She stood across the room, pointing down. As I walked, I saw broken, rotted boards, from when Ricky and Gabriel had been up here months ago.
The sluagh pointed through the hole. I crouched beside it. At first I saw nothing but darkness below. Then it was as if a peephole opened, drilling all the way down, level after level, until I could, improbably, see two rooms with a wall between them. And in the rooms, two men, action-figure size. I knew who they were, though. I would always know.
"They're fine," she said. "Before you ask."
I wasn't going to. I knew in a glance that they were all right, my anxiety instantly settling.
"Now comes the part--" she began.
"Don't bother."
Her lips tightened, that smug composure rippling.
"I know what comes next," I said. "This is the part where you tell me to choose. We've done this dance before. I remember the steps. You insist. I refuse. You threaten. I continue to refuse."
"The last time--"
"You backed down. Now you'll warn me that won't happen again. I've had time to think about my choice. Here's my decision: take away my cure."
"That isn't one of the options, Eden."
"Why not? You don't need me. You never did." I rose and faced her. "I finally figured it out. There's always that piece that doesn't quite fit, and the temptation is to play two-year-old, smash it in and say good enough. But if you're not two years old, you know it doesn't fit, and that keeps plucking at you, whispering you've missed something. That means you need to re-evaluate. Throw the puzzle in the air and start over."
I took a step toward her. "You say you want me to choose the sluagh. But why? Your reasons are bullshit. No side can force me to choose it. The Cwn Annwn know that. Even the Tylwyth Teg reluctantly admit it. They woo me. You threaten and punish, and you say it'll achieve the same goal, but it won't. Because you don't have the same goal."
I walked to the hole and looked down at Gabriel and Ricky. "The Cwn Annwn and the Tylwyth Teg want Matilda, whatever form she may take. Gabriel and Ricky want me. That's not arrogance. It's confidence. They want to be with me. They love me for who I am--the good, the bad, and the incredibly annoying. Then there was James. He wanted me symbolically. He wanted me for the role I would play in his life. I was, to him, the perfect wife--smart but not a genius, attractive but not gorgeous, cultured but a little bit wicked, too. When I left, he couldn't handle that. Not the loss of me, but the loss of the idea of me. He felt as if he'd lost me to Gabriel and to Ricky. He was like a child watching two other boys argue over a toy and wanting it, too--not because he gives a damn about the toy, but because they want it."
"I'm presuming there's a point to all this reflection?"
"You're that third little boy, watching the other two fight over the toy. You don't actually want me. You just want to take me away from them. You want to win. And then, presumably, use me as leverage to gain whatever it is you really want, which I suspect is nothing more than power."
"Nothing more? What is there if not power?"
"Not a single thing that you'd understand. You are the darkness. You are the unforgiven. You are the end point, the conclusion to all things. There is nothing more. You take life. You consume it. And you do nothing with it except add to your ranks, increase your power. Power for the sole purpose of gaining more. That's all I am to you. A source of power."
"Do you honestly believe you mean more to the others?"
"In my way, I do. The Cwn Annwn were with Gabriel earlier, and they protected him. Ricky has been in and out of Cainsville for months, and the Tylwyth Teg has made no attempt on his life. That would hurt me, which would be counterproductive. You don't give a shit. Your only goal is to break me. Break me. Claim me. Use me. So go ahead. Take my cure. As for making me choose between Gabriel and Ricky? That's the other thing I learned. We need to stick together. If you want them, you have to take them, which will only make me all the more determined to see that you never win."
"Pretty speech, Eden, but I don't actually need you for this part. You're about to have a front-row seat to the conclusion of this silly romantic drama."
I opened my mouth to respond...and she disappeared in a swirl of shadow.
FINALLY
The walls appeared to be solid. While Gabriel was not the one subject to visions--nor even the out-of-body experiences Ricky had with the hound--he was taking nothing at face value. He'd circled the room twice now, methodically searching for a hidden door. That was not merely a desperate and foolish hope, but a very real likelihood, because otherwise, the room had no exit. Which didn't make sense. There seemed little point in constructing a room without a door. Which was exactly what it looked like, solid walls with no hint of a depression where a door had been plastered over.
He'd tried breaking through the plaster, with both fist and elbow. That had won him nothing more than throbbing pain. Which was vexing, both the pain and the fact he'd been unable to break through. Proper plaster should give under the right amount of pressure.
He considered his options, positioned himself, and drew his foot back for a kick--
The only thing you're going to break is your foot.
Gabriel grumbled at the sound of Gwynn's voice.
I couldn't help earlier. Anything I know, you know.
Gabriel tapped at the plaster, looking for a weak spot.