The moment passed. There was nothing more to be said. It always passed.
I took a deep breath and shone my light around. "This is silly. There's obviously not going to be a working phone in the fun house."
Gabriel shook his head. "Something drew you here."
"Did it?" I threw up my hands, penlight beam pinging over the walls. "Maybe I'm using my visions as an excuse to knock off work for a while because..."
Because of this morning. Because I don't want that bitch to be Seanna, and I'm afraid, I'm really, really afraid, she might be.
"Between your parents' appeal and our normal workload, you haven't had a day off in weeks," Gabriel said. "You're tired, and you need a break. I propose that we agree--both of us--to take this weekend off."
"Uh, didn't you tell me not to make plans because you needed me?"
"I only asked if you had the weekend clear."
"And then said to keep it clear."
"Yes..." He seemed to flounder before coming back with, "Because you need to rest. Ricky is away, so you won't have plans with him, and I would suggest you don't make any plans at all. In fact, I insist on it."
"Okay..."
"You will rest. All weekend. That's an order."
"Uh-huh..."
"For now, though, you will explore this fun house."
"Which is also an order?"
"No, it's a very strong suggestion, backed by the warning that I'm the one with the car keys, and if I stay here, you'll be stranded."
"We're already stranded, remember? You can't drive your car until the air bags are reset."
"Good, then that's settled." He waved down the dark hall. "Onward."
CHAPTER SIX
I left my penlight on as I led us out of the dark maze. It opened into a room that was supposed to have a moving floor. Except the floor, obviously, wasn't moving. Nor was it staying still. With the motor off, the boards slid as soon as I put my foot down.
We crossed slowly and exited into the inevitable mirror maze. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of my adoptive dad. I turned fast and saw myself, at eight, when I'd been here with him, both of us making faces in the mirror. Part of me wanted to look away--even two years after his death, it still hurt too much. Yet a part of me wanted to keep looking, to get my fill of that memory. Then it faded, and I saw only myself, as I was now.
As I turned, I heard a familiar laugh, and there I was again, giggling and goofing around with my father, except this time my father was Todd Larsen. I was a toddler, and he was swinging me around, and even if I couldn't hear what I was saying, I knew exactly what it was--faster, Daddy, faster! And he obliged, as my adoptive dad would later.
Two men who'd been so important in my life. Two fathers I'd loved with all my heart. Two very different men, and yet in some ways the memories felt the same, and that was confusing and unsettling. It also felt unfair to both, but what else did I wish for? That one of those relationships had been strained, like with my adoptive mother? Hellishly complicated, like with my birth mother? Or just plain hellish, like Gabriel's with Seanna?
Gabriel caught up, and I saw us both reflected in the mirror. Only it was us at our first meeting, when he'd cornered me in the shortcut behind my Cainsville apartment. In the reflection, I saw my wary expression and his cool one, those ice-blue eyes hidden behind his shades, his shadow stretching out to me, making him seem even larger. He'd had a proposition. My mother had written a memoir, and while she couldn't profit from it, he reasoned I should. I'd shot him down. Then, a few days later, I hired him as an expert on my parents' case, not to help me prove they were innocent but to convince myself they weren't.
As I turned from the mirror, I saw another image of myself, this time at a fundraising party with James. The fundraising party--a completely forgettable event that was now emblazoned on my memory. We were in the back hall, whispering after we'd escaped for sex. He told me he was considering running for senator--following in his father's footsteps--and all I could think was "I can't do it." I could not be that wife. I was not that person.
Then the call came from my mother, saying she urgently needed me home. I'd spent the car ride trying to figure out how to tell James I might want to go back for my doctorate, definitely wanted to start a career. I'd arrived home to get the news that I'd been adopted, and my world shattered.
Maybe someone else would see that image and say, "You silly fool--you should have been happy with what you had, not whining that you wanted more." But I didn't.
I'm sorry, James. I loved you. I really did. But that wasn't the life for me. I just wish...
Two tears fell before I wiped them away, and I glanced at Gabriel, but he was looking in a mirror. I wanted to ask what he saw, but before I could, I caught another image: me on the back of Ricky's bike, roaring through the hills of the Cabot Trail.
I was holding Ricky tight and grinning and thinking how happy I was, how incredibly happy I was. I had a shitty apartment, a demanding boss, a new job that scared the crap out of me, an adoptive mother who'd abandoned me for Europe and a biological one who was definitely a killer. But my father wasn't a killer. I loved that terrifying new job. I loved Cainsville. And I'd been in love with this amazing guy. What more could I want?