Olivia hated you--the old you--for what you did to me. She said she hated you the way she'd never hated anyone in her life. But when Pamela tried to kill you, it was Olivia who stopped her. The only person who cared enough to stop her. I didn't. That is the woman you despise, Seanna. Your guardian angel.
And that was why he couldn't tell Olivia about these visits.
She had saved Seanna for him. Because she knew that while in that moment he hadn't cared if his mother died, he also hadn't fully processed the news that she bore the mark of the sluagh. If he had turned his thumb down--voted for death and withdrawn from the room--he would have regretted it.
When it became possible to remove the mark, Olivia had supported this course of action. Take away the mark, return Seanna's soul and let her live out her days in a fae-drugged state.
"You don't ever have to visit her, Gabriel."
"Rose should not be saddled--"
"She won't be. I'll help out. So will the elders. They owe us."
"We'll see how it goes."
In the beginning, it played out as they anticipated. Seanna would wake, and Rose would tend to her. Gabriel and Olivia would visit, like visiting an infirm relative, one not entirely in her right mind. Some days were better than others, but mostly Seanna behaved herself. She took tea with them. Listened to them talk. Seemed to know who they were from visit to visit but occasionally needed Rose's reminder.
Then the night waking began.
If Olivia knew about these visits, she would realize why Gabriel sometimes woke not quite himself. Quiet and subdued, as if struggling with something, telling her it was simply a case weighing on his mind. Olivia would insist on witnessing these visits, and she would not sit there, like Rose, anxiously watching for signs that Gabriel was uncomfortable. One glance at his face and she'd know exactly how he felt.
"Do you remember when we used to go to the park?" Seanna said. "You loved going to the park."
He looked over, startled from his thoughts. Then he replayed her words and tried not to blanch.
Yes, I remember going to the park. I remember that you would drop me off and leave me for hours. More than once, you left me there all night. I believe that started when I was...four? Yes. Four or five, I believe.
"What did we do at the park, Gabriel?" Seanna asked. "I can't quite remember... There were swings, weren't there?"
"Seanna, maybe we should--" Rose began.
"Yes," Gabriel said, unhinging his jaw. "I went on the swings."
He did. He didn't actually swing on them, though. He never understood the attraction--Seanna didn't waste money on toys or waste time encouraging play. He did read, though, quite a lot, and that's what he'd do on those swings.
Gabriel could feel Rose's gaze on him. She knew Seanna wouldn't have played with him in the park, but she might accept the possibility that his mother had watched him play while she conducted business.
Olivia was the only person who knew the truth.
Seanna continued to prattle about parks, and deep in a corner of Gabriel's psyche, he could not help but wonder whether she was taunting him.
They had hypothesized that when Seanna regained her conscience, she would also regain her memories but that those memories would be weak, ephemeral. That did indeed seem to be the case. Seanna knew Gabriel was her son and that they'd been separated when he was a young man. She recalled wisps of their lives together, but if she remembered any of what she'd done to him, she seemed to dismiss it as nightmare. Her damaged mind playing tricks on her. Rose had told Seanna that she'd been in an accident. A terrible one that robbed her of her memories.
And so, to protect what remained of her sanity, it appeared that Seanna willfully chose what she would and would not remember. What she would and would not believe about her past. Instead of remembering that she'd abandoned Gabriel at fifteen, she seemed to think that Gabriel went off to college, and she'd taken a job in another state, and they'd drifted apart.
But now they'd been reunited. Mother and son. And she could not be happier.
"Did you bring me anything?" she asked.
He opened his mouth to say no. To make it very clear that she should not expect more than his presence. And perhaps to subtly hint that she did not deserve more. He had no desire to force Seanna to remember how she'd treated him--he saw no point in it--but he also saw no harm in distancing himself, in suggesting that their past relationship had been...strained.
Strained. There was nothing wrong with that. His relationship with Patrick was occasionally strained and always complicated, yet just because Gabriel would never truly consider Patrick his father did not mean they didn't have a relationship, even a decent one...at least for the time being.
Yes, a past strained relationship seemed the perfect way to resolve this problem. You were not the best mother in the world, Seanna, but I'm here now, and I will support you. I am willing to come and to talk to you, and I believe that should be sufficient.
Yet the moment he opened his mouth to say no, he had not brought her anything, Rose said, "Gabriel brought you a candy bar," and produced a Snickers from her purse. "Your favorite kind."
He had not, of course, brought it. Rose kept a stash of Snickers at home and always carried one in her purse, for just this occasion. He also suspected she sometimes gave Seanna one when Gabriel was not there, saying he'd left it for her.