“You should get it,” she said, and stared on through to the dining room. “I can dive in there, just for a minute, just to steer clear of them.”
I nodded, and off she went, but even then it felt so fucking wrong for her to be hiding in this space. A space she belonged in.
I was scowling as I reached the front door, forcing my expression to neutral as I opened it with a yank.
And there she was. A fucking whirlwind. An Erica Tate whirlwind bursting straight past me and right on inside, where she stood with her arms folded across her chest and her heel tapping the floor like a woman on a true fucking mission.
“We need to fucking talk,” she said.Chapter Thirty-FiveFaithI pressed myself to the wall, trying to hide just around the corner of the dining room doorway, feeling so bad about this situation all over again. I didn’t want to be here in this spot. I wanted to be standing proud in his kitchen, us together as us. But I couldn’t be. I wouldn’t even know where to start down that road of terrible hurt and disaster and shock of the whole community.
I heard the mumble of his voice in the hallway, and then came the sound I knew so well from the office. A sound familiar and enough to make my belly flip like a desperate little kid’s as a nasty big bully headed her way.
Erica’s heels rang out loud against the kitchen floor tiles, and I pressed myself even tighter to the dining room wall.
This big bully was full of hate for me. Resentment for me. Full of everything but even the most basic shot at giving it a chance to get to know me. And here she was, heading right into our Sunday. It really would be so typical if she was the one to tear us down.
“What are you doing here?” Miles asked, sounding every bit as frustrated as I was.
“It’s time we got some things out in the open,” she said, and her voice was cold right back at him.
“Speak then,” he said. “Tell me what’s so urgent that it couldn’t wait until work tomorrow.”
I heard her heel take a step forward. “This has nothing to do with fucking work,” she hissed. “It’s about us.”
“There is no us,” he snapped back. “I thought we’d established that a long time ago. What the fuck are you talking about?”
The pause was tense. So insanely tense I could barely breathe.
“Maybe on the surface we said we were done,” she carried on. “But I thought that was bullshit. Just a stupid game, always an illusion, us on and off just like always. I thought we were both used to playing that.”
“You thought wrong.”
His words were so simple. So honest.
“Oh, I did, did I?” she asked, with another wave of coldness. “And what is it that’s suddenly changed all that, huh? What is it that’s made you throw me aside like a piece of shit after all these years?”
The surprise in his voice was so genuine. But he always was.
“We both threw each other aside like pieces of shit, Erica. Constantly. Back and forth, on and off. I thought we were both long done and dusted with our attempts to even stand each other.”
“Maybe for you!” she snapped, and I couldn’t believe I was hearing it. The first time in forever I’d heard any kind of actual emotion in her.
The silence was so heavy that I held my breath.
“This is news to me,” he said finally. “Seriously, Erica this is some fucking news to me. I really didn’t think you gave a fuck.”
Her laugh was so bitter. “Yeah, well. Maybe I didn’t think it myself. Maybe this is news for me too.” She clapped a slow clap. “So, bravo, Miles. We’ve established I do give a fuck. How about we give it another fucking go, for old time’s sake, and maybe this time I’ll be less of a bitch about it.”
Please God no. My heart did a terrible lurch and so did my stomach and I felt sick at the thought of heading away to uni in a few weeks’ time and having to live with them giving it another try.
Because why wouldn’t they? Why wouldn’t Miles move on with something he knew so well when I was gone?
It took everything I had not to charge out there and grab his hand. Everything I had not to tell him I loved him easily as much as she did. More than she did. And that I needed him. Needed a life with him, even if I never went to uni.
I needed him so much more than that.
I could hardly bear to listen to what he might say to her. I put my hands on my tummy and prayed so hard that this wasn’t really happening.