The next few days were insanely busy. Two of the pregnant cows were showing signs of distress, and they had to be brought into the small covered pens. I ended up spending most of one night out there with them, and the next night I was too worn out to do anything but fall into bed. I hadn’t planned to see Riley every night. In fact, I’d told him we couldn’t risk it. As much as I wanted Riley sleeping beside me, it felt inevitable that we’d be caught if we saw each other regularly—it kind of seemed inevitable anyway—but if he came over occasionally and someone noticed, I could say we were working on the business side of the ranch or watching training videos on handling cattle or something to explain him being with me in the evenings.
I hadn’t thought it would be so hard to send him to the main house most nights, but once we’d given in to our desire for each other, I wanted him even more. Knowing how good it felt to hold him, to feel him relax against me, made it harder than ever to keep my hands off him. I wanted to give him comfort, but being with him comforted me too. It wasn’t just the need to fuck him—not that I didn’t want that too, but I’d be content just to hold him.
It had been a long time since I’d spent much time around someone who cared about what I wanted. I gave orders, and people did what I said, but that was their job. I wasn’t close to any of the men here. Most of them knew little about me personally other than the fact I was gay. I should be thankful they didn’t care about that or at least they didn’t care enough to refuse to work with me or to trust me—which could be vital when handling animals weighing close to a thousand pounds. I was glad to have the crew I’d put together here, but I had to admit I hadn’t done much to attempt to foster friendships with them. Casey had tried—both for friendship and something more—but I’d gotten so used to being closed off that I’d brushed off his efforts. Having Riley with me made me realize how damn lonely I’d been.
And having him look at me like he truly wanted to please me, like he truly cared, reminded me that I needed a hell of a lot more than random hookups. Maybe when I finally got my own ranch, I could work on trying to find someone who’d want more.
Or maybe you’ve already found that person.
No. I couldn’t think like that. Even if Riley could stay, he didn’t want to. He wanted a life in the city doing… something else.
“How are they today?” Riley’s voice surprised me, and it took me a moment to realize he was talking about the sick cows.
“Better.” I glanced at him over my shoulder. “You’re up early.” It was at least half an hour before he was supposed to meet me in the office so I could teach him all about our calving process. He’d be gone by the time most of the calves dropped, but he might be there for the first ones. And he couldn’t claim to know how to run the ranch if he didn’t understand our breeding program as well as the work that had to be done once we had calves on the ground.
“When will their calves be born?” Riley asked, reaching a hand over the gate and petting the cow I’d been examining.
“In about six weeks.”
He studied the cow, frowning. “How can you tell?”
“Well, for one thing, we only put the bulls in with the cows for thirty days so we know they were impregnated during that time. About forty-five days after the bulls go back in the bull pen, we check to see if the cows are pregnant.”
Riley frowned. “And you do that by….”
“Rectal exam.” I laughed at the look of disgust on his face. “A vet can be called to check, but over the years, I’ve learned how to do it myself. It’s hardly the grossest thing I’ve done working a cattle operation.”
“I’m not sure I could do that.”
I raised a brow. “Riley, that’s getting awful close to telling me you’re not capable.”
He flushed, and his hand went to his ass. “I just got to where I can sit down again.”
“If you think that will stop me—”
“No, sir. I don’t think that.”
The look on his face was too adorable. “Good. Now rephrase what you said.”
“It sounds really gross, but I guess I could do it if I had too.”
“Yes, you could.”
He glanced at the cows, frown still on his face. “Maybe.”
“On a ranch, no one gets to decide they don’t do certain jobs, no matter how hard or how gross.”