“My real self is an ass according to Dash.”
“Is that the man you fell for?”
Thorne nodded. “God. This… I didn’t mean to tell you all this. What do you think of me now?”
“I think you’re hurting worse than I’ve seen you since high school.”
“High school was never this bad.”
Kathryn moved to the couch, settled beside him, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “So, what are we going to do about it?”
“We aren’t going to do anything. You’re going to leave and let me wallow in misery.”
“What about work?”
“What about it?”
“Thorne, despite the fact that I’ve been telling you to take some time off for approximately a decade, you have a job. You can’t just ignore it.”
“I actually could. I’m owed several months off. I’m going to take some time.”
“First, you have to at least call the office and put people on your projects. You can’t just disappear and… Wow, this man has really changed you, hasn’t he?”
“You like the new me? Unwashed, undressed, and drunk at ten a.m.”
“No, but there’s something under all that, something good. I can hear it in your voice.”
“It was good, but he’s gone, and I’m worse off now than if…”
Kathryn shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
Thorne scowled at her.
“Eventually—the sooner the better if we’re going to fix this situation—you need to tell me what happened in more detail, and—”
“I hired him to fuck me. Then, instead of telling him I’d fallen in love with him, I offered to hire him full time.”
“To hire him full time?”
“Yeah, that’s basically what he said but with more colorful language.”
“Oh, Thorne.”
How could he explain without sounding even stupider than he already did? “I thought…”
“I’m sure you did. You might not be very wise when it comes to relationships, but you aren’t cruel.”
“Just because you have a perfect marriage to the perfect man doesn’t mean the rest of us have your powers.”
Kathryn snorted. “My marriage is far from perfect.”
“The fuck it isn’t.”
She poured herself another drink. He’d always had this effect on her. “Thorne, no marriage is perfect. And even if mine was, that doesn’t mean you and Dash don’t deserve a chance to be happy.”
“He’s young. Did I mention that? Very young. And he does deserve happiness, but he’ll have a better chance of finding it without me.”
Kathryn ignored his self-deprecation. “How young is he?”
“Twenty-two. That’s partly why I didn’t think he’d want to date me.”
“Whew! That is young.”
Thorne wasn’t sure he liked how readily she agreed with him. “Not a lot of old guys working for escort services. And it’s not what you’re thinking. We’d joked about him being my personal chef. I was going to hire him to cook for me.”
“Did he understand what you were hiring him for?”
“I thought so, but now I’m not sure.”
Kathryn sighed. “Have you tried to contact him?”
Thorne laughed, the sound brittle. “I called him—I don’t know—ten or twenty times over the weekend, like a fucking stalker. Then yesterday morning, he called me and told me he wanted to hate me, but he couldn’t. I started to hope… But then he asked me to stop calling.”
“Did you?” Kathryn asked.
“I did, but I deposited a ‘tip’ into his account with the service.”
“How much?” Kathryn frowned like she knew he’d done something else idiotic. It was the same look she’d given him every time he fucked up as a kid.
“Sixty-five thousand dollars.”
“Oh my God.” Kathryn downed the rest of her drink.
“It’s enough for his baking and pastry arts degree. That’s why he’s working as an escort, to earn money for school. He refused it, though. The woman who runs the service called me and explained that the tip was being refunded.”
“Thorne…” Kathryn shook her head.
“I screwed up again, right?”
“Did you really think he was going to take your money after you insulted him?”
Thorne poured himself another drink, though he wanted to give up and just take a swig from the decanter. “I didn’t mean to insult him. All I wanted was to take care of him.”
She nodded. “Possibly he understands that, but his pride took a hit, and—” She gestured toward the half-empty bourbon bottle. “So did yours.”
“My pride could handle it.”
Kathryn raised her brows, obviously questioning his assessment.
“It hurts so bad. Losing someone.” Not even losing Clint had made him this desperate to crawl under the covers and never come out.
She sighed. “Give him some time. Work on yourself.”
“Me? What’s the point?”
Kathryn narrowed her eyes. “If you can’t answer that, there’s no hope of getting him back.”
“You’re taking all this rather well. Your brother is gay. He hires prostitutes. He’s an idiot.”
“The last I knew. The first I suspected, and the second… Well, there are worse things, and it’s not like you hired Dash off the street. I think a hell of a lot more men and women pay for it than we think.”