“Damn right,” Ghost slams his hand down on the table.
“I don't care what y'all think of me for this. I know I'm a paranoid fuck. But I almost lost my daughter to cunts we believed weren't as much of a threat as they were. I will never risk another woman's life if I can help it. No matter how small the risk.”
“You're doing the right thing, Prez.”
Shepard tips his head at Gunner, big bastard of a guy. Loyal as fuck to every member of this club.
“Right, just one woman left to convince.”
“And who's that, Jett?” Whoever it is we have to convince her to go. But short of kidnapping her – which we'd never do after the hell Willow went through – there's not much else we can do. We can't force anyone to do anything they really don't want to do. Although I know Jett will if he feels it's what's best for them.
“Willow.” My eyes dart to Jett. Did he just say Willow?
“When we spoke to her this mornin' she told us in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't be going anywhere. She doesn't give a damn about anyone hurting her. The girl's crazy.”
“Why would she refuse to go? She has to know this is for the best, that she'll be safer at the compound than here where anything can happen to her? She of all people should know what could happen.”
“I don't know, Tank, but I can't have her...” I tune them out.
Shit, this is all my fault. She won't go because of what I said to her. I made her think I regretted saving her. Fuck! I was angry but I didn't fuckin' mean it. She thinks I blame her for Cindy's death. I don't blame anybody but me.
Yeah, I'm pissed that she didn't tell me that she was with Cindy the day she was taken. I still don't understand that at all. But she has to know that if she'd died that day, the day Crack slit her throat, it would have killed me all over again. She's the only bit of light left in my life. The only thing that keeps me from losing myself to the darkness completely.
Then why be such a cruel bastard to her, asshole?!
“Hammer!”
“What?” Shit, I wasn't paying attention, again. I wouldn't be surprised if Shepard kicks my ass right now.
“You're no good to me like this. I need your mind on what's going on. Whatever the fuck is on your mind, let it go, before you get yourself or one of us killed!”
“You're right, Prez. I'm sorry. I'm one hundred percent focused, I swear it.” He gives me a concerned look before finally nodding.
“Get the women packed up and ready to leave for the safe house by nightfall, I want them all on lockdown as of right now. Drive your ladies down in the trucks. The rest of you will follow on your bikes. I will not lose another woman to fuckers who think they can threaten this club. As for those cunts? As soon as I have all the info, we'll attack. I want those bastards wiped off the face of the fucking earth. We are the Mother Charter, I want them to know exactly who the fuck they're dealing with!”
The cheers are deafening. I'd join in if I could find the enthusiasm. But all I can think about is getting to Willow and making her understand.
I've been searching for her for hours. Fuckin' hours and she's nowhere to be found. I'd told Shepard that I'd talk to her about going to the safe house. I will not fuckin' leave her behind. I will not lose her! I said some mean shit to her, but there is nothing I won't do to protect her.
I've called the few friends she still talks to, none of them have seen her. She's not with her parents or her brother, the last place to look is Nova and Tank's.
My brother opens the door and leads me into the modern kitchen with all the mod cons that Nova insisted on and hands me a bottled beer from the huge ass fridge. She's here, I can hear her talking with Nova in the next room. That alone eases my weary mind.
“Thanks for callin' and lettin' me know she was here,” I state sarcastically.
“She's been here five minutes. I was about to let you know when you knocked on the door.”
“She goin' with the others?” He shakes his head. “Why the fuck is she being so damn stubborn?”
“I don't know, brother. Something must have happened. I haven't seen her this deflated in weeks. I thought she was getting on with things. Moving forward, ya know?” I nod my head, even though I have a damn good idea what's bugging her.
Yeah, you, you cunt!
“She has to go, Hammer. We can't have her left behind while we're fightin' these motherfuckers. I thought Willow of all people would have been the first one to agree to go.”
Yeah, unless she's hoping to be taken again, hoping they kill her this time so she can finally be free of the guilt she carries. This isn't the way, dammit!
Maybe the only way for either of us to move forward, to finally let go of the guilt, is to be together. I've denied what I feel for her long enough. And no matter how angry I am with her for not telling me the truth about Cindy, I won't let her fuck with her own life like this. I don't give a shit what I have to do, she's going into hiding with the rest of the women or so help me!
“I'll make her go.”
“You can't make her do anythin', Hammer.”
“Wanna bet?” I lean forward, dropping my beer on the oak table in front of me. “She's my old lady, she'll do exactly what I tell her to.”
“Your old lady?” He looks at me skeptically. “Are you kiddin'? Since when?”
“Since right now.” I'm out of the room before he can say anything else.
I rip open the living room door, both girls jump a mile at the sudden invasion. My eyes lock with Willow's, she looks fuckin' terrified of me. I never wanted to see that look in her eyes. I don't want her to be scared of me. Not me.
I rake my eyes over her body, tight jeans, tank top, a choker around her neck, hair in a scruffy bun. Sexy as fuck!
“Hammer, is there a problem?” I don't even look at Nova, I'm not interested in her at all. She's a good friend, but she's my brother's soon-to-be wife and I don't need her interfering right now. Even if Willow is her sister.
I grab Willow's arm, physically lifting her off the couch and dragging her from the room whimpering in fear. I don't wanna scare her, but I need her to listen to me and listen good. I cannot, and will not, allow her to fuck with her life like this.
I vaguely hear Tank telling Nova not to get involved, that it's between Willow and me. But I'm not bothered at all about either of them.
Willow yanks on my hand, trying to get me to let go. This little slip of a woman has no chance against a man my size. “Stop fighting me, Will, it won't help you right now.”
“What are you going to do to me?” She all but whispers, stopping me in my tracks.
I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. She thinks I'm going to hurt her. I would fuckin' cut my own hands off first!
“Get on the bike.” She shakes her head, fear swimming in her eyes. I relax my stance a little, letting the tension fall from me. I will not have Willow scared of me. Not her.
I smile softly at her. “I just want to talk to you.” I tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “There's a lot for us to talk about, don't you think?” She bites her lower lip nervously and nods her head in agreement. “Put this on.” I hand her the spare helmet from the back of my bike. I buckle it up for her as soon as it's on.
Her little hands clutch my waist tightly as we travel along the open road. Where the hell am I taking her? I don't even know. I just need to ride as fast as I can for a while. Her fingers flexing on my abs has me hard as nails. Dammit, they don't call me Hammer for nothing.
Okay, the size of my dick is not why they call me Hammer. But the fact I fuck with the force of a jackhammer and kill with the power of one twice as hard.
I love this woman, I can't deny it any longer. I want her safe. I want to be the man who puts a smile on her face every day. I want to be the man who dries her tears when she's sad. If I could take her hand in mine right now, I would.
Cindy wouldn't thank me for punishing Willow for what happened. She wouldn't want Willow hurt either. That gir
l loved Willow like a sister. Hell, they were as close as. They would have done anything for each other. She'd be ashamed of me if she knew how I'd treated Willow and what I'd said to her.
Somewhere inside me, I always thought Cindy helped me keep Willow alive that day. I felt her strength, her hand on mine around Willow's throat. I heard her voice in my ear telling me not to let go, that she wouldn't leave me or Willow. She'd keep us both safe. I had no idea then if I was going crazy, but I fully believe it helped me cope.
But after that day, I felt even more guilt inside of me. I realized that I was in love with Willow – yeah, I'm admitting it – and I hated myself for it because I felt like a traitor to Cindy.