“Hey,” he says when he walks into the living room.
“Hey.” I smile.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks me, and I nod.
Zed was incredible last night. He didn’t even blink when I asked to sleep on the couch. He listened to me talk about Hardin and how it had all gone wrong. He told me how he cares for Rebecca but now doesn’t know what to do because he’s always thought about me, even after meeting her. I felt guilty for the first hour while crying to him, but as the night went on, the tears turned to smiles, which shifted to laughs. My stomach literally hurt from laughing about stupid memories from our childhoods by the time we decided to go to bed.
It’s nearly two in the afternoon now, the latest I think I’ve ever slept, but that’s what happens when you stay up until seven in the morning.
“Yes; you?” I stand and fold the blanket he lent me. I vaguely remember him draping it over me while I drifted off to sleep.
“Same.” He grins and sits on the couch. His hair is wet, and his skin is glistening like he just got out of the shower.
“Where should I put this?” I ask him, referring to the blanket.
“Wherever; you didn’t have to fold it.” He laughs.
My mind goes to the closet in the apartment and how Hardin shoves random things in there just to drive me insane.
“Do you have anything going on today?” I ask him.
“I worked this morning, so no.”
“Already?”
“Yeah, from nine to noon.” He smiles. “I basically only went in to fix my truck.”
I forgot that Zed works as a mechanic. I don’t really know much about him at all. Except that he has pretty good stamina if he can sleep two hours and then work like that.
“Environmental studies prodigy by day, grease monkey by night?” I tease, and he chuckles.
“Something like that; what are your plans?”
“I don’t know. I need to get something to wear to my boss’s dinner party tomorrow.” For a moment I think about asking Zed to come along, but that would be wrong. I’d never do that; it would make everyone uncomfortable, including myself.
Zed and I had come to an agreement that we weren’t going to push anything. We’re just going to spend time together and see where it goes. He isn’t going to push me to move on from Hardin; we both know that I need more time before I can consider dating anyone. I have too much to figure out—like finding somewhere to live, for starters.
“I can come along if you want? Or maybe we could see a movie later?” he asks nervously.
“Yeah, either one is fine.” I smile and check my phone.
No missed calls. No text messages. No voicemails.
Zed and I end up ordering pizza and hanging out for the majority of the day until I finally leave to go back to Landon’s to take a shower. On my way back I stop by the mall right before it closes and happen upon the perfect red dress with a square neckline; it rests just above my knees. It’s not too conservative but not too revealing either.
By the time I get back to Landon’s, there is a note on the counter next to a plate of food that Karen put aside for me. Her and Ken went to a movie and will be back soon, it says.
I’m relieved to have the place to myself even though when they’re there, I don’t really notice because the house is so large. I take a shower and put on pajamas before lying down and forcing myself to catch up on my sleep.
My dreams shift back and forth between green- and golden-eyed boys.
Chapter eighty-seven
TESSA
Eleven days. It’s been eleven days since I’ve heard from Hardin, and it hasn’t been easy.
But Zed’s company has surely helped.
Tonight is the dinner party at Christian’s, and all day I’ve become increasingly afraid that being around the familiar faces there will remind me of Hardin and knock at the walls that I’ve been building. All it will take is one small crack and I’ll no longer be protected.
Finally, when it’s time to go, I take a deep breath and check myself one last time in the mirror. My hair is the same way it always is, down and curled in loose waves, but my makeup is darker than usual. I slide Hardin’s bracelet over my wrist; even though I know I shouldn’t be wearing it, I feel naked without it. It’s such a part of me now, the way he is . . . was. The dress looks even better today than it did yesterday, and I’m grateful that I’ve gained back the few pounds that I lost during the first few days of barely eating.
“I just want it back the way it was before. And I just want to see you back at my front door . . .” The music plays as I grab my small clutch purse. After one more beat, I pull the buds out of my ears and place them inside.
When I meet Karen and Ken downstairs, they’re dressed to a T. Karen is in a long blue-and-white-patterned gown, and Ken is wearing a suit and tie.
“You look so lovely,” I say to her, and her cheeks flush.
“Thank you, dear, so do you.” She beams.
She is so sweet. I’m going to miss seeing her and Ken so often when I have to leave.
“I was thinking that sometime this week we could go out to the greenhouse and work a little?” she asks me as we walk to the car, my nude heels clanking loudly on the concrete driveway.
“I would love to,” I tell her and climb into the back of their Volvo.
“This will be so much fun. We haven’t been to a party like this in a while.” Karen takes Ken’s hand in hers and places it on her lap as he pulls out of the driveway.
Their affection doesn’t make me envious, it reminds me that people can actually be good to each other.