Snap out of it, Ettie.
The removal van was due in five minutes. She’d had very little to do—just repacked those few belongings she’d got out.
Someone knocked on the door. She checked the peephole. The guy’s cap was pulled low but had the removal logo on it. He was early. Of course, anyone hired by Leon would be efficient in the extreme.
She opened the door, knowing the security guard stationed along from her flat would have already vetted him. But it wasn’t the removal man. It was Leon himself.
She stared, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She’d never seen him this casually dressed. She’d pretty much only seen him either in a suit or naked. Now he was in black jeans, black T-shirt—and both fitted him lovingly. The effect of his outfit was...appallingly inappropriate. She clenched her jaw and her fists, furious for her basic reaction to him. Every time.
He totalled her senses.
‘I need to be able to help you, Ettie.’ He shifted on his feet and broke the silence. ‘Don’t you think?’
That’s all he wanted to do?
Unable to speak, she nodded and stood aside so he could enter. She had to be stronger than this.
He was holding a tray she’d not seen through the peephole. ‘I brought you these.’
A trio of little plants in pretty pots. Fresh herbs to replace the ones that had died.
‘Housewarming present for your new apartment,’ he explained in her silence. ‘I noticed your other ones hadn’t survived your absence.’
Of course. He noticed everything. He’d even got the exact right herbs—thyme, chives, basil. Her battered heart burst apart that little bit more. But it was a peace offering and she could be adult enough to accept it, couldn’t she?
‘Thank you,’ she said awkwardly as he put the plants on the old dining table.
He didn’t pick up one of the stacked boxes. Instead he looked across the small space to her, his expression more serious than ever. It should have been impossible.
‘I’m sorry.’ His words spilled suddenly into the taut silence. Uneven and harsh, like sharp pebbles tossed with piercing aim.
Was that what he’d come to offer? An apology? Her heart cranked open again, seeping pain and pure disappointment. She should appreciate the gesture, but she found she wasn’t quite ready to be friends with him yet. Too soon. Too sore.
She blinked rapidly, tried to pull herself together enough to offer a polite smile. Could he just shift the boxes now? But he was standing there—as still as still, his expression unreadable, his eyes as dark as his T-shirt.
‘I don’t know what love really is, Ettie. I only know what it isn’t and I couldn’t let that happen to you. It’s why I thought I should—could—let you go. I never wanted you to be unhappy.’
Yes, she knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her. He’d only tried to do the right thing. Now, could he please pick up a box?
‘Ettie?’ He paused. ‘Please look at me.’
He asked so softly and she couldn’t resist. This was the problem; she didn’t think she could ever resist. Not for long. She wasn’t ready for this yet.
He was paler than usual. Intense. Rigid. Her eyes filled because he was trying to open up and be honest and she could see the cost of that effort. She could see the desperation in him. Because he knew he’d hurt her and he didn’t like that. He might be bossy, but he was kind, and that broke her heart all over again. ‘Leon—’
‘No. Let me finish. Hell, start. I’m making a mess of it.’ He rubbed his hand through his hair, frustration leaping from him. ‘It’s taken me a bit to realise you weren’t rejecting me. You thought you were doing the right thing for me. For the baby. And for you. Because you wanted more than what I was offering. You were right to want that.’
Not the money, the lifestyle, the security. No, she’d wanted something far more precious from him.
‘I’ve always been unwilling to share space with anyone, share anything much. I didn’t know how.’
He stood still but Ettie could see the faint trembling of his fingers and she waited. She couldn’t have spoken if she’d tried.
‘I have that massive house because it made me feel free. I thought we’d hardly be aware of each other in there, but somehow you filled it,’ he said. ‘I didn’t know it at the time, but I’ve never been as scared in all my life as those few days when you were living with me. And then you left.’ He puffed out a long, pained breath. ‘And now I’ve finally worked out what it was I’d been so afraid of. It was that. You leaving.’ He paused. ‘Having you with me was like a dream, and I didn’t want to wake up and find you gone. Not again.’
Ettie couldn’t move, couldn’t open her mouth, not even to release the moan building in her chest. She hurt so much—for him, for her. And the fragile hope that was mounting within was too much to bear.
‘I didn’t recognise what I was feeling,’ he said. ‘I just didn’t know, Ettie. I’ve never had it before. Never felt it.’ He stepped nearer to her, his eyes blazing almost black with intensity. ‘You were right. I buried myself—us—in sex. I had this driving need to get closer to you. It’s so good, but that’s because it’s not just physical, Ettie.’ His voice lifted. ‘It never was. I think back to that first day. I’ve never been as intrigued by anyone. You were passionate and fiery and sweet and kind. But the thing is, you do lovely things for everyone and I doubted that I was all that special—’
‘I don’t sleep with just anyone,’ she interrupted harshly.
