Before Jack had sealed his wound, the Chariot had roused long enough to teach Jack the Beast's security measures and to decline my medicinal plants.
No matter. I'd injected him with a generous dose, telling him, "Think of Issa. Think of better times to come."
He'd peered up at me with soulful eyes. "Did you kill me? As you did before?" Even after all the shit we'd been through together, he still considered me cold enough to poison him . . . .
I gazed over at Jack's strong profile. My emotions were going haywire, tangling up inside me. I was appalled by what had happened to Kentarch and spooked to my marrow by what I'd glimpsed.
Jack clutched the steering wheel with white knuckles. What must he be thinking about everything? I dreaded his reaction to my pregnancy.
Joules asked, "What did you give Tarch?"
"A sedative-slash-painkiller. Want some?"
He looked interested-slash-skeptical. "Why didn't the Priestess tsunami Richter's arse?"
I debated whether to reveal the truth. But what was the point of pretending? "She's weak. She could barely put up enough of a front to scare the Emperor off." I wondered how a well of wrath would affect her.
"That's just bloody great! How can we fight them? The Emperor's immune to--to everything. And Zara? What are the chances that lightning--me own element--would end up saving her?"
"Freak coincidences are her power. But she's got to be depleted now." Unfortunately, they'd just go hunt survivors for a top-off.
"Depleted? Not before her power did that." Joules waved at Kentarch's arm. "What are the feckin' odds that a flat shard of rock could sever his gun hand clean?"
Jack said, "Right now, I'm more concerned with them finding us again. The Sun must've been the one to tip them off."
Joules snorted. "So much for a man on the inside, Empress."
"Hey, he used a Bagger to warn us about Richter's approach, okay? And then we warned you. So if not for Sol, you'd have one of Zara's missiles up your arse. In any case, I'm sure he has to help them. They're only keeping him alive as long as he's useful to them, which he must know."
Joules asked, "What did Circe tell you about the Hanged Man?"
How to put this without crushing all their hope? "She's researching a weapon to kill him. She told me to go to the coast and wait for word." Kind of. "We'll be safer there from Richter too, closer to big water. As soon as she comes up with a plan, she'll contact us." But with her rate of deterioration, would she be less and less help?
"Where on the coast?" Joules wanted to know.
Have no idea. I thought we should continue our heading for the Outer Banks. "I'll know more when we get there."
"Grand directions, Empress. You'd best plug that into the GPS." He laughed without humor. "Maybe I shouldn't be working to rescue anyone from the Hanged Man. If Jack and me save Death, then we sacrifice ourselves to the Ash--and Gabe too. The Reaper will never share his resources with us."
"Joules, I vow to you that if you help me, Aric will reward you. He'll give you a freaking medal."
"Canna eat a medal. Just want in on that bacon we smelled. Hell, at least Gabe's got food and warm shelter right now. He's thriving there."
Jack said, "Gabe's living with a sword over his neck. He only survives as long as the Hanged Man says. And who is Paul goan to take out first when the food supplies dwindle?" Jack's gaze slid to me. We both knew Aric had set up the castle to sustain people for decades.
As long as the generators had fuel, the Reaper could use those sunlamps to grow crops to feed humans and livestock. Centuries of planning had gone into his home. It was everything to him.
I said, "Look, the bottom line is that Aric's the only Arcana alive who knows how to kill Richter. Understand me: saving Death could mean saving the world."
Joules's gaze darkened until I could all but hear his thoughts: Nothing good comes from Death. "Worst road trip I've ever been on," he muttered, leaning against the door. "Grabbin' a kip. Wake me up when there's even more fun to be had."
How could he sleep at a time like this? Soon his soft snores sounded from the back, effectively leaving me and Jack alone.
I touched his arm. "I know this is all . . . a lot."
When Jack's muscles tensed under my palm, I pulled my hand back.
"Please, talk to me. I need to hear how you're feeling about all this."
Quick glance from the road. "Doan know, me. Confused. I pictured us having a kid together, down the line when we were older. Now it's you and Dominija." He briefly squeezed his eyes closed, as if the thought brought on fresh pain. "You two do this on purpose?"
"Never! Paul gave me a contraceptive shot--or so I thought. I told him I didn't want to have a child in a world like this. And I'd already told Aric that I was way too young."
"Dominija wanted you to have his baby?"
"Yes. No. He did at first, but then he changed his mind. Still, after we found this out, he was happy. He thinks it could derail the game. Plus, he simply wants a family. To this day, he misses his."
