"I don't care. You're cold and--"
"I'm fine. Fetch your cloak and walk with me, Ash. Please."
FIFTY-TWO
"Have I done something wrong?" Ashyn asked as they circled the fish ponds for the second time.
"Of course not."
"I must have. I've somehow displeased you and now you're punishing me."
"Why would you think--?"
"You just came from a meeting that will change your life, for better or for worse, and from the look on your face, it is clearly not for better. I am obviously beside myself with worry, and I've asked you twice what happened and you haven't even given me the courtesy of a reply. I must conclude that you are angry with me, though I've no idea what I could have done wrong."
"Nothing, Ash. You know that. I . . ." He looked at the pond. "Can we walk a little more?"
"Why? Because you must see the fish a third time? The forest a second? The teahouse a fourth? If you wished to walk and clear your thoughts, then you ought not to have brought me along. I do not appreciate being tortured with silence."
When he smiled, the sparks of anger ignited. "I'm glad you find my discomfort amusing."
"No." He took her hands, ignoring her when she tried to shake him off. "I am simply thinking how the girl I met in Edgewood would not have said that to me. She'd have felt it, but she'd have held her tongue and done what she thought was right."
"If you wish for that girl again--"
"No." He tugged her closer. "I thought that girl was pretty and clever and sweet, but the girl you have become?" He bent until his lips were over hers. "I would never want you to be anything else." He kissed her, lightly, murmuring, "Ash, my Ash. My wonderful, perfect Ashyn."
She let him kiss her. Then she stepped back, still holding his hands. "I'll not be distracted."
An almost sad smile. "I know, as much as I wish you could be. I want to walk with you and talk with you and find secret corners and kiss you and tell you . . ." He looked away.
She dropped his hands. "What happened with the emperor?"
Silence passed long enough that she was about to grow angry again when he said, "I have been pardoned."
She threw her arms around his neck, though in truth, neither had doubted that particular outcome. The law was clear--if an exiled convict survived a winter in the Forest of the Dead, he would be pardoned. Ronan's initial fear had been that he might be thought a party to the massacre. After all that had happened, there was no longer any such possibility. He had not only survived the winter but had been a loyal subject and aide since then.
"I have been paid as well," he said. "Handsomely. I'll be given a house and enough money to set myself up in any business."
"That . . ." She tried to say that, too, was wonderful. But the last part stopped the words in her throat. The last part suggested that, while he'd gotten what they'd expected, he had not gotten what he truly wanted.
"Your family's caste will not be returned to you," she said.
"A caste will. I am no longer without one, nor will my brother and sister have to grow up casteless, and that is what I truly wanted."
No, what he'd dreamed of wasn't simply a caste, but the one that would allow him to carry two blades.
"He will not allow you to be a warrior." She took a deep breath. "All right. We feared that. Giving caste to the casteless is difficult enough."
Ronan said nothing, just took her hand and started walking.
"So it was not enough that your family had once been warriors," she said. "Revoking that is permanent. No matter how long ago it was."
"It was longer ago than I believed. When Tyrus told the emperor, he had his clerks look into their files. That could not have been easy. I did not even know my former clan. My father would claim it was Mujina, Tanuki, Okami, Bakenko, depending on what served his purpose. The clerks knew, though. The stripping of warrior caste is significant enough that it was easy to find, particularly since I am not empire-born."
"So what was it?"
"Tsuchigumo. Which my father never included in that list of possibilities, for obvious reasons."