‘I know.’ He lifted his shoulders and then let them fall in a slight, helpless movement of concession. ‘You slipped under my armour without my even realising I had armour on. And then I was vulnerable. I didn’t like that, Ettie. Uncertainty is hideous.’ He dragged in another breath. ‘The trouble is, I don’t know how to give you what’s in here.’ He pressed his fist to his chest. ‘All I knew was that I wanted you to be free and happy, to fly and have all the things I thought you hadn’t had... Before these last few days, I never stopped to wonder why I wanted that for you but it’s since become obvious. I wanted what’s best for you, because I’ve fallen in love with you. I wanted you to have everything...’ His voice petered out and he stood there, alone and exposed.
‘I just wanted you.’ Ettie’s throat was so tight she could only whisper as her hope overflowed her wounded heart. ‘You were my pick, my special thing just for me. That first night and ever since, all I’ve ever wanted was you.’
The expression on his face crumbled her defences. He looked torn—somewhere between touched and hopeful and terrified.
‘I love you and I’m not going to stop loving you.’ Her voice shook. ‘But—’
‘You think I’m only here because of the baby.’ He gazed at her, reading her own vulnerability, her own limiting fears. ‘No. Our future was set the second I clapped eyes on you. One night was never going to be enough. But you worked for me and you were shy and I was processing how to get around that when we found out...you were pregnant. That changed everything and I think I just went on auto—instinct telling me what needed to happen and what I really wanted... And that’s you—all of you and all the love you have to give.’ He paused. His voice was strained. ‘I’m so greedy, Ettie. I want you in my life. I don’t want to let you go. I’m not going to let you go. And I refuse to regret the circumstances that brought us back together. I can’t wait until we meet our baby. I love you.’ He shook his head as he repeated it beneath his breath.
She put her hand on his lips and stopped him. ‘You deserve to have all the love.’ Her eyes watered.
‘But how do I show you? How do I make you happy?’
His admission—letting her see his vulnerability—touched her more than anything.
She shook her head. ‘You just do—just you. Listening to me, laughing with me, loving me. It’s not pity. It’s compassion. It’s understanding.’
He gazed so hard into her eyes it was as though he was drinking her words in and was desperately trying to understand, to believe...
‘You don’t even realise you’re doing it,’ she muttered, half marvelling. ‘Why do you think I fell in love with you? I took one look and wanted you. Even when I thought you were a heartless brute about to condemn Toby, I still felt that physical pull. But I fell in love with you that night—you let me see your smile, you let me in enough to laugh with me, and it was just magic. You were funny and smart and you noticed what I needed before I realised it myself. You see me. You know how to care, Leon. It’s innate in you.’
The stark emotion in his eyes melted her.
‘You’re also completely bossy,’ she couldn’t help teasing.
He didn’t hide his smile then. ‘What, you mean I’m not perfect?’
‘How boring would that be?’ She cupped his jaw, reading the tension lingering in his eyes. ‘Just talk to me—about anything. Nothing. Everything. I don’t need grand gestures, Leon, or fancy dates. It’s the everyday things you already do so well.’ She pointed at the herbs. ‘See? You notice. You care.’
He frowned and put out a dismissive hand. ‘That was just—’
‘Thoughtful,’ she interrupted. ‘You did it because you were thinking of me.’
‘I think of you all the time,’ he muttered huskily.
She stilled because in that moment she truly, finally, completely believed him. It had been the simplest, most heartfelt declaration she’d ever heard.
‘Why are you crying?’ He pulled her against his chest as her face crumpled and she sobbed.
‘Because I’m happy.’ She clung to him, needing to feel his heat and strength. ‘I love you, Leon.’
He was here. And he was hers.
‘I love you too.’ He cradled her gently, stroking his hand down her back as she cried out the days of loneliness and heartache. ‘I want everything with you—laughter, love, babies, puppies.’
She gurgled with watery laughter but hugged him hard. ‘You were right too,’ she said softly. ‘I was afraid of going for what I wanted—of making a mistake again—so I ran. It’s been so awful. All I wanted was you. And I was terrified that you didn’t want me.’
Despite all the kisses that had gone before, this felt like their first. In that magical moment just before contact, when breath mingled and eyes locked, that was nerves and excitement, happiness and wonder. Ettie understood his stillness for what it was—the remnants of fear, anxiety and loss leaving them both. This time their sensuality wasn’t to avoid emotional intimacy, but to enhance it. And so swiftly, it flared. Incandescently.
‘Glykia mou.’
He pushed her clothes aside. Kisses touched skin the second it was bared. When she couldn’t stand any more he took her down to the floor, into his embrace. He lifted her onto his lap so she straddled him. Face to face, eye to eye. Back in the light where there was no hiding anything. He held her, helped her slide on him until he was buried as deep as possible. More tears trickled at the sudden, exquisite fulfilment. Sealed tightly to him, staring deep into his eyes, she’d never felt this close to anyone. Never as secure...
And never as hot.
A glint of amusement sparked in his eye as he slid his hand down to lightly stroke right where she was most sensitive.
‘I’m trying to slow down,’ she complained with a moan of delight, and leaned closer to kiss his gorgeous mouth.