "I'm moving to Washington. My dad got me a job as a legislative aide. That's why I went to Destiny." My cheeks flamed, which was ridiculous considering all we'd done together in the last few hours. "I wanted to have you. Just once, like I said. I wanted to finish what we started. More than that, I wanted the way you make me feel."
"But?" There was an edge to his voice that I couldn't quite identify.
"But once wasn't enough. Now I want more," I said firmly. "You asked me how high? Well, that's my answer. As high as you can take me before I leave. And who knows--maybe we'll get each other out of our systems."
I was breathing hard, watching him. And, dammit, just thinking about what I was suggesting had turned me on. My nipples were tight behind the terry cloth of the robe, and I was suddenly aware of the heat at the juncture of my thighs.
"No," he said.
I looked up sharply, prepared to protest, but didn't have the chance before he continued.
"No," he repeated. "I don't think you'll ever be out of my system. But as for how high I can take you ..."
I held my breath as he reached out, trailing a finger down the neckline of the robe.
"We've already gone pretty damn far," he whispered. Slowly, he reached out and tugged loose the tie of the robe, then spread the top open, revealing my shoulders and breasts. "But have we gone far enough?" he asked. He brushed the pad of his thumb over my already erect nipple. "You're right, baby. I can take you one hell of a lot further." He took his thumb off my breast and drew it along my lower lip, then thrust it gently into my mouth. I opened for him, sucking and tasting, my eyes closed as I simply reveled in it.
I wanted it--god how I wanted it. Wanted to go completely and totally wild with him. And yet the tightness in my chest was growing. A bone-deep trepidation. Because the more I realized that this was really happening, the more my old fears bubbled up.
Part of me screamed that I was the one that started this, so I needed to just keep my damn mouth shut. But I couldn't help it. All my doubts--all my fears--were once again rising to the surface.
"Evan ..." I trailed off, determined not to go there.
"What?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Just me being stupid." But I didn't quite look at his eyes.
"Hey," he said. "Tell me."
"It's just ...--It's just that I go a little wild and do these things sometimes," I said slowly, feeling foolish since I was the one who'd said I wanted these three weeks, so what was I doing now backing off?
"I mean, I want this--I want you. But ..." I went silent, thinking of Grace who'd died because I'd run off to play wild child one night. Thinking of my night in jail that had come so close to destroying my dad's good name. Hell, even thinking of Evan who'd been attacked in an alley. Because that tied back to me letting go, too.
"Oh, hell. I guess I'm afraid we'd be tempting fate," I said lamely. "Besides, you're not a safe bet, remember?"
"No," he said.
"No?" I repeated, confused.
"No. No thinking, no rationalizing, and absolutely no saying no. I'm a man who gets what he wants, sweetheart, even if I have to take it. So that's what I'm doing. Consider it my present to you. Hell, consider it a going-away present."
"A present," I repeated dumbly.
"One hell of a kick-ass gift," he said firmly. "I'm the one taking responsibility. You're not diving into the rush, I'm pulling you in with me. You're not going wild, I'm just taking you along for the ride. No," he repeated when I opened my mouth to protest. He pressed a soft finger to my lips. "This isn't a subject for debate. It isn't a question. For the next three weeks, we're taking that fall together--all you have to do is surrender."
"That's just semantics," I said, but I couldn't help the flutter of bliss that was growing in my belly. A gift. Maybe. Just maybe ...
"It's not just semantics," he said firmly. "It's a shift in how we look at the world."
I licked my lips, so very tempted.
"Come on, Angie. Fall with me."
I drew in a breath, held his eyes, and made the leap. "You called me Lina on the roof the other day," I said softly. I felt suddenly, unreasonably exposed, and I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Did I? I suppose I thought it suited you." He stroked his palms down my bare shoulders. "Do you like it?"
I hesitated. I should back off. I should say no; I should be Angie. "Yes," I whispered as he closed his fingers over mine. "I liked it."
"Me, too." He stood up, then held out a hand for me. "Come here, Lina," he said, gently pulling me to my feet. The robe hung open, and he pushed it off my arms, leaving me naked.
/> I fought the urge to bend down for the robe, but honestly, it didn't take much effort. I wanted to be naked with this man. I wanted to be wild with him. I wanted to be Lina.
I could do this; I could take these three weeks. Because surely with Evan keeping me tethered, nothing would go horribly wrong.
"Come with me," he said, then led me to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, then guided me on, as well.
I knelt on the mattress, sitting back on my ankles. Then I cocked my head and regarded him playfully. "I'm not sure Lina is quite as compliant as Angie."
His smile was slow and held a touch of victory. "Is that a fact?"
"Mmm."
"Well, what would Lina do?" he asked.
"She'd be bold," I said, as I moved closer. "If she wanted something from a man, she'd just take it." I reached down, and stroked his cock through his slacks, then sucked in air as I felt it turn to steel in response to my touch. "Or maybe she'd just drive him wild," I said, as I slid my hand slowly up and down. "Take him to the edge and then push him over, knowing that she was the one who made him fall."
"Lina." He drew in a noisy breath. He reached out for me, but I shook my head.
"No. Lay back. Lina can be very bossy."
His dimple flashed as he slid down to stretch out on the bed. "That's it," I said as my fingers worked the button and then the zipper. "Lift your ass," I ordered, then tugged his pants down along with his underwear. Once I got him free of the slacks, I got back on the bed, then returned my attention to his cock as I moved to straddle him.
His eyes were opaque with pleasure, and when I dipped my head and ran my tongue over the very tip of his penis, I felt him tremble beneath me. I basked in a glow of feminine pride, knowing that it was my touch that was driving him crazy. That I was making him hard.
I didn't waver in the attention I was paying to his cock, but I did relax my thighs, so that I was sitting on his leg instead of perched above it, and I undulated my body in time with my ministrations to his cock, teasing my clit with each delicious motion and stoking the fire that was already raging inside me.
"Jesus, baby," he said, as I licked his shaft all the way down to where I cupped his balls and then back up to the tip. His body was rigid and tight, as if readying for the explosion that I intended to give him.