Lev licks her slow but steady, rubbing his tongue around her clit and kneading her breasts. She moans, her hips rolling into his mouth, hungry for more. Another flash goes off as we watch them, silently tucked away and hidden.
“I love you,” I say, clutching the bottle.
I’m glad when he doesn’t respond, because I need to say this now that we’re alone.
“What’s my worth if I keep you from having the one thing most people really want?” I pause, staring at the scene but barely paying attention. “I couldn’t lose you, Michael.”
I take another sip, remembering that first taste all those years ago.
“I couldn’t lose you, but I couldn’t marry you, either,” I tell him. “Not under a lie.” I draw in a deep breath despite the tears lodged in my throat. “I just wanted to be able to love you as long as possible, because I don’t want you to give up your chance to have children, and I don’t know if I can cope not being able to give them to you. I feel like shit. All the time. I can’t stomach the thought of you having a family with anyone else, but I don’t want to make you unhappy, either.”
I’m hurting.
He’s still silent, and I don’t know if I’ve explained myself or if I make any sense.
He takes the bottle from my hand, and I hear the liquid slosh as he tips the bottle back for a drink. I wait, because everything hinges on hearing his voice.
“I knew you were in my truck that day,” he says in a low voice.
I blink. What?
“I saw the backdoor open in the rearview mirror,” he explains. “And then I saw it close.”
In his truck…?
And then it hits me. Devil’s Night so long ago when I snuck into his truck to follow him and his friends. The same one where he let me try his beer for the first time.
“You weren’t old enough for everything,” he continues, “but you were old enough for some things, and I couldn’t wait anymore. It was always there. Since we were kids.”
Ms. Chen’s moans and whimpers fill the engine room as she holds Lev’s mouth to her pussy, their pace and breathing growing stronger and faster.
“Sometimes, I thought I wanted to touch you,” Michael whispers, and I feel it on the top of my hair. “Other times, I thought I wanted to kill you. I didn’t know if it was love or hate, but I knew it would change my life.”
“Slower, Lev,” Alex tells him, snapping a photo.
But he argues. “Come on, she tastes so good.”
“Like this.” Alex leans in, kissing Ms. Chen and Lev follows her lead, both of them devouring the young woman.
“Oh, my God,” Chen pants, arching her back off the table.
I close my eyes, the memory of those same sounds coming back to me. “And you found me at St. Killian’s, just like this,” I say to Michael. “You took me downstairs, blindfolded me, and we heard things, just like this.”
Chen groans, panting harder, and I can tell she’s about to come.
&n
bsp; “I loved your world,” I whisper.
“You wanted to see so badly that day in the catacombs.” The heat of his body warms my skin. “I even think part of you wanted to be her. To experience it all.”
“I wanted anything with you,” I reply, opening my eyes. “I wanted to let it all happen.”
Samara’s body bobs back and forth, her back arching again and again as Lev buries his mouth in her pussy and she gets closer. Her moans fill the room, growing louder and faster.
“I wish I could go back to that night,” I tell Michael. “I would’ve tried not to get in that truck. I would’ve tried not to steal all this time from you.”
Tears burn behind my eyes. I’m a burden to him. I feel like I’m making his life worse.