"Ah," she said. "That explains it, then. Well, I do appreciate the chance to converse."
His cheeks colored, and she wondered if she'd misspoken. It was such a difficult line to tread--not wanting to encourage romantic attentions but not wanting to refuse his friendship either.
Relations between young men and women were so complicated. In this instance, also so ill-timed. There ought to be a universal law that if dire circumstances arose, they happened only to those past the age of romantic entanglements, so
as not to interfere with the more pressing issues at hand.
"I must ask you a question, Ashyn," Simeon said as she craned her neck to look for Moria and Tyrus. "I fear you'll think it impudent."
"Hmm?" she said distractedly.
"It's about the scout. Ronan. What is his caste?"
She tensed. "Yes, that is indeed impud--"
"I know he carries a blade, though he hides it around the warriors. Does the prince know?"
When she didn't reply, Simeon continued, "I am aware that there are men who break the laws in such matters. Mercenaries and bandits. I can see how the imperial family might find use for such men, so I am not questioning--"
"Ronan comes from an old warrior family. Common warriors of low ranking."
It was true, though she did not say Ronan himself was a warrior. She was not certain when his family had lost their caste, only that it had been several generations past.
Simeon's face fell, as if in disappointment, and she felt a prickle of annoyance. Was he hoping to discover Ronan was indeed a bandit or mercenary? He'd never seemed the sort to indulge in scandalous gossip.
"Then I must ask another question," he said after a few moments of riding. "As much as I'd hoped that, in your answer to the first, I could avoid this one." He gripped the reins tighter. "Are you courting?"
"What?"
"I've seen the attention he pays you, and I had hoped he was lowborn, so I might be certain that attention was only the reverence due a Seeker."
She opened her mouth to say that since she could not marry, there was no need to worry what caste her suitors were. But that would imply the answer to the question was yes--they were courting.
"We are friends," she said. "He accompanied me across the Wastes."
"Oh, he is from Edgewood? I did not know that." A slow smile touched his lips. "Well, then, that makes perfect sense. I am glad to hear you are not otherwise involved. He seems somewhat . . . disreputable."
Ashyn stiffened. "He has had a difficult life, and he is not wealthy."
"Yes, of course. I meant no offense. He is your friend, as you said."
They rode a few paces more, and Ashyn checked again for Moria, wondering if she could politely leave Simeon and ride with her sister.
"Is there anyone else?" Simeon asked. "If not Ronan?"
"Hmmm?"
"Are you unattached?"
"Yes," she said. "However, given the current circumstances, I'm not looking to change that--"
"Of course not," he said quickly. "But when this is over, and we are back in the imperial city, I . . . I wish to know you better, Ashyn."
"I--"
He hurried on. "I'm very fond of you. You have a quick mind and a pleasing face. I mean, a pretty face. You are both attractive and accomplished. And kind. You are very kind. I am certain there are many young men vying for your attention, but you seem to enjoy mine, so I'm hoping I'm not being too forward when I ask . . ." His gaze didn't quite meet hers. "If you'll permit me to court you."
She wanted to say yes. Which was a ridiculous answer because she most assuredly did not want that. She wished to agree, because his speech was so sweet and so earnest, and she felt monstrous saying she wouldn't even let him try. Perhaps she expected too much of romance, but she did not want to be with someone when there was no spark.