“I don’t love you,” he told her, and again it was so honest. “I’m sorry, Erica, but I don’t. I haven’t done for a long time.”
Another bitter laugh. “Maybe not now,” she said. “But you could. I could make you. Surely it’s worth it? Surely I’m worth it?”
He must have shaken his head, because I heard her suck in breath. Sounding so shocked. So seriously shocked.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “Truly I am, but I can’t do this. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us.” He paused. “And I thought you were seeing Glyn Morris? He’s a nice guy. I’m sure he can keep you amused.”
“I don’t want Glyn fucking Morris!” she yelled. “I want you!”
I really couldn’t believe this was happening, and I felt so bad for being here, overhearing something so private. I looked around the room but there was no way out. I was stuck here, so guilty for hearing her pain.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same.”
His voice was kind and her breaths were so ragged, and it sounded so strange with her like that. Nothing at all like I could ever picture.
I felt so sorry for her, even though she’d always been so nasty to me. I felt like the other woman, even though Miles and I felt so right.
“Is this about someone else?” she said, and this time her voice was so much more gentle.
“Does it even matter what this is about?” he questioned back. “It is what it is, and it’s been a long time coming. I really did think we were long finished.”
“It matters!” she shouted again. “Is there some dirty little bitch taking my place?”
He didn’t say a word, and I wished I could see his face, just to see how he was feeling. How he was truly feeling.
“Erica, it’s over,” he said. “That’s all that matters. We can be friends.” His laugh was trying to be so nice. “We can give the friend zone a go, right? I’m really not that optimistic on how it’s going to pan out, but we can sure give it a shot.”
She didn’t laugh back.
“Who is she?”
He was silent. So silent.
“Seriously, Miles. Who the fuck is she?”
Part of me so much hoped he would tell her. Just confess it was me and be done with it.
But he didn’t.
“Is it Rachel?” she asked. “I’ve seen you talking to her.”
“It’s not Rachel,” he replied. “I barely know the woman.”
“Then who?” she asked again. “Who the fuck has done this to us?”
“Nobody has done this to us,” he said again, so calmly. “This was just us not working out. It happens. It happens to so many people.”
There was another heavy silence, and I got the feeling she was staring at him so hard. I wished I could disappear. Click my fingers and be back in my bedroom at home, leaving them to sort out their private stuff in private.
“You’re half dressed,” she announced, like it was news. “Has she been here? The fucking bitch who’s fucked us over?”
His sigh was steady. “Nobody has fucked us over, Erica.”
“She’s been here, hasn’t she?” she snapped. I heard her heels around the kitchen, and my heart picked up again, so scared she was going to find me here.
But part of me was aching for it. Part of me wanted her to so much. Just for a chance at this. At us.
“Two fucking coffee mugs!” she hissed. “She’s been here with you today, hasn’t she? Is that why you left so early last night? To get back here to her?”
“Erica, this is enough,” he said. “This isn’t helping anything.”
“Oh, yeah?” she said, and then it came. The smash of the mugs on the floor made me jump.
I heard him shout, and I heard the scuffle, and I heard her heels racing so hard.
“Stop it!” he snapped, and his voice was cold this time. “Seriously, Erica, this isn’t fucking getting either of us fucking anywhere.”
And then she cried.
I heard her crying so hard. And it hit me. It hit me in the belly. Because it wouldn’t be long until that was me, hurting so bad at losing him too.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and I knew he was holding her. “I swear I had no idea.”
“Just give us a chance!” she cried, but he was quiet.
My emotions were all over the place, my own pain for her making my eyes fill up.
I wanted him so much. I needed him so much.
But so did she.
It was so obvious that she did too.
“Fuck you, then,” she said through the tears, already sounding so much more like herself. “Fuck you and fuck everything I thought we had, you piece of shit.”
“It doesn’t need to be like this,” he said, but she laughed a vicious laugh.
“You think you’ll be anything without me? You’ll be nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. You’re a filthy piece of shit with your sick fantasies. I was everything to keep you a better man.”