I slammed my palm against the door hard enough to startle him into letting go.
"I don't want coffee, Jack," I said and pushed my way past him.
I stared at the room, fighting the urge to flinch as my gaze tripped from the pizza box to the tossed beer cans to the piles of newspapers to the overflowing ashtrays. My shoulders tightened. I tried to ignore the mess, but it was like spiders creeping up my spine, making my skin itch, stopping only when I scooped up the nearest pile of papers.
"Don't - " Jack began.
"I see housekeeping wasn't included in the rent." I tried to laugh, but it came out tight. I grabbed another stack of newspapers.
"Leave it." The thump of his cast on the floor. A hand gripped my elbow. "Nadia."
"I've got it."
"That's why I said 'wait,' " he muttered. "Just - "
"I've got it. Go get dressed so we can talk."
A grumbling sigh, underlain with another oath. Then the thump of his retreat. I snuck a glance over my shoulder. It didn't look like he was wearing a walking cast, but that wasn't stopping him. A single crutch rested against the door, as if he only used it for going out. From the looks of this room, he hadn't been doing much of that.
The place wasn't dirty, just untidy. Not like Jack. Still, it wasn't as if there was a crate of empty whiskey bottles. Alcoholic binges required relinquishing control, and Jack couldn't abide that.
He dealt with stress another way, and evidence of it rested in every overflowing ashtray. Jack had almost quit, but got stuck at one cigarette a day. The only time he smoked more than one was when something was bothering him. As an ex-smoker myself, I know that urge all too well.
Dumping the ashtrays, I noticed they were all American brands. Jack smoked a very specific brand - Irish, hard to find. He only resorted to American cigarettes when the need outweighed his distaste.
I stacked a couple of crossword puzzle books, and couldn't resist thumbing through them. Most were done. Surprising. I'd never known Jack to do crosswords. But then, I'd never known him to do anything that qualified as recreational.
A noise from the bathroom. I looked up to see Jack in the doorway, surveying the room, shaking his head.
"All cleaned up," I said.
"I see that."
He scratched his jaw, wincing as he hit a fresh shaving nick. His hair glistened from a quick shower. He wore the sweatpants from earlier, but had pulled on a T-shirt, showing lean muscled arms with no scars, no tattoos, no distinguishing features - those he added only with a disguise.
When Jack had started coming to see me at the lodge, I'd always presumed he was in disguise. He hadn't been. The darkness had been disguise enough, though it also had the effect of making him look younger, leading to a stellar foot-in-mouth moment when I first saw him in the light and commented on his aging techniques... only to realize later he hadn't been using any.
Like his arms, the rest of him - the visible parts at least - bore no distinguishing features. There was little distinguishing about Jack at all. Average build, average height. He had an angular face that couldn't quite be called handsome, with lines deepening by his mouth and between his eyes, threatening to become creases. His wavy black hair was shot through with silver. Midforties, maybe creeping toward fifty.
Jack's eyes were the only feature a witness might remember, not for any unusual color or shape, but for his gaze - that piercing, unnerving way of watching, as if tracking everything around him. Even that, though, he could turn off with a blink and retreat into unadulterated ordinariness. Perfect for a hitman.
"Evelyn thinks you should lie low with me for a while, at the lodge."
"Nah."
He hobbled to the bed. I resisted the impulse to help.
"So you're fine," I said as he sat.
"Yeah."
"All right, then."
I headed for the door.
"Shouldn't have called," he said.
I turned. "What?"