I had a long night of driving ahead, but if I went home, I'd only lie awake waiting for morning so I could resume the hunt for Sammi. Since I had no idea where to resume that hunt, I might as well spend the time driving and thinking, while accomplishing another task.
Evelyn was right. I had to look Jack in the eye and hear him tell me that he wasn't coming around anymore. A reason would be even better, but probably too much to hope for.
My first thought on arriving at the Blue Sky motel was that Janie Ernst would feel right at home. The sign was the only thing visible from the highway, probably hoping to lure in tired travelers who'd round the bend into the driveway, see the building, and be unable to muster up the energy to escape. I parked between two cars so rusted that I opened my door with extreme caution, afraid a bump would reduce them to a pile of scrap metal. For the first time in years, I locked my old pickup's doors.
I tried to find a front walk, gave up, and cut across the grass. The motel was long and squat. Robin's-egg-blue paint peeled from the stucco... in the places where the stucco was still affixed to the backboard. I stayed on the grass, to avoid walking under the eaves. Portions were held on with duct tape; the remainder crackled in the wind, threatening to fall. In the distance I could see the shiny new sign by the highway, promising "clean, affordable rooms," the vacancy sign blinking with a note of desperation.
No doubt the Blue Sky qualified as affordable, though Jack could afford better - much better. At his tier, he was probably pulling in a hundred grand a hit, tax free, with no dependents and no bad habits to spend it on. His tastes were utilitarian. Working class, Evelyn sniffed. But it meant he had money - lots of it, I was sure - and while the Hilton really wasn't his style, this was well below it. Still, this was the kind of place where you could plunk down cash for a week and no one would ask for a name, much less ID, which was likely its chief attraction.
For the last half hour, I'd been rehearsing these next few minutes. Walking to his door, knocking... "Hey, Jack, sorry to bother you, but Evelyn was concerned. She seemed to think you need a place to hunker down, maybe the lodge - That's what I thought. No, that's fine. I had to go into Toronto today, so this wasn't that far out of my way. Just thought I'd check - No, I understand. Believe me, I'm not here to drag you anywhere you don't want to go. Just making the offer. So I'll be o
n my way. Oh, and I know you haven't been coming around - No, no, that's okay. Time to move on, for both of us. I just wanted to say thanks, and if you ever need anything..."
I still wasn't sure about the last part. I wanted to end on a civil note, but when I heard myself saying that, it sounded as quietly desperate as that blinking vacancy sign.
I stepped around a tower of beer cases - empties. Room fifteen, sixteen... eighteen must be on the end. That would be Jack's choice - easiest to escape.
As for my parting words, I shouldn't leave them so open-ended. Close the relationship door gently but firmly.
"Don't worry about me calling you up for anything, Jack. Better to cut ties completely."
Too defiant? Angry? Hurt?
Shit, I didn't want to sound hurt. Maybe I should stick with open-ended.
The last door was number eighteen, the eight sleeping on its side. I circled wide around the window, so he wouldn't see my shadow pass the drawn drapes, though I doubted Jack was sitting up at 5 a.m. watching for trouble.
I checked the end of the unit. No window or other escape route. Not that Jack would run. If he thought he'd been cornered, he'd greet his guest with a gun to the skull. I'd prefer to avoid that kind of drama so early in the morning.
I returned to the door and took one last survey of my surroundings. The only noise came from the highway.
I knocked, counted to five, and knocked again. The first would wake him. The second would confirm he really had heard a knock. I listened, heard nothing, but didn't knock again. He'd be up. Sitting on the edge of the bed now, listening as he pulled out his gun. Then making his way across the room as silently as he could with his injured foot. A peek through the curtain crack. A whispered curse when he couldn't see who was at the door. Circling around to the other side of that door, so he could watch the window at the same time. Reaching for the dead-bolt...
"It's me, Jack."
A muffled "Fuck" from exactly where I'd pictured him. The chain rattled, but when the door opened, it stopped short, the anchor still in place. The aura of calm I'd spent four hours gathering slipped away.
"Na - Dee."
I could only see a sliver illuminated by the porch light through the door crack. One dark eye. A slice of stubbled cheek. A bare chest. I pulled my gaze back up to the eye.
Jack leaned against the door frame, his gun clacking as it brushed the wall.
"What's up?" he said.
"Not much. I was just driving by and thought I'd stop in, say hi..." I lowered my voice. "What the hell do you think I'm doing here, Jack? Who else knows where you are?"
"Evelyn. Fuck."
He shifted, his hand splaying over the crack, moving not to open the door but to block that gap.
"Look," I said. "If you've got someone in there, just come outside - "
"Someone -? Fuck, no."
"Then open the damned door. I just drove four hours because Evelyn called me last night, freaking out, and I'm not going to stand on the sidewalk whispering."
"Hold on." He undid the chain, opened the door another six inches, but only moved into the gap. "Diner down the road. We'll grab coffee. Talk. Meet me in ten min - "