"Tell me about it." Jack would always miss his beloved mother and his sister Clotile. "What if the Reaper plotted with the Hanged Man? What if they set you up?"
"No, I don't believe so. I trust Aric. Or I did trust him." Death's look of fury plagued my memories. "I'm really confused too."
"How could he attack you and his kid?"
"Paul convinced him I lied about the pregnancy. Now Aric hates me for 'tricking' him into believing it for a time."
"I'm goan to kill that medic."
"Not if I get to him first. I've wanted him dead since I learned I was pregnant."
Jack's gaze dropped to my stomach before returning to the road. "How far along are you? Women sometimes lose pregnancies."
"More than three months, I think. I get the feeling this one is here to stay."
"You doan sound overjoyed by that."
"I think having a baby is the craziest thing anyone could do during an apocalypse, much less during a deadly game. At best, I'm no longer bulletproof. At worst, it's draining my body."
All of my bottled-up thoughts spilled out: "And how could this kid be normal? Just weeks before I got pregnant, zombies dined on me. Since then, I've been bitten by a viper, caught in an avalanche, stabbed, starved, and nearly parboiled by Richter. And it's not like I can run out and get a sonogram. Not to mention that my grandmother warned me that Life and Death would become something dire. I'm probably carrying the Antichrist. Of course, she was half-crazed when she told me that--which reminds me: great genes I'm passing on."
"Wait. Circe said her godson. If you haven't had a sonogram, how'd she know it's a boy?"
"She sensed it, because she's a witch."
"Then couldn't she sense if anything was wrong?"
Huh. Good point. But then, Circe's judgment might be off. Aside from her mental decline, her likes included an occasional bloody sacrifice and being a sea monster.
"What'd the Priestess say about your pregnancy?"
I admitted, "She made it sound like the kid had shielded me from Paul's reversal power, his dark calling. It doesn't work on humans, and the baby might be a regular mortal."
"That's something, non?"
"Circe's probably biased. She thinks this baby could usher in a new era--the key to saving the world. She called me Mother Earth and reminded me that my powers and history were all about birth and rebirth."
"A new era?" Jack said, a wistful note underscoring his words. "You believe something like that could happen?"
I sighed. "Could this development affect future games? Yes. But I don't think my having a kid will make the sun shi
ne again. I'm coming to accept that only the natural conclusion of the game can do that." This subject always made my head hurt. "Jack, I understand if you want to bow out of this mission. I mean, this is really messed up."
"I woan stop until you're safe. Being out in the Ash is a certain death-sentence. Being out here when pregnant? You might as well have a target on your back."
"Which means you'll have one as long as you're close to me."
"I was never goan to live long anyway. I figure the average survival time out here is a year. I'm not average, so maybe I can eke out three more years. If I make it to twenty-three, I'll do a jig, me."
So how could I bear ever to be separated from him again? If Aric returned to normal, and I returned to him, Jack would leave. I'd never see him again.
"We've got to get you safe in that castle, now more than ever. That stronghold is your only hope. Come hell or high water"--we'd experienced both recently--"you're goan to be there when you give birth."
I nibbled my bottom lip. "How can you want to help me when I'm knocked up by another man?"
"You think I'm goan to abandon you, just 'cause you're pregnant? That's something my father might've done, but I ain't him." Emotion simmered in Jack's gray eyes. "I'll help you no matter what, Evangeline. I always will."
I couldn't accept this. There was no upside for him--only more Arcana madness, Death, and death. When Jack had decided to let me make a future with Aric, he'd been free for a time. "We aren't . . . together anymore. How can you risk your life for mine?"
He shot me a look like I'd gone crazy. "How can you ask that? You got my heart in your hand. I told you--I'm not ever getting it back."
I had his heart in my hand, and he had my thorn in his paw. I almost felt like I'd . . . doomed him somehow along the way.
Never meaning to, but done all the same. I rubbed my aching brow. "What will happen now?"
"I doan want to put pressure on you with another choice, so let me tell you how this is goan to go. If Dominija can be saved, and I trust that he woan give in to that rage again, then I'll let you two get back to your life. If we can't save him, we'll defeat him and take that castle. You and me'll live there and raise this kid for as long as we can hold on."
My breath caught. Jack was offering to raise Aric's son?
From the back, Joules said, "I know what I'm hoping for."
I shot him a look. He shrugged and closed his eyes again.
Facing Jack, I said, "There's something else you need to know. I can't win this game. I'd rather die than become immortal."