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“Do you want to talk about anything?” he asks.

Do I? I wonder. But I say, “No, not tonight. I can’t make out the mess that is inside of my head.”

“Is there anything I can do?” His voice is so soft in the darkness.

“Scoot closer?” I request, and he does just that.

I’m nervous as I turn on my side to face him. His hand moves up to my cheek, and he rubs his thumb back and forth. His touch is warm and gentle. “I’m glad you’re here with me, and not him,” Zed whispers.

“Me, too,” I respond, having no clue if I mean it or not.

Chapter ninety-four

HARDIN

Landon’s developed quite the attitude since the night he attempted to assault me. He threw a tantrum at the airport when he saw me standing at the baggage claim and realized I was here to pick him up instead of his mum. Karen had agreed to allow me to pick her son up, maybe because she didn’t want to go out after Vance’s party, or maybe because she pities me. I’m not sure either way, but I’m glad she did.

For his part, Landon is flat-out annoyed, claiming that I’m the biggest asshole he’s ever met, and refusing to get into the car with me at first. It took me nearly twenty minutes to convince my lovely stepbrother that riding with me had to be better than walking thirty miles in the middle of the night.

After a few miles of driving in silence, I pick up the conversation where we agreed to let it die back in the terminal. “Well, I’m here, Landon, and I need you to tell me what I should do. I’m split. Right down the fucking middle.”

“Between what and what?” he asks.

“Between leaving here and going back home to England to ensure that Tessa has the life that she deserves, and driving over to Zed’s and fucking murdering him.”

“Where does she fit into the latter of those?”

I look at him and shrug. “I would make her come with me after I murder him.”

“That’s the problem here. You think you can make her do whatever you want, and look where that got you.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean . . .” I know he’s right, so I don’t even try to finish that thought. “But she’s with Zed—I mean, how did that even happen? I can’t fucking see straight thinking about it.” I groan, rubbing my temples.

“Well, maybe I should drive, then?”

Landon is so fucking annoying.

“Hardin, she stayed the night with him Friday and hung out with him all day Saturday.”

My vision literally goes black. “What? So . . . she’s just . . . so she’s dating him?”

Landon traces a pattern on the window. “I don’t know if she’s dating him . . . but I do know that when I talked to her Saturday she said she’d laughed for the first time since you deserted her.”

I scoff. “She doesn’t even know him.” I can’t believe this shit’s happening.

“Not to be a jerk, but you can’t ignore the irony of the fact that you were so obsessed with her being with someone like her, but she ends up seeing someone just like you,” Landon says.

“He’s nothing like me,” I say and try to focus on the road before I end up breaking down in front of Landon. I stay quiet the rest of the ride to my father’s house.

“Did she cry at all?” I finally ask when I pull up to the driveway.

Landon looks at me incredulously. “Yes, for a week straight.” Then he shakes his head. “Man, you have no idea what you’ve done to her, and you didn’t even care. You’re still only thinking about yourself.”

“How can you say that when I’ve done this for her? I’ve kept myself away so that she can move on. I don’t deserve her, you told me that yourself, remember?”

“I do, and I still mean it. But I also think she should be the one to decide what she deserves,” he says with a huff and gets out of my car.

JACE TAKES A PUFF from his joint, then looks at it intensely. “I haven’t really been doing shit lately, just hanging out. Tristan barely comes around anymore; he’s stuck up Steph’s ass.”

“Hmm,” I murmur. I take a sip from my beer and look around his shit apartment. I don’t even know why I came here in the first place, but I didn’t know where else to go. I’m sure as hell not going back to that apartment tonight. I can’t believe Tessa is with Zed—what the actual fuck.

And Landon wouldn’t call Tessa and trick her into coming back to my father’s house no matter how many times I tried to force him to. He’s a dick.

Still, I have to admit I admire his loyalty, but not when it stands in the way of what I want. Landon said I should allow Tessa to make the choice whether she wants to be with me or not, but I know what she’d choose. Well, I thought I did.

I was completely blindsided by Zed picking her up and having spent almost the entire weekend with her.

“What’s going on with you?” Jace asks me, his pot smoke blowing right in my face.

“Nothing.”

“I must say I was pretty surprised to have you show up at my door tonight after what happened the last time I saw you,” he reminds me.

“You know why I’m here.”

“Do I?” he taunts.

“Tessa and Zed. I know you know about it.”

“Tessa? Tessa Young and Zed Evans?” He smiles. “Tell me.”

He needs to wipe that goddamned smile off his face.

After I meet him with silence, he shrugs. “I don’t know anything about it, honest.” He takes another drag, and small flakes of the white paper fall onto his lap, not that he seems to notice.


Tags: Anna Todd After Young Adult