You still cheek-blocked me, asshole.
We got in.
Skateboarding teenagers, young professionals, tattooed MacBooks, and skinny lattes and green shakes. Café Diem was hipster heaven, and it was full of regulars, so I knew a lot of people here had witnessed the shitshow that was Jesse storming out on me mid-date a couple days ago. Date, hang out. Whatever. Darren said I could date her but not fuck her. Wasn’t that the definition of marriage?
I waltzed behind the counter before Jesse had the time to object. She was going to get the job. It was in my contract with Darren. She could pretty much burn the place down trying to make coffee, and I’d still hire her. Not that it was that bad a deal, to be honest. I hated to admit that it wouldn’t be the worst thing to look at her tight little body, luscious raven hair, and ocean eyes.
Ocean eyes.
Okay, now I was ninety-nine percent sure I’d grown a pussy and actually contemplated going to the restroom to check that my dong was still intact. And Snowflake wasn’t only nice to look at it. She was one funny chick, too.
“This is Jesse and Shadow. Don’t shake her hand or pet him. They’re both rabid.” I jerked my thumb toward them, my voice as grave and serious as always. “Jesse, this is Beck and Gail.” I motioned to my bald-by-choice emo chick and surfer friend baristas. Jesse snickered and I didn’t turn around to see it, even though it was rare. I knew better than to fuck myself over like that. I sauntered toward the smoothie blender and tapped it.
“Hi!” Gail chirped. I wasn’t sure what she was trying to prove with the shiny, shaved head. If it was an attempt to look a little less girlie, Beck didn’t get the memo, because he nudged her away with his ass, doing a little wave of his own.
“And I’m Gail’s better half, Callum Beck.”
“You’re not half of me. You’re not even half a man,” Gail retorted.
Beck snickered. “I could easily prove you wrong, if you’d just go on a date with me.”
“Anyway,” I stressed, not wanting Jesse to think this was some kind of a HormoneHub where everybody fucked everybody, even though it wasn’t that far from the truth. “Most of our customers are surfers, skateboarders, or beach bums, so we mainly focus on smoothies, not coffee. Make me one now and we’ll see how we go from there.”
“I don’t want the job,” she repeated for the thousandth time. To make her point, she stayed rooted to the floor, but it was in the business side of the counter, right along with us. I was the first one to admit my experience with the other sex was usually just that—sex. I’d only had one girlfriend in my life, Edie, and although she was feisty and brave, she was never so angry. I seemed to have brought out the red in Jesse, and I couldn’t lie—it turned me the fuck on like Christmas at Bethlehem.
“But you do want me to take Shadow for his follow-up appointment. Correct?” I asked, smiling nonchalantly.
She opened her mouth to say something then snapped it shut.
“That’s what I thought. I’m happy to play nurse Protsenko to Old Sport as long as I gain a new employee.”
She shifted her gaze, swallowing hard. I knew I’d won this one, and it felt good.
Snowflake marched over to the blender. She waved her little hand at me, her face a brewing storm. “If I make you a smoothie, do you promise to drink it?”
My eyebrows dove down with suspicion. “Are you gonna put jizz in it or something?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah. I have it handy in my purse.”
I grinned. Like it mattered. I’d lick the sweat between her ass cheeks after a hot yoga class if it wasn’t for the contract I’d signed.
“I promise everything I put in there is legit. I’m just not sure if the combination will be to your liking.”
I humored her. “I like my employees innovative. Let’s see what you got.”
Now she was smiling. Really smiling. I looked away and led Shadow to the far corner of the café, giving him a bowl with fresh water. It was going to be a long-ass six months if every time she grinned, my dick wanted to give her a mouth-to-mouth.
I leaned against the counter, Gail and Beck by my side, as we all watched Jesse dumping banana pieces, strawberries, vanilla yogurt, coconut water…then spinach, kale, avocado, cream cheese, ginger, cayenne, tofu…
“Easy there, Jesse,” Gail said, taking a step toward Carter. I watched closely for any signs of distress from the latter, but found none. She was less uncomfortable with women. “I’m not sure everything goes together.”
Jesse slammed the blender shut and offered Gail a sweet smile. “You think? Gee, I can’t imagine what would happen if I don’t get this job.”