To keep from reacting, I imagined how Richter would look when I injected him with poison--the first time.
"But we'll be blind whenever she sleeps," Aric said. "So the Priestess keeps watch through her rivers. She has surrounded this area with water and controls the only road to the castle."
I somewhat recalled him yelling for Circe to let him pass. "Did she spare me because of you?"
He knocked back a shot. "Ask her."
I intended to. I'd been talking to puddles all this time; why stop now?
Then understanding dawned on me. "Whoa, whoa, it sounds like we're preparing for . . . a defense. I need the Emperor dead."
Aric's gaze fell on one of his shelves. "I forfeited the one weapon that could have defeated him from afar." The lightning javelin? He'd stolen it from Joules and safeguarded it for millennia. To save Selena from the Lovers--and gain my favor--he'd used the weapon intended for Richter.
In order to win me. Another decision he must regret.
Selena had died anyway. I'd chosen another man, and Aric had missed an opportunity to take Richter out the night of the massacre.
Can't change fate. "Then I will kill him. You promised that you and my grandmother would teach me how." In a past game, I'd taken down galleons, cracking them open like eggs. If I could tap into my full potential . . .
"The Tarasova will have more information about your abilities," he said. "I can help you train. But even if we felt confident of a victory, how will we find the Emperor without the Arcana calls?"
The idea of waiting to get vengeance nauseated me. I couldn't continue like this for much longer. It felt an awful lot like enduring--which was a slippery slope toward acceptance. "Lark and Circe will find him."
Lark's eyes flashed. "I've already got my scouts combing the area for Finn--and Richter. I'll merge with my animals as much as possible. On that note, I'm gonna make like a stray and get lost." She rose with her ferret. "Oh, here," she said, reaching into her pocket. She handed me the red ribbon, then slipped out of the room.
Feeling Aric's gaze on me, I fought not to react. He would suspect it had something to do with Jack--
"A token from the mortal, no doubt." Of course Aric would know. "You're taking this better than I'd expected."
He should've seen me at the gravestone. I clenched the ribbon and remained mute.
"Outwardly at least. Are we not to talk about Jack?"
His name was like a sudden gunshot about to free an avalanche. "No, we're not. I can't." Not yet.
"This is consuming you, but I'm not to be privy to your thoughts? Then you've turned your back on me again."
"Don't think of it like that, please." If Jack had been the love of my life, Aric was my soul mate. I loved this man, I regretted his lonely existence, and I appreciated everything he'd ever done for me. But I felt as if I'd lost Jack mere days ago.
The weeks I'd spent unconscious hadn't blunted my grief. When I'd had the hope of going back in time, I hadn't allowed myself to grieve. After that, I'd been too busy trying to reach Aric. "I'm hanging on by a thread here." As Jack had once told me.
"Then let me help you." Aric seemed to be saying so much with his eyes, yet I understood so little. I got the sense that he wanted me to remember something--but my mind wasn't up to speed.
I shook my aching head, struggling not to bleed out. Not quite yet.
He raked his fingers through his hair. "If you won't let me help, then what am I to you?"
Now, on the spot, I was supposed to label our relationship? We loved each other, but we weren't together romantically. If I believed that the game demanded blood and that fate couldn't be changed, then we never should be.
I didn't want to say the wrong thing, so I settled on the safest: "I . . . don't know?"
"Then Fauna is mistaken." His tone was like ice. "There is nothing unresolved on my part."
"What does that mean?" Where was the man who'd urged me to live, who'd cared for me?
"You are welcome in my home. We are allies, of a sort. That will be the extent of our relationship."
Of a sort? "I see." What were my eyes telling him?
I love you, but I have nothing left inside me. I'm a drained husk like Tess. My head's not right and won't be till Richter begs me to kill him.
Does the game demand blood?
I stood to go. "For what it's worth, thank you for the last two times you've saved me."
Voice gone low, he asked, "You're glad you didn't follow Deveaux into the flames?"
"No, you were right. I need to avenge him."
_______________
I didn't realize until later how unintentionally cruel my parting words to Aric had been. As if I had nothing else in my life?
