Maybe Cami was right after all, and Kendall and I are meant to be together. The thought has me grinning, and I get lost in the fantasy of her being mine. As soon as I get back to the city, I know I'll be working nonstop. It complicates things because I know I won’t have time for her even though I would if I could. But I’d try. I don't think I can ignore the way she makes me feel or pretend we didn't share something special these past two weeks.
I reach for the remote and turn off the TV. Kendall rolls on her side, and I mold my body against hers until we're spooning. Kendall might very well be the woman of my dreams, the one I’ve been searching for all this time. She understands me and calms me in ways I’ve desperately needed. There’s no way I can ignore that, but I’m not sure she feels the same.Chapter NineteenKendallDAY 14The past two weeks with Ryan have been absolutely incredible and surreal. The driveway was plowed yesterday, then we spent the day making sure the cabin was clean and ready for Cami and Eli’s honeymoon—made sure the bed sheets were washed and all the decorations were up. We went to the grocery store and restocked all the food and beverages. I even got extra chocolate, booze, and candles just in case they lose power too.
Afterward, I prepared a steak dinner with baked potatoes. Our night was quiet and spent holding each other as we talked and watched TV.
He's given me a lot to think about regarding my future and possibly starting an event planning company. It’s something that’s been on my mind, and his encouraging words meant something to me, making me believe it could become a reality. The past two weeks have changed me in a good way. My parents are going to be confused when I mention starting a business, but I know they’ll support whatever I want to do. A smile touches my lips as I think about all that’s to come.
Ryan helped me learn so much about myself. Without all the outside noise and opinions of my family or friends, it was easier for me to realize what truly makes me happy. It was just us together in the cabin, and I could be myself around him for the first time ever.
After we wake up and have a hearty breakfast, Ryan and I go our separate ways to pack our bags. Yesterday, I did a couple of loads of laundry and threw my clothes on the bed. Since I slept in his room last night, I haven't had the chance to fold them. Taking my time, I neatly arrange them in my suitcases. As I suck in a deep breath, my emotions get the best of me. It’s bittersweet that our time together is ending. Two weeks with him isn’t enough.
I make a final sweep of the bathroom, grabbing my moisturizer I left on the counter. When I go back into the bedroom, I grab my bags and carry them downstairs. As I wait for Ryan, I stand in front of the large windows that overlook the mountain peaks. Everything is still blanketed in white and looks like a winter wonderland. Seeing the countryside like this hardly ever happens, and I’m grateful for the view. If we could stay here another two weeks wrapped in each other’s arms, I wouldn't complain a bit. Well, as long as we had electricity and food. The thought makes me smile.
I think about Cami and Eli and how they fell madly in love with each other while they were quarantined here. Now I understand how they fell so hard and fast in a way I couldn’t comprehend before. I'm not sure if it's the quietness or how I'm able to be myself behind these walls, but it's refreshing. I came to the cabin with Ryan for a short decorating trip and somehow managed to fall in love in the process.
The thought scares the absolutely shit out of me.
I’ve always had a thing for Ryan, but the connection and bond we’ve created is so damn strong. Losing him and having this end so abruptly is so unfair.
As I stand in silence, replaying all the intimate times and laughs we’ve shared, I begin to break down. When I blink, tears trail down my cheeks, but I force myself to suck it up and wipe them away. I’m trying to believe this isn’t the end and we can continue this, but I don’t know for sure. One thing is for certain, though, things have changed. I've gotten used to spending all day with him. He's quickly burrowed himself in the pits of my heart, and losing that will hurt like hell.
Once we’re back in the city, he’ll be back to working long hours. After all the conversations we’ve had about his past relationships and how much his career means to him, there’s no way I could come between it. I’m selfish, though, and want him as I’ve had him here, but that’s nothing more than a fairy tale.