Those words had sunk in deep and stayed there not only in Phoenix but all of us.
Love was defined by those words my father said to her that day. It was how I measured every relationship I’d ever had. None coming close. As thankful and blessed as I knew we were to have parents that loved like they did, in time I had told myself it was impossible to find.
Until now, I was so consumed by these feelings that had broken free inside me for Eli. Only my mother would understand. Maybe she’d be able to help me make him feel the same way. I didn’t think it worked like that, but I had to hope there was a way to keep him. I pressed my lips to his arm and let my eyes close again. I didn’t focus on the worries of loving a man I could lose. Instead, I thought of all the moments today that made me smile and let that happiness go with me into the peacefulness of sleep.
JUNE 13 / 12:06 PM
Eli Hardy
THE SOUNDS OF little girl voices faded. I glanced up from my laptop to see it was noon. Ophelia had said she would have a two-hour break from twelve to two. I should have driven back to Sea Breeze this morning. I needed to get settled in my apartment, find a job, and decided on going back to Atlanta to get my things or just calling and seeing if Grate would ship me what I had left with him. I was almost positive the club I had worked at would mail me the paycheck they still had of mine.
I’d woken to find Ophelia curled up asleep at my side with her arms wrapped around mine as if she was trying to get close to me even in her sleep. I’d decided one more day wouldn’t hurt. I didn’t want to face reality when I had this here. I didn’t want to go back to Atlanta now that I knew how being near Ophelia made me feel alive again.
The freedom from darkness that being with Ophelia provided, getting to see her smile, listen to her laugh, just fucking getting to be in her presence was a cure to the emptiness. It was like the universe was telling me I’d lived through hell and she was my reward. That idea made me feel guilty. I had shoved it away. Ophelia was beauty and for a moment I was getting to experience it. She had some power to weave that beauty around everything around her.
I’d stayed this morning because of all that and unlike our sexual explosiveness from the day before, we had taken it slow in the early hours of dawn. Savored being there together. I’d kissed her and for a moment it was just us. Nothing else in the world. As life-altering as the previous sex with her had been, this morning had been spiritual. To describe it as making love wasn’t adequate.
The door opened to the loft and every nerve in my body reacted to knowing she was back. Close again. Here with me. I was completely screwed, and I knew it. The idea of leaving her seemed impossible. Atlanta and all it harbored felt like a different lifetime.
I couldn’t label this insanity she’d created inside me as love. I’d been in love. More than once and I knew how love felt. This was a different power altogether. One I had no name for. I wasn’t sure anyone had a name for the reaction that just the thought of her released within me.
“I’m starving,” she announced as she lit up the place with her smile. “Want to go with me to find food? Because cooking something doesn’t sound appealing at all.”
I closed my laptop and stood up. “Where do you want to go?” I asked. She had only enough time to grab a banana and a protein bar on her way out the door this morning.
Her expression was one of deep thought before she held up a finger and said with obvious excitement, “I know!”
I didn’t care where it was or what kind of food they had. I was with her and it made the world a brighter place. “Let’s go then,” I said, grabbing my keys from the table.
“Do you like Thai food?” she asked, studying me as if she was expecting me to lie and she needed to decipher the truth.
“It’s not my favorite, but I’m willing to try it,” I replied honestly enough.
Then she broke out into a massive grin before laughing. “I hate Thai food,” she said while still laughing. “You’re in luck. Masters is a barbecue place.”
I cocked an eyebrow and kept the amusement off my face. “Damn, I hate barbecue,” I lied.
She laughed harder before responding, “Nice try. I’ve seen you eat a plate full of barbecue chicken at Nate and Bliss’s engagement party. And you went back to get seconds on the fixings.”