Lucien insisted I stay by Clover’s stall while he took care of the payment. He was treating me like a princess, and that should bother me, but in truth, it felt really fucking good to have someone shower me with affection.
When Lucien came out of the office, he handed me some treats Cathy had given him so we could feed Clover.
“Do you want to give her one?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, they’re for you. She’s for you.”
“She’s really gentle. I know horses aren’t your thing, but you might like her if you gave her a chance.”
“I… No thank you.”
I decided right then it would be my goal to get him to at least pet and feed Clover. Maybe I would never get him on a horse, but I wanted him to be comfortable with them. If I could be brave enough to be a mob boss’s boyfriend, he could pet a pony.
As Clover snatched up the last of the treats from my hand, Lucien’s phone rang.
“It’s Angelo. We’ve been here longer than I expected, so I better take it.”
“We can go. I don’t—”
He shook his head and answered the call. A few seconds later, he shouted, “He did what?”
I couldn’t be sure if he was angry or just shocked.
“All right. No, don’t tell him. What about Stefan?… What do you mean he didn’t show up… Fine, I’ll deal with that later… I don’t care what Devil said… No. Jesus Mary and Joseph. What the fuck was he thinking?… Where’s he taking them?… Fine. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
“We’ve got to go.”
I gave Clover’s ears a final scratch and told her I’d be back to visit her as soon as I could. Then I ran to catch up to Lucien.
“Back to the office?” the driver asked.
“No, to the Weston house.”
“Yes, sir.”
Lucien’s expression remained grim as the car headed down the long driveway. I reached for his hand, lacing our fingers together. He’d taken time away with me when he shouldn’t have, and he was being so generous and treating me with such kindness. The least I could do was try to comfort him.
He didn’t pull away, but he also didn’t look at me. He stared out the window, but I doubted he was seeing any of the beautiful scenery passing by. On the way there, after we’d left the highway, I’d been intrigued by all the signs of spring, the new leaves, baby cows, birds flitting around in the trees by the roadside. Now I only noticed how much the sunny day contrasted with Lucien’s mood.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Devil has taken some prisoners. It would be better if you didn’t know any more than that.”
His voice was cold, and he still didn’t look at me. Just like that, the hope I’d felt as we stood by the corral evaporated. I knew Lucien cared for me, but I needed more. I needed him to see this as more than hot sex and showering me with gifts. Jimmy was right. I had a sugar daddy, one who cared about me, but this wasn’t a fairytale. Lucien wasn’t in love with me, and I wasn’t going to change him.
He was probably right; I was better off not knowing what was happening. It would probably scare the fuck out of me, but my desire for him had survived watching him kill a man. I believed him when he said the man would’ve killed him first if he’d had the chance, but Lucien had also said he’d done far worse. What might I see that would be worse?
No matter what Lucien said, our relationship would have a natural end, and when it was over, I would have to walk away. So maybe this was for the best. I needed to forget my fantasies about capturing Lucien’s heart.
24
Lucien
Not only had Angelo let me know Devil had gone off the rails again, but my father returned early from the Bahamas and liberated Sabrina from the safehouse where I’d sent her. Now I was going to have to confront my fucked-in-the head cousin in front of my father. Fucking perfect.
I’d known things were close to blowing up, but I’d had a plan even after the fucking disaster a few nights ago, now it was blown to shit. If Peter found out what Devil had done, it wouldn’t matter if I bought him so many horses he could ride a different one every day of the year. He would never look at me the same again.
I thought Peter was the one, the way my mother had been for my dad. I thought he might be able to unfreeze my heart so I could love him openly, but now the chances of that were worse than ever. If Devil made Peter hate me, I was done ignoring his inability to follow orders. He was going to get the fuck out of my house and the family business.