Javier stared at her and slowly shook his head. ‘Emerald, I wasn’t questioning your capability as a mother.’
‘No?’ She was so hurt by his action. ‘Isn’t that exactly what that was?’
‘I didn’t mean it to be, but I can understand that it might have come across as offensive. I just...’ A grim expression tightened his face as he trailed off.
Emmy stared at him impatiently. ‘You just what?’ She shook her head when he still didn’t respond. ‘See?’ His so controlled reticence infuriated her. ‘You just don’t trust me.’
His expression tightened and he stepped forward. ‘I feel compelled to know everything,’ he ground out with clear reluctance.
She paused as she heard the raw edge to his admission. ‘About Luke?’ she clarified softly. ‘You can ask me,’ she assured him quickly. ‘Ask me anything. I want him to have a good relationship with you.’
At that Javier seemed to lose a touch of colour and Emmy stepped closer—was he worried he wasn’t going to be a good father to their son?
‘I’ve missed out on so much,’ he muttered so softly. ‘What if I can’t ever make it up...?’
Her heart ached as she realised how much she’d hurt him. She felt appalled at how close she’d come to denying both Javier and Luke this relationship. She should have contacted him. She should have given him the chance. Instinctively she put her hand on his arm in both apology and reassurance.
‘He’s so young and he’s very loving,’ she promised.
She felt Javier’s muscles tense beneath her touch and suddenly the atmosphere was charged. Before she could lift her hand away he’d clamped his over the top of hers, pressing her palm against his hot skin. He stepped back and sat on the sofa. By the nature of his hold on her, she had to sit too. Right beside him.
Maybe she should have resisted more. But it flickered between them—that shimmering, powerful thing that sent shivers along her nerve-endings and made her hold her breath. That dangerous, beguiling thing.
His gaze was very dark and deep as he smoothed his hand over the back of hers and then flipped hers over to inspect her palm. ‘Why did you work so hard?’
‘I owed Connie everything,’ she answered, trying to mask the sudden tightness in her lungs. ‘Without her, I would’ve had nowhere to go.’
His grip on her tensed and she sought to make him understand somehow.
‘We were in a safe, beautiful place, had a roof over our heads, food on the table,’ she tried to explain. ‘It might not have been perfect—’ She broke off at his snort. ‘But it was the best I could do.’
‘It didn’t have to be like that. You didn’t have to work all hours...’
She frowned at him. ‘But—’
‘I would have helped you,’ he growled roughly. ‘I would have done everything in my power to help you. You didn’t need to do this on your own.’
Regret rose, smashing down the last of her defences.
‘Don’t,’ she mumbled as that other emotion spilled, overwhelming her to the point where she had to reject him. ‘Don’t say nice things to me.’
He stared at her for a second. ‘Then what should I do?’ he asked with the gentlest of tease in his tone. ‘Berate you? Bully you? What am I supposed to do?’
‘I don’t know.’
His sudden soft chuckle was a torturous reminder of the carefree, humorous man she’d met that night. He’d been playful and kind and she’d instinctively trusted him with so very much. And now something wild and free soared again, enabling her to laugh with him in an effervescent release and for just a moment that terrible tension eased. A split second later tears sprang to her eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. She was truly sorry she hadn’t been able to contact him for so long. And more so that she’d chosen not to when she’d finally found out who he really was.
‘I know,’ he whispered back, and his beautiful cocoa gaze bored into hers. ‘I’m sorry too.’
They’d not meant for this to happen. They’d not meant for a fantasy escape to have such serious repercussions.
‘We can move forward,’ she breathed.
He stared back at her silently and that charge in the atmosphere strengthened.
But this wasn’t what she’d meant. Not this curling heat. She thought they’d just had a breakthrough—but that tiny moment of honesty was now submerged by the need rearing between them again. Intense, unstoppable and inescapable. It was more than a minor itch or low ache. It was a furious hunger and every time she got within five feet of him, it burned. She could barely resist the pull to lean closer still. His hand held hers loosely but she was incarcerated by the spiralling emotions. Flames flickered promise and pleasure. She stared into his eyes and he leaned towards her slowly. Closer, closer still until the conflagration ignited.
‘We sh-shouldn’t...’ She was so breathless now.
But he was so close, his mouth brushed hers even as she tried to speak. ‘We sh—’
‘Shh,’ he commanded and his lips silenced hers.
Her eyes closed and her mouth parted on a sigh of surrender as ecstasy surged through her. She moaned as she felt his answering tremor. His arms went hard and tight around her and she sank against him. In seconds she was utterly breathless, desperate for more. All her cares and concerns—actually all her brains—were lost. There was nothing but this touch and the hot fierce temptation that shivered through every cell.
She’d thought she remembered. But she’d not—not the intensity and shimmering raw pleasure to be found right here in his kiss.
She’d never regretted the night she’d spent in his—a stranger’s—arms. She’d never questioned her choice to gift him her virginity so swiftly and easily. Because the touch, the pleasure she’d discovered with him, in his body, had been the most ultimate sensation of her life. There’d been no uncertainty, no decision necessary. There’d only been desperation for more. But while swift, it hadn’t felt carefree, nothing as easy as that. It had felt undeniable.
She’d been overwhelmed then, but the depth of the pleasure now was even sharper. It was as if her body remembered and were starved to the point that it wouldn’t allow her to stop this—she literally couldn’t pull back until the ultimate release had been gleaned. Her need for his touch was truly shocking—reducing her in this moment to a starving, feral creature, clinging to the source of possible satisfaction.
‘Emmy.’ With a growl he pulled her closer as if he knew how bad the ache was and he assuaged it only slightly with a powerful press of his body against hers. ‘It’s okay.’
But it wasn’t. She wanted rid of her clothes. She ached for the absolute escape she’d found that night. It was insane that she sought this from the man who posed such a threat to her very soul. Her heart was all and only Luke’s, but Javier could take everything else. And it was only that flashing realisation that shocked her from the mists of his seduction.
‘No,’ she cried—ordering herself to obey more than she was telling him.
Javier released her immediately. Except Emmy was so weakened she swayed after him. He swiftly reached out to grip her shoulders hard to steady her and settle her back from him on the sofa.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘That shouldn’t have happened.’
She ached when he released his hold on her a second time—her conflicting desires tearing her apart.
‘That was inevitable,’ he said roughly. ‘You know it as well as I. It’s still there, Emmy. As strong as it was the day we met. It’s a force neither of us seem equipped to deny.’ But there was more than a glimpse of triumph in his eyes.
‘Well, we have to.’ She had to.
Once more she’d all but fallen apart from a single touch—his to explore, to take, to pleasure. She couldn’t believe the attraction was so intense and that she’d managed to pull back. She had to find a better defenc
e against it. Because doing this again with him could only lead to trouble.
‘Prevent biology?’ He glanced at her sceptically. ‘Nature wants us to procreate. It seems we’re good at it.’
‘Well, it’s not happening again. That was a mistake.’