I was next.
I took a deep breath, locked eyes with Sully and nodded.
I could do this.
“Portia Collins,” the Elder spoke. “It is now your turn to get the Mark of the Order.”
Sully impatiently waited for the artist to wrap his tattoo, and then he stood up and took my hand. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I would understand if you said no and wanted to turn back.”
I pulled away so I could stare directly into his eyes. I needed him to see how serious and determined I was. “A tattoo is not going to stop me.”
I sat down in the chair Sully had just been in and sought comfort in the heat of the seat left from him. I was ready to get this over with, but the tattoo artist stood up and gathered his equipment to leave.
In confusion, I looked at the Elders. Wasn’t I getting a tattoo, too? They’d just said it was my turn for me to get my mark, that I was next.
But then, one of the Elders walked over to the fireplace and pulled out the long handle of a metal poker that I hadn’t even noticed nestled in the hottest embers of the fire. On the tip of the metal was a brand of two crossed sabers.
“Absolutely fucking not!” Sully shouted, clearly seeing what I saw but comprehending it quicker than I did. “You aren’t burning her. No fucking way.”
I choked as soon as I got it. They actually wanted to— They were going to— To—
But I couldn’t even finish the thought before Sully was storming the Elder and knocking the poker out of his hand in rage.
“Sully VanDoren,” an Elder from behind me called out. “You will contain your anger or lose this Trial and the Initiation will be over, causing both you and Miss Collins to leave the Oleander as losers.”
Hearing the threat was enough for me to shoot out of the chair and rush to Sully before he ruined everything for the both of us. No, he couldn’t! I couldn’t let him!
“Sully,” I reached for both of his hands. “Sully,” I all but shouted when he seemed to not even notice I was standing in front of him. His eyes were focused on the Elders like he was plotting each of their deaths… in detail. Gory detail. Crap. I had to get through to him. “We aren’t going to let them win. Remember?”
His furious eyes refocused on me. “You are not going to sit there and get branded like some sort of cattle. I won’t allow it.” He glanced at the Elders and then back at me. His glazed eyes focused on my face. “Tell me how much money you want. I’ll write you a check right now so we can get out of this place and never look back.”
Oh, Sully. I shook my head. “What about you? What about what you’re here for?”
“Fuck it all. There are some things not worth it. And this is too much. It’s fucking sick!”
I squeezed his hands in hope I could somehow lend some of my sanity to his out-of-control rage. “They can’t break me.”
That I knew. Not when so much was at stake. I’d never let them. “And they can’t break you.” At least I prayed not.
But no, looking at his fury, his iron rage and will—I knew they’d never break him. Who could stand against Sullivan VanDoren and win?
He yanked his hands out of mine. “I just said I would pay you whatever it is you want. I have the fucking money!”
“It’s not about the money,” I countered, hoping that the Elders were not going to deem this Trial a failure because we were taking too long to act.
“Sully,” I lowered my voice, hoping he would hear my urgency. “We need to do this.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he shouted. I wasn’t sure if he was saying the words to me, to the Elders, or to all of us. Probably all of us. Or maybe he was shouting it at God. “Branding, Portia! They’re trying to fucking brand you!”
I needed to act quickly. There was no way I was going to be able to convince Sully that we should do this, and the more we stood there, the more at risk we were of the Elders pounding their stupid canes and announcing the Trial was over.
So, I did what was necessary. Just like I always did.
I was not my fucking father.
I stayed. I did the difficult thing. I made the difficult choices because I knew what love was.
I walked over to the cooling red-tipped poker on the ground and picked it up. I handed it to the Elder who had first held it.
“Go ahead and do it,” I said, extending my wrist. “Get it over with.” My voice only trembled the slightest bit.