On the other hand, is it fair to deny her the kind of lifestyle that her dad is willing to offer? There are so many things to consider.
The harder I think the more confused I feel. Vanessa has accused me more than once of overthinking stuff. She’s right but I can’t help it. I like weighing the pros and cons and then weighing them again and again. Not that it’s helping me reach a decision.
I’m home a little earlier than usual. I find Vanessa and Luna in the bathroom making a huge mess. There’s water everywhere and you would think there were ten kids in there from the laughter ringing out. We would miss Vanessa so much. She’s practically Luna’s other mom.
“You two sound like you’re having a lot of fun,” I say as I enter the bathroom. I kiss Luna’s wet cheek.
“We are,” Vanessa says. “But we’re just about done here right, Luna? No crying today.”
“Oh, she won’t,” I say. “Because mama is going to give her a plane ride.”
Luna giggles and stretches her hands out like an airplane. That distracts her and she doesn’t cry when I wrap her in a towel and carry her to the bedroom. As I dry and dress her, Vanessa and I catch up and talk about the day.
We move to the living room and while I play with Luna, Vanessa makes us some coffee.
“Ace asked me to move in with him,” I tell her when she returns with the coffee.
“What did you say?” she says and sinks on the rug next to me.
“I told him I’d think about it,” I say. “I just don’t know what to do. One minute I’m thinking it’s a good idea, Luna can be with her dad every day and get to know him. Then I think, what if things don’t work out?”
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could see into the future?” Vanessa says.
“Your sarcasm is not appreciated,” I tell her and then grow serious. “We would miss you so much.”
“We’d visit each other,” Vanessa says.
I’m surprised by her reaction. My little sister has truly matured.
“Yeah, we would. He lives in a very nice area,” I tell Vanessa.
“I figured.”
“I don’t want to get her used to that lifestyle,” I tell Vanessa all my fears and worries.
“Unfortunately,” Vanessa says when I’m done talking. “No one can reassure you that things will work out. That’s just not the way life works. We have to take risks. Aren’t you the one who told me that?”
I put on an expression of mock horror. “Did I? What must I have been thinking?”
Vanessa rolls her eyes.
“Seriously though,” I say. “It’s different when you have a child. Luna has made me averse to taking risks.” Things I would have done without giving a second thought, now keep me awake at night.
“Yeah, I see why you would change. Decisions are hard though even without a baby. Miles wants us to live together,” Vanessa says.
Now, that takes me by surprise. “I’m sure you said no.”
She stares at me and I groan.
“Vanessa, you guys are always fighting, and you live fifteen miles apart. What will happen if you live together? You’ll kill each other!”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Vanessa snaps. Her irritation tells me that she’s seriously considering moving in with Miles.
I’ve never liked him, but I’ve done a good job of keeping that to myself. I find Miles disrespectful and too casual with life. A drifter, moving from one job to another. He’s always finding issues with his jobs. I haven’t been too worried about it knowing that at some point Vanessa will grow tired of him. But moving in together?
“Where will you live?” I ask her. Miles still lives with his parents in an apartment above the garage. Yeah. That’s another reason why I don’t like him. What kind of grown man still lives in his parents’ garage apartment?
“Well, we were planning on getting an apartment together but if you and Luna decide to move in with Ace, he could move in here. What do you think?”
She looks at me with large hopeful eyes and no matter how much I dislike Miles, I cannot bring myself to say anything negative.
“Miles wants to go into self-employment, but he wants to do a business course before diving into it. Plumbing can be very lucrative,” Vanessa says.
A lot of jobs can be lucrative. It all depends on the person. I don’t, however, voice my thoughts.
“It’s a good thing that Miles wants to go back to school.” That’s the nicest thing I can think of to say. I feel like a bitch, especially because Vanessa is so supportive of Ace and me. I pray that I’m wrong about Miles. I love Vanessa with all of my heart. I just want her to be settled and happy.
“Isn’t it?” Vanessa says and grins.