But she was even more wow.
‘I’m going to shower.’ He danced his fingertips across her collarbones, bending to kiss the side of her neck.
‘Oh.’ She sighed deeply.
Seeing her melt was gratifying.
‘You want to join me?’ He pulled her back towards him so he could kiss lower down her neck.
‘Mmm. It’ll boost my energy.’
He teased her into the bathroom. It was as amazing as the rest of her flat—antique glass bottles were filled with soaps and lotions and lined up along the shelf, and there were random things in unexpected places. But the shower and basin units were gleaming white, the towels huge and soft and inviting. It was feminine but not fluffy, simple and yet stamped with her quirk. He liked that she’d made a little luxury sanctuary for herself. He also liked it that she ran the water as hot as he did. Watching her enjoy it was almost as sensational as feeling her explode around him. Combining the two was insane.
‘Let me.’ He rubbed her scalp and twisted her hair into froth covered crazy shapes.
Afterwards she pulled on some clothes and didn’t bother doing her hair, just went straight back to park in front of her computer and disappeared off into concentration land. Refusing to feel surplus to requirements, Jack prowled into the kitchen, his stomach telling him sustenance was necessary sooner rather than later. The contents of her cupboards weren’t inspiring.
‘I’m going to the shop, Kelsi. Anything you want?’
She shook her head and didn’t take her eyes from the screen. ‘No, I’m fine.’
He walked down to the local supermarket, enjoying the heat of the sun on his back and the prospect of another lazy afternoon in bed. His phone chimed. He checked the screen and grimaced. But this time he had to take the call he’d been avoiding all week.
‘Hi, Pete.’ His friend and sometimes coach. Calling in coach capacity this time for sure.
‘Heard from Tahu.’ Pete didn’t muck about. ‘He said you were cutting some moves on the dance floor the other night.’
‘Yeah.’ Jack nodded. No denying that.
‘The knee’s all good now?’
No denying that either. ‘A lot better, yeah.’
‘So why are you there when the snow’s here?’
Good question.
‘I thought you said it was going to take a lot more than a couple of weeks?’
That was the ‘official’ reason he’d given to come back to New Zealand—to take the time to really let his knee heal. But it was all about Kelsi and it always had been. He’d pretended it was the knee for his own sanity—but he knew he was all insane for her. Now, even more.
‘Life’s gotten a little complicated, Pete,’ was all he could say.
‘Well, it’s your call, but we’re here to work if you want to join us.’
‘Great. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.’ He shoved the phone in his pocket and strode out. Frustrated the end loomed so much sooner than he’d wanted to acknowledge. But it had to end. He had an obligation not just to himself, but to the team sponsors, to the sport itself. He had to get back to work.
This thing between Kelsi and him wasn’t anything more than a completion of the fling they’d begun on the beach that day, right? And they’d be friends who’d get on well for the sake of their child.
But he didn’t feel ‘friendly’ towards her. He felt protective and passionate and out of control. He wanted her all the more instead of less. And now his body felt as if it were being torn apart with its conflicting desires.
The only way to deal with it was to put a time limit on it—force it to a close. He’d book his ticket for the end of the week and then maximize these last few days. That would see it out—surely.
He stared sightlessly across the supermarket car park. Decision made. But he didn’t want to tell Kelsi. Not just yet. He didn’t want to ruin the fragile peace that had built between them. Sleeping together again had been the best thing for them to do, but also the worst—because it had only proven how fantastic they were together. Leaving wasn’t going to be that easy at all. Not for him.
But for her? He really wasn’t sure. He knew she liked the sex between them, but he didn’t know how she really felt about him. Maybe the sex was all it was.
Kelsi was a strong woman—stronger than he’d first thought. And maybe she’d been right that night they’d found out about the baby—she didn’t really need him.
And she didn’t really want him.
And he didn’t want to ask. For the first time ever in his life, he felt unsure of something. He’d always had such complete confidence—he needed it to do what he did. But understanding Kelsi? He figured he’d find out when he told her he was leaving.
All the more reason to delay doing that a little.
He had to leave believing he was doing the right thing. It was the only way he could. And he was sure he was—he would leave her in the care of the best doctors money could buy, set up in a beautifully restored home…safe.
He didn’t bother going into the supermarket after all. His appetite had been crunched.
Kelsi got used to having him in her bed way too easily. The next couple of nights were filled with hedonistic pleasure. Food, fun, frolics. She left work early—hurrying home to see him again. Amazed at the way his hunger inflamed hers.
And he was unbelievably hungry. The stamina of the professional athlete was something to be in awe of. There was no end to it. And it only got hotter.
They lazed across the bed in the evening, surrounded by the initial plans that the architect and Alice the interior decorator had come up with for the redesign of the shell downstairs, laughing about how they’d underestimated her. The design ideas were fantastic.
Finally Kelsi felt excited about the future. With a few twists here and there, the ground floor was going to become a beautiful home. She chose to forget about the flat that would be left upstairs. She chose to ignore all the questions that whispered in the back of her mind. She chose to be swept away by the furious passion he ignited. And he did it so often, with a fierce kind of determination. Keeping them busy—in bed, at play on the skateboard, ever so occasionally letting them sleep.
Jack pulled her close and took her as if he were about to board a ship and face six months’ celibacy. Which he was. But it was so much more than this that he was going to miss. He wanted to be with her as the house was put back together, wanted to laugh with her, wanted just to be with her.
Every hour he knew he ought to say something. But every hour he waited made it worse and he couldn’t and he was so angry with himself for feeling wrong about something that was right.
That was it—the dream he’d been chasing all his life. He had to go.
And, he figured, how she reacted would be his final answer. Whether she wanted him for something more, or whether this was simply fun sex with a few complications. Complications that for him were becoming increasingly awful.
On Thursday morning Jack was out of bed hours before she was. He’d made her a light breakfast as he had every morning since they’d come together again. But he didn’t touch the toast he had on his own plate. ‘Kelsi.’
She glanced at him, surprised and silenced by the pale tension in his face.
‘I’m flying to Canada on Friday.’
She swallowed back the excess spit that had just surged in her mouth and clamped down on her muscles. Now was not the time for morning sickness. ‘Next week?’
‘No. I
mean tomorrow.’
She reeled in disbelief. Started to giggle—but it died before it bubbled from her lips because he was looking horribly serious. ‘When did you book the ticket?’
‘Monday.’
So he’d known most of the week? ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
He stood up from the table but didn’t walk. ‘I—’
‘Didn’t want to.’ That was obvious. So only twenty-four hours out from his departure he was landing it on her. She supposed she should be grateful for even that long. It could have been only a couple. She tried not to let panic clutch hold of her. ‘How long will you be gone for?’
‘Three or four months.’
Wow. She pushed her plate of toast away. Here it was—that future she’d been ignoring. She’d known. His knee was better, he was increasing his exercise.
But she just hadn’t believed it. She’d got dazzled by the intensity of their togetherness in the last few days. Had actually started to think his insatiable hunger and need to be near her might mean something more.
But all it had been was him making the most of things before he went away. Having the fun while he could. But he’d have fun over there, too—he was going off with his mates and the snowbunnies and temptation and she was as jealous as hell. And hurt.
He was leaving her. Of course he was leaving her. Had she been so stupid to think that he wouldn’t? Yes, she had.
Three or four months meant he’d be away when she had her scan. Her baby’s first photo and he wouldn’t be there. The first of a million milestones that he’d miss. Just as her father had missed most of hers.
Her baby deserved better.