Where's your head at, Evie?
20
Day 425 A.F.
I woke to my own cries, out of breath from another nightmare about Jack. Tears flowed down my cheeks like crimson seeping from a tourniquet.
"Twist, tighten, constrict," I muttered, gazing around with confusion. Where was I?
My glyphs lit my new suite. I frowned to find Cyclops taking up half of the bed. He must've nosed his way in here.
He blinked his eye at me. Whatcha gonna do?
I lay on his neck and scratched his scarred ears until the roosters began to crow (whenever they thought it should be dawn). Then I rose and took a shower.
Under the steaming water, I struggled to clear the fog in my mind and decide my path going forward.
Now that I'd warned Aric and Lark about Gran, I would take more time with her, chipping away at her beliefs day by day--while gleaning as much information as possible about the other cards. I might not agree with her about my allies, but she and I would be on the exact same page about my enemies.
Dressed in a sweater and jeans, I let Cyclops out, then knocked on Gran's door. No answer. Figuring she must still be asleep, I headed to the tower. The stairs were a misery on my still healing legs, but I made it to the top.
From the panoramic windows, I gazed out past the castle's slate roof into the drizzly darkness. The river at the base of the mountain coursed like a moat, looking small from this height.
I turned back to the room, surveying the sunny landscapes I'd painted on the walls. This tower was a time capsule in itself.
I sat on the bed and fired up the laptop--one present among the many Aric had given me. I'd stored my zip-drive's worth of family photos on it. Some part of me must have always known I would return to the castle of lost time.
From the bed, I could see my ballet slippers hanging on the back of the door. Aric had found them for me. Dancing for him had been pure pleasure, and each day I'd fallen for him more. I'd dreamed about him in this bed. And hated myself for missing Jack. . . .
Forcing my gaze from those slippers, I scrolled through pictures on my laptop. Gran might like to look at them. God, everything had been so shockingly green. This was how Jack had envisioned Acadiana. I patted my jeans pocket, where I kept the ribbon--
My eyes went wide. I didn't have a single picture of him. I scrambled for one of my blank drawing journals and a pencil set. I hadn't sketched much while here. Nothing had moved me to.
With my pencil flying over the paper, I drew Jack as he'd looked after taking command of the Azey South army. He'd ridden into Fort Arcana with his expression so heartbreakingly proud. He'd liked being a leader, and he'd been good at it. I would've said he'd been born for it, but his life had been cut too short.
On another page, I tried to capture the look in his eyes as he'd gazed down at me in Selena's pool, just before our first kiss. Next I would draw him within the cypress stand he'd described to me, when he'd told me a story about our dream day together: "We decided it was our place. No one else's. Because that was where we became Evie and Jack."
As my pencil moved, I repeatedly whispered, "Twist, tighten, constrict--"
"Your grandmother is looking for you," Aric intoned from the doorway. I'd never heard his spurs. "She can't
climb these stairs, so she bade me to come get you."
I clasped my sketchbook against my chest. "I tried her earlier, but she was still asleep." How strange that I could be so numb inside, but I still felt love for Aric. My blood-starved heart had leapt at the sight of him.
"I'm sure you're keen to catch up with her about old times." Sarcasm?
"Will she and I talk about the past? I hope so." In time. "But I'm also mindful that Richter could be heading our way. I need to learn everything she can teach me."
He leaned one of his broad shoulders against the doorframe. "And she will be delighted to instruct you, I assure you."
I narrowed my eyes. "You brought her here. You told me you wanted me to learn."
"After I saved your life and reunited the two of you, I didn't think her first lesson would be to eliminate me. At best, it's flawed game strategy, since I am motivated to protect you."
"I can pick and choose what I decide to believe," I assured him. "To use."
"Take care that she doesn't poison your mind."
"Didn't you hear? I'm immune to poison."
Aric parted his lips to say something, then seemed to think better of it. As he strode away, the sound of his spurs rang in my ears.
I glanced back at my sketch. When had I drawn a frame of flames around Jack?
21