“Hey, sweetie,” she chirped, trying to sound energetic. I knew she was anyth
ing but, however, she tried to put up a good front for me. Between the tranquilizers that kept her numb and the fact that she almost never left the house, I knew the guilt that weighed on her was starting to exceed the depression.
“I’ll be home soon,” I told her, nodding a thanks to Mrs. Haynes, the Crists’ cook and setting the plate down on the counter as I left the kitchen. “Are you up for a movie tonight? We could re-watch Thor again. I know you like his hammer.”
“Rika!”
I snorted, walking into the dining room and seeing the table already set for dinner. “Well, then pick a new movie to download,” I suggested. “We still haven’t eaten over here yet, but as soon as we’re done I’ll change my clothes and head back home. I’m bringing you a plate.”
Even though I knew she’d barely eat any of it. Her appetite barely existed anymore.
Trevor had dropped me off at home earlier this afternoon, but after I’d checked on my mom, I’d trailed back down the road to the Crists for dinner. My mother was always welcome, of course, but it was only me who ever joined them. No one wanted me eating alone, so my mom, out of guilt, allowed me to have meals here for some conversation and laughter. The Crists could give me what she couldn’t.
Or what she refused to give me.
Over time, though, my need to be here became stronger. More than just for dinner or to play video games with Trevor growing up.
It was for the distant sound of a basketball thumping against a floor somewhere in the house or the way my body would hum and every hair would stand on end when he walked into a room. I just liked being here if he was here, despite Trevor’s growing possessiveness.
I heard my mother sigh as I walked up to the mirror hanging on the wall.
“I’m fine,” she insisted. “You don’t need to bring a plate tonight. Go out with your friends. Please.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but then the dull beat of the music in the house suddenly died, and I jerked my head to the doorway of the dining room, hearing voices and laughter coming from somewhere in the house, getting closer.
I glanced in the mirror, fixing the collar of my school uniform, making sure my scar was mostly hidden.
“I don’t want to go out,” I said, heading to the table and sitting down.
“I want you to go out.”
Leaning over the table, I grabbed a roll and put it on my plate before the boys took them all. “Mom—” I started to argue.
But she cut me off. “No,” she said, sounding unusually stern. “It’s Friday night. Go have some fun. I’ll be fine.”
“But…” I trailed off, shaking my head. Was this her overcompensating or something? She knew damn well I went out, just maybe not as much as she would like.
“Fine,” I drawled. “I’ll call Noah and see…” But then I stopped, hearing thunder roll down the hallway.
My heart picked up pace, and I turned my head toward the noise. Voices, laughter, and a couple of howls drifted in, and my feet soaked in the vibration off the floor.
I gripped the phone in my hand, speaking quickly, “Okay,” I answered. “I’ll see what Noah’s up to tonight, but if I need bail money or I come home pregnant, you only have yourself to blame.”
“I trust you,” she replied, sounding amused. “And I love you.”
“Love you, too.” And I hung up, setting the phone on the table.
Trevor walked in the dining room first, having been in the media room, probably waiting for me to join him like I often did. He thought he had a right to be angry, but whatever he thought was between us, we were still just friends. He had no right to take me out of there today, and I was sick of him putting on a show to everyone like I belonged to him.
He took the seat next to me, as usual, pulling out the chair and plopping down. He immediately started grabbing food to load onto his plate.
Mrs. Crist walked in next, dressed in a tennis skirt and a white Polo, probably having just come from the club. She smiled at me and touched my shoulder as she walked to her seat. “How’s Christiane?” she asked.
I nodded, laying my napkin in my lap. “Fine. We’re working our way through all of Chris Hemsworth’s movies.”
She laughed and started serving herself as loud voices started to fill the room.
“It’s already dark out,” I heard Will say, sounding out-of-breath.