“A really hot fuck,” I said. “Don’t forget that part.”
Halo stumbled back a step, the anger now replaced with hurt from the blow I’d just landed, and he blinked several times and then slowly shook his head. I balled my fists by my sides and ordered myself to stay put. This was what had to happen—he knew it, and so did I.
“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Halo said under his breath, and as he took another step away, he shook his head. “I thought… I…” When his words stopped, he looked up, and those light eyes were wide and full of disbelief and betrayal.
“You knew how this was going to end,” I said, as though that would make things any better. “You’re the frontman, Angel. Your career, our career is about to explode, and this can’t be more than what it’s been. So it needs to be done. I told you this already.”
Halo’s eyes flashed, and the anger from a second ago reignited. “And I told you I won’t be someone I’m not.”
I shrugged. “That’s fine. But whoever you are has to be without me. I won’t be the reason this band comes to a grinding halt.”
Halo’s mouth fell open as he walked back the couple of steps he needed so we were toe to toe.
“There it is,” Halo said, his annoyance now spreading to his cheeks in a red flush. “The real reason here. It’s got nothing to do with me. It’s everything to do with you. You’ve been so closed off to anyone giving a shit about you that you don’t know how to actually trust someone anymore. I’m not Owen. I’m not going to fuck you over or exploit you if this doesn’t work out. And I’m not about to walk out on something I’ve been working my ass off for because I’m no longer allowed to fuck the Viper. So why don’t you get the fuck over yourself already.”
Thirty-Eight
Halo
WOW. SO IT had come to this. I should’ve known better than to expect a warning before Viper decided he was done with me. The change in his mood had flipped on a dime, giving me whiplash, and worse, he’d done it in front of his mom.
And it was all because I’d told him I thought he was extraordinary? Was he fucking kidding with that shit? He was extraordinary, all right. An extraordinary jackass.
“What, nothing to say?” I asked when Viper shoved his hands in his pockets, looking entirely unaffected by what was happening, and that was fucking infuriating.
I knew better than to think I meant nothing to him. He could tell me I was just a fuck all day until he was blue in the face, but his actions spoke louder than his words, and it was the little things he did that showed me he cared more than he’d ever let on. So all this bullshit? This cement wall going back up around him? It was because he was scared. Viper was so scared of letting anyone in, because God forbid the man be vulnerable and put himself out there.
“Why can’t you admit it, huh?” I said. “For one second why can’t you admit this shit’s got you running scared?”
Viper pulled his hands out of his pockets and spread his arms wide. “Look at me. You see me runnin’? Do I look scared to you?”
“Riiight. Big, bad Viper,” I sneered. “Gotta maintain your image of not giving a shit about anyone or anything. What a miserable existence.”
His eyes narrowed. “You done?”
Was I? No. Fuck no. I wanted him to fight back after he admitted he couldn’t sleep in his own damn bed without me there. I wanted him to tell me he felt the same way I did—that this casual fling between us had changed over the last few months into something more.
“So this is it? It’s over?” I said.
“You need more closure than this?”
Fuck me, he was being an asshole. He always told me he was, and I never listened, because he’d never shown that side of himself with me, but I sure as hell was seeing it now. The last thing I’d expected when he invited me to his mom’s tonight was to get booted from Viper’s life—and his bed.
“I wanna know one thing,” I said. “Is the reason you’re doing this because of the band? Because of what people would say about me if they knew about us?”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“It matters to me,” I yelled, shoving Viper in the chest, causing him to stumble back. “It fucking matters to me.”
If he was surprised by my reaction, he didn’t show it. Instead, he righted himself and pulled another cigarette out of his packet. After he lit up, he took a long inhale and then blew the stream of smoke away from me. “It’s for the best. You’ll see.”