“Yeah, well, it’s not going to work out if you don’t even try. You’d be surprised at the stuff people make work if they’re truly dedicated to doing so. One girl, two pairs of brothers, a strong attraction between those two groups, and a friendship between the latter? Sure, it’s not typical, but heck, it might work.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“Then you’ll have learned a life lesson. You’d probably have had a hell of a lot of fun in the meantime. It’s not like an all-or-nothing thing, Grace. If you have only a happy year with the four of them, you’ll remember it forever, no matter where you go. A memory to cherish for a lifetime.”
There was a lot of truth in her words, I had to admit. I would enjoy myself a whole lot for a while. I would carry with me always that for a while I was the sexual goddess for four men at the peak of their lives. A memory they would carry with all of them as well.
Then, well...
The negative. The heartbreak. The fights that could erupt between them. If I caused two brothers to split in a spat over me, I don’t think I would ever be able to forgive myself.
On top of all that... my hands instinctively moved to my abdomen. What would become of this child? Would it be better for them to grow up with a lie and no father, or the thought that their mother could be such a slut?
Was there any hope of being with them for the rest of my days? For them to be father figures?
Would it be weird to have four potential father figures?
Would the guys be into that? I didn’t think so. It was one thing for the twins to share a one-night-stand or to laugh about a big poly relationship involving their friends but reality didn’t work like that.
The word jealousy must have been invented for a good reason.
Stupid brain: it hurt with thoughts of the theoretical.
My phone started to vibrate, illuminating it as it usually did with the name of the caller: Mom.
“Oh, sorry, I gotta cut this short, Kelly. My mom’s calling me. I’d prefer not to make ignoring her another bad habit of mine.”
Kelly nodded. “I hear you, girl. But don’t you be a stranger anymore. You need to sort out the future for you and that baby and I’m here to help. If I have to come to the butt crack of the library to find you again, I’m not going to be pleased.”
She hurried off, and I caught the phone, answering it at the last moment before it diverted to voicemail.
“Hi, Mom.” I leaned back in the chair and waved goodbye to Kelly.
When I got them, my chats with Mom could get very long, so Kelly knew better than to waste her time waiting for me to finish.
“Grace, where have you been? I haven’t seen you around in our new home; for all I know you never made it there, but the twins claim to have seen you.”
“I’m sorry, I just been... uh... distracted. Thinking about my options for the future.”
“Hmm? I thought we were fine with going to Arlington State? What’s making you rethink your choices so late, dear?”
I nibbled on my lip. I wasn’t entirely sure how to explain it. I wasn’t lying. In my endless quest to run away, moving out of state for my degree was an option. It would be painful at first, but part of me wondered if it would be for the best. The problem remained, switching this late may cost me my financial aid and plunge me into some serious student debt. Anything was worth it to avoid the massive heartache that terrified me. And what about the baby? I didn’t think I’d manage on my own, but who could I expect to share the child care with me?
“Ryan and I will help you do what you want to do, dear. We’re here to support you to the fullest, you know.”
“I know, I know... just...”
“It’s going to be so wonderful, dear—an actual bit of normalcy in my life. We’ve had so many Christmases and Thanksgivings alone. Finally, being able to have a family gather around the table, to say grace...”
“Mom, we’re not even that religious.”
“Having the option is very important to me, dear. Oh, the family photos. Your stepfather and I, and then you and your big brothers all sitting in front of the Christmas tree.”
Technically correct. Ryan and Sam were two months older than me, making them my ‘big’ brothers.
“Oh, and we could host our aunts and uncles. Be the stereotypical family. The ideal family for all of them.”
She didn’t mean to do it, but she twisted the knife in me with all the talk of ‘normal.’
The standard nuclear family. One man, one woman, and their children. It had been painted as what we should all strive for.