“You’re back …” she mutters.
“Hmm. Just go to sleep.”
“You were with him, weren’t you?” Her voice suddenly sounds much more awake than usual.
I hesitate to answer, fearing the worst. “Yeah.”
“Please tell me you're careful. And safe.”
I thought she was gonna scold me. I didn’t expect her to actually worry. Not that she needs to, but it feels nice to know she cares so much.
I turn my head toward her. “Of course.”
She smiles at me, but I can definitely see the troubled look she’s trying to hide. “Don’t let him hurt you.”
“He’d never touch me that way,” I reassure her.
“I mean your heart,” she says. “He’s your teacher, after all.”
She’s really worried about me, even though she doesn’t need to be. But I understand. We’re best friends after all, and best friends take care of each other. Even when one of them doesn’t wanna hear it.
I nod. “I know.”
She turns around and falls back to sleep again, but I’m still wide-awake.
My stomach churns with uncertainty.
She’s right. He is my teacher. Is it wrong to fall for a guy like him? Is it doomed to fail?
I sigh and close my eyes.
Only one way to find out.
* * *
Thomas
That night
I lie in bed, awake, unable to sleep.
I keep thinking about Hailey.
About our fun time together, and about how excited she makes me.
I smile to myself, wondering what she’ll wear tomorrow.
If I can make her blush with just a few words.
The color of her cheeks entices me.
But most of all, she provides me with a means to escape.
To fantasize and dream about something naughty and nice … instead of wallowing in my own misery.
Reluctantly, I close my eyes, hoping sleep comes soon so I don’t have to lie awake all night as I often do. Hoping that, when it does finally come, it’ll be gentle and smooth.
But I know that’s only a lie I tell myself to fall asleep easier.
Tonight is no different.
In my dreams, it’s morning, and I’m not in my apartment anymore. I’m in a place I used to call home. A place that’s long gone, and now only exists in my memories.
The sun is shining brightly, a warm glow on my skin as I get out of bed. I walk into the living room and am greeted by the smell of buns roasting in the oven … or rather, burning.
Frowning, I check the stove. Black smoke fills the room as I open the door and take out the tray of burned buns, completely crisp and inedible. I throw the entire pan in the sink and cool it down while blowing away the smoke, and I open the windows to let it escape.
Strange.
Why would she put something in the oven and leave?
I call out her name, but there’s no response.
I check all the other rooms, but she’s nowhere to be found.
Until I come to the bathroom.
It’s locked.
I knock. Three times. No response. I call out her name again. No response, even though I know she’s in there.
Panic makes me shove my shoulder into the wood. Again and again, until it cracks and my muscles ache. When the lock breaks, I slam it open and rush into the bathroom …
Only to find her resting in the tub.
Her head is underwater.
Her body is cold and white as snow.
I grab her body and pull her from the water, dragging her out of the tub and into my arms. My clothes are getting soaked, but none of that matters because all I can think of is how I can make her breathe.
I clasp my hands and press on her chest a few times, repeating the movement until suddenly she bursts into coughs. Water spills from her mouth. I breathe a sigh of relief and help her cough out the rest by holding her head so she doesn’t swallow it back.
Tears well in my eyes at the sight of her.
Her eyes are watery. Empty. And the first thing that finally floods back into her isn’t life. It’s guilt.
Her hand lifts to meet my face, and I lean into her palm. Cradling her in my arms, I sniff and let the tears run. She’s alive. She’s here.
Still.
For now.
This is how it always goes.
How my dreams turn into nightmares and wake me up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.
But this time, I don’t stop the dream.
I don’t will it to end.
I just sit here in my dream world and let it all go.
Just like she did.
* * *
A few days later
During the day, I ignore whatever happened in my nightmares. I push them away into the deepest corner of my mind because I don’t want to think about them. It’s the only way I can stay sane.
What I do want to think about is that girl … Hailey.
Every time I see her in class, I can’t take my eyes off her.