“Leo?” Ezra called as I shut the door behind me.
“It’s me. Everything’s fine. That was one of the men who’s watching the building.” I quickly finished placing the order for pizza as I walked to the bedroom.
“Did they find someone? Did something happen?”
The guards picked up a couple of men who were trying to find a way in. They’ve got it under control.”
He sighed. “Are you ever going to tell me more about the man you’re after?”
“I shouldn’t.” And yet something told me it was the right thing to do.
“I know you said it would put me in danger to know details, but if I’m in danger already, if these people are after me, I want to know why. I want to know what this is all about.”
Of course he did. I just didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to see him look at me with horror in his eyes.
You don’t have to tell him all the details. He doesn’t need to know exactly how you bring down people like Swain.
“We can talk some more when the pizza gets here. Why don’t you rest until then?”
He frowned. “What are you going to do?”
I wanted to crawl into bed with him, pull him against me, and pretend I’d never heard of Swain. “I need to make a few phone calls.”
I was supposed to call X when we got to my apartment, but all I’d been able to think about was Ezra and how much I needed him. Is this what Giorgio and Niall had meant when they’d said I wouldn’t be able to fight my feelings when I found the man for me?
No. I wasn’t even going to entertain that thought. I liked that Ezra needed me. I’d always enjoyed taking care of men, but I’d learned it was pointless to try to keep that up long-term. I wasn’t made for that, not when anyone who was with me would be in danger, not when I’d learned to think of myself as a weapon more than a person.
Giorgio and Niall had found a way to live with it, though, and the Marchesis too. But they weren’t me. They hadn’t been hiding who they were for as long. They hadn’t always had to be careful every second like I had in the CIA. They had down time, but I’d been in so deep I’d become someone else.
Ezra looked disappointed, and I remembered the tears in his eyes earlier. I thought I’d hurt him. I’d thought he regretted what we’d done, but he’d said that wasn’t it. He’d said he wanted to be mine.
I had a feeling no one else had ever made him feel special before. I was going to do that for him. I was going to make sure he knew how amazing he was so after all of this was settled, he could…
Rage filled me at the thought of someone else touching him.
If he’s yours, how are you going to let him go?
Fuck. I did not need to think about that now.
“I can make my calls from here.” I slipped into the bed and positioned myself so I was sitting with my back against the headboard. Ezra shifted over and laid his head on my thigh.
I played with his hair as I tapped on X’s name in my contacts. X didn’t answer at first, but that wasn’t unexpected. It often took him a few minutes to get away from his other job, running one of the largest philanthropic foundations in the country. He’d call me back.
Ezra closed his eyes and sighed. I loved the warm weight of him against me. I hadn’t had a man stay in my bed after sex in a long time. I hadn’t even brought a man home since I’d moved into this apartment. I wanted it to be my safe space. Not that I had any real illusion that I was ever completely safe anywhere, at least not safe from detection.
Not many people could get the better of me in a fight, but plenty who wanted to try would be able to find me if they looked hard enough. Still, my apartment was where I came to relax. At home, I could be the closest thing to myself that I knew how to be anymore. It was where I could doodle as I dreamed up new tattoo designs or just sketch for the hell of it. I didn’t share that side of me with many people, but I’d already thought about showing Ezra some of my art.
My phone rang as I was trying to decide what pieces Ezra would like.
“I was expecting to hear from you before now,” X said when I answered.
“It took me a while to get Ezra settled here.”
Ezra looked up at me with an adorable smile on his face, and I caressed his lips with my thumb.