“You’re the man you are because of your father. You wouldn’t be nearly as strong, capable, or determined if it weren’t for the fact that you wanted to prove something to him. Your need and want is what gave you all the power.”
She turned her head and looked at me directly in the eyes. “I’m proud of you. I know I’m not your father, but I am so very proud, and I hope that means something to you.”
“Mama, of course—”
“Hush, let me finish.” She grasped my hands. “I’m not just proud of all the accomplishments you have achieved on the surface. You are a good, good man. Your soul. Your heart. Your mind. I raised a man who can’t be topped. You are a true Southern gentleman in every sense of the meaning.”
“I don’t believe you would think so if you truly knew what I will be expected to do in these trials.” I wasn’t even completely sure what would be required myself—future recruits were only allowed in on some of the Invitation events—but I knew enough through rumors and dark tales to know it wouldn’t be something a mama would be proud of.
“I know more than you think, and I want to stop you right now if you even for a second start feeling guilt. Those women who attend the ball, and the woman you choose to go through the trials with you are not forced. They know exactly why they are there. The Order of the Silver Ghost are the kingmakers and the dreammakers You will walk out of that manor a king.”
Her fingers clutched around mine. “That woman will walk out of there with her dreams come true. She is there because she chose to be. Chose to. I want you to remember that.”
The kingmakers and the dreammakers. How true that was.
“What if I’m asked to do something I am morally against?”
Her jaw tightened as her eyes darkened. “You will be.”
“You said it yourself, that I’m a good man,” I reminded. “Am I supposed to just forget that part of me because of the Order?”
She shook her head. “There is a very fine line between good and evil. Everyone has a seat in their soul for the Devil. The trials will pull the chair out and invite the dark angel to sit.”
She leaned forward. “And though the man you go in the manor as tomorrow will be pushed to a breaking point, and you will indeed tango with the demons inside of you, you’ll come out mightier and more in tune with the real person you are. You’ll see the completed portrait. All the shades and shadows blended with the light from before.”
“And the poor woman who agrees to this? What about her?” It felt freeing and slightly scary to even ask the questions out loud, hesitations I hadn’t even admitted to myself. It had always been like this with my mother. She was the one person on earth I could say anything to. “Maybe she’ll have no idea what her acceptance to the invitation really means.”
“True. She has no idea. Not really. But that’s the point. She’ll also have to dance with the demon. And the goal will be to break her. Shatter the woman she believed herself to be. She won’t be the belle of the ball without having to earn it. And the price is high.”
I sighed, hating the Order, despising tradition, and loathing my lineage for the first time. Why couldn’t I just be handed the family business like a normal man who had earned the title?
Why couldn’t my father just pat me on the back and tell me how honored he was to have his son right by his side?
Instead, I had to go through this ritual of sin.
“I want you to remember something, Montgomery. Every little girl grows up loving the fairytale of Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast. They all want their Prince Charming and their happily ever after. Some women will never get that perfect narrative. For many, it will simply be nothing more than a childish bedtime story. When the invitations are sent out to all the surrounding counties, though, this is so many young ladies’ chance at being plucked from nothing and given everything they ever dreamed of. It’s win-win.”
I nodded silently, agreeing with that statement.
“And yes, what the Order does to them… what you will do to someone… may have them walk down a very dangerously corrupt lane. But keep reminding yourself that there will be a happily ever after for that woman in the end.”
“Would you have done it before marrying Father? Accepted an invitation?”
She chuckled, her eyes drifting back to the willow tree as if gazing back into the past. “I was a rich Southern belle by birth. My path was already chosen for me. Unlike those women who get the invites, I didn’t get to choose my fate. Wealth, arrangements, and the Southern way did that for